Lil' Roomie
by That Engineer
Summary: Adjusting to a new roommate certainly has its challenges, especially if it's someone who's 10 years younger than you. But, Lincoln will soon learn that having a baby for a roommate is much more fun than having a room to yourself. With the added bonus as a good opportunity to make up for lost time. Based after Room with a Feud. Cover art by Heterow. [HAITUS]
1. A Calm Night

**A/N: After doing at least 3 stories that are centered around drama, my mind has been starved a bit on one important factor: fluff. I believe that when one writes, there should be a balance of drama and heartwarming so you don't burn yourself out in either category; and lately, I've been itching to start a cute fic for a while. Sure, Worth and Syn have such moments, but they aren't true heartwarming fics (especially for their topics). So, this will be my first Loud House fic that centers around family moments with a few of the siblings. I was gonna wait until one of my other stories was finished, but I couldn't wait any longer.**

 **Disclaimer: I own NOTHING from the Loud House.**

Lincoln lied awake in his bed, several thoughts running on a treadmill in his head as he stared at the dark ceiling. Small snores reverberated throughout the room, the source of which was a small infant snuggled contently in her crib. The 11 year old glanced at his new roommate, spotting a small snot bubble coming out of Lily's nose as she slept. Lincoln huffed, giving a small smile. For someone who drooled all over his comics and toys earlier, he couldn't stay mad at something so cute.

See, Lincoln wasn't in his old room, which at this point he might as well call 'Lisa's lab'. Following the whole 'roommate dilemma', each sibling had a new sibling to bunk with that was more compatible with their interests. At first, Lincoln's idea for a compatibility test appeared to have worked, but it quickly failed within a few hours. Guess using a test from a comic book wasn't the best idea after all. Still, it was rather odd how some of his sisters didn't seem to get along despite having similar interests.

For example, Lynn and Lana were both tomboys who loved to get down and dirty every once in a while (or in Lana's case, _all the time_ ). Between playing sports and mud wrestling, you'd think they wouldn't have any issues with sharing a room. Then again, while Lynn had tons of sporting equipment, Lana had many reptiles. How their parents let her keep a _rattlesnake,_ Lincoln would never know. Nor did he want to. Didn't she know how dangerous those things were?...

Next up were Luna and Lisa with their explosive personalities. Lincoln furrowed his brows. To be fair, that was a recipe for disaster. Sure, both sisters made a ton of noise either through music or chemical explosions; but Luna purposely cranks her music up to 11, while Lisa's detonations are typically accidents. And didn't Lisa have a small problem with getting ringing in her ears every now and then? Speaking of the little prodigy, it was a hard pill to swallow knowing that Lisa is actually bald with a _pulsating green brain._ If it weren't for the fact Lincoln was more focused on thinking about how his method failed, that memory alone would give him nightmares.

Then, there was Leni with Luan. Leni was someone who could probably laugh at any joke you tell her, unless it's one of Luan's lame puns. In most cases, the blonde would roll her eyes at the punch line; this time around, she actually laughed at the comedian's jokes. Luan was more than obligated to keep the hurricane of puns coming, but it seemed Leni can't tell if someone is actually telling a joke or just making a statement. It's no wonder Luan eventually got fed up with her laughter.

Lincoln's mind drifted to Lucy and Lola temporarily sharing a room. He only thought about it for a second before wanting to facepalm at how idiotic that pairing was. Sure, both girls definitely had a dramatic flare to them, but it was like looking at the personified version of light and darkness. Would Lola really want to stay with a dark and gloomy roommate without trying to spruce things up to her liking? After seeing what she did to Edwin, the answer was obvious.

The last pair was Lily and Lori. Honestly, they were a bit of a headscratcher, but both of them had some sort of mobile device. Million dollar question: what would a _baby_ need a phone for? Half the time they might try to eat it. Things seemed to go well, until Lori stepped on Lily's phone. Lincoln couldn't help but roll his eyes at what Lori said. Lily making a huge deal out of her phone being broken? That's a lot coming from someone who'd certainly go ballistic if someone broke _your_ phone, Lori. One thing was certain though: Lily was much smarter than anyone would give credit for, seeing as she knew how to upload an embarrassing photo of the teen.

Lastly, there was Lincoln. He purposely left himself out of that test since he didn't have a roommate to speak of. But, it was now clear as to why his compatibility test failed. Just because a few people have similar personalities, doesn't mean they'd have a lot in common. Lincoln and Clyde sure shared a lot of interests, but Lincoln would admit that he didn't have as many problems as Clyde did. Certainly none that would require multiple visits to a therapist.

"Guess Lisa was right. _Again..._ " The boy groaned. " _Actually, I prefer cohabitation so that I have a built-in test subject._ Doesn't seem that way since she turned my old room into a lab..." He folded his arms. "I mean, 17%? That's gotta be made up. Lisa might be smarter than all of us, but she still has _some_ similarities with my sisters; chocolate being one of her weaknesses for one."

Not that Lincoln had anything against Lily, it's just that he didn't like having to sleep in a room that smelled like week-old trash. Seriously, how does Lily's poop smell so bad? And more importantly, how can Lisa stand it? Thinking about his sisters again, the new pairings looked to be working well. Lori and Lola are quite bossy and into fashion, Luan and Lucy were very creative in what they do, Luna and Lana's hobbies tended to involve heavy lifting and a lot of noise (or something like that. Lincoln wasn't too sure if music was a 'garage-based hobby'), and even Leni and Lynn managed to find some common ground.

On one hand, it'd be a lie if Lincoln said he was upset by the fact he had nothing in common with his sisters. The reason he preferred his single bedroom was that it allowed him to escape the antics of his sisters on a daily basis. The beauty of it being that the walls around the closet also seemed to be thicker than the walls in the other rooms, allowing Lincoln some peace and solitude if he needed it. He couldn't get that in a shared room like the one he was in right now. Although it felt nice having more space to walk around, Lincoln could also hear Lynn's snoring through the wall...

On the other...it'd also be a lie if he wasn't a little bit bothered by this. The last time he tried to get his sisters to indulge in his activities, they pretty much brushed him off. Then, he sought out Lily and hoped to mold her into his 'mini-me'. Turns out, his sisters had the same issue. That in itself was a little debatable with someone like Lori and Leni. Both girls were definitely into fashion and had a lot of girl talks, so what exactly was their problem? With the other sisters, the differences in hobbies was much more clear and understandable. But now, that appeared to be solved for the most part with the recent roommate changes. Not only that, the siblings had promised to let Lily decide on what she wanted to do from then on when it came to her interests.

A small frown took form on Lincoln's face as his thoughts focused on the infant. In general, he and Lily had a good relationship. Being one of the siblings who often cares for her, you'd think they'd be a decent match. Guess Lisa literally was right on them having a commonality of 17%, seeing as Lincoln couldn't even stand sharing a room with his baby sister for one night. Guilt started to pool in his stomach as memories of the last few times Lincoln hung out with Lily resurfaced. Aside from trying to influence her into doing stuff he likes, he also used the baby as an excuse to avoid visiting his great aunt; and he nearly _lost her_. In fact, this happened twice when Lincoln brought his younger sisters to the mall and the baby was stuck on a runaway train. Lincoln could only imagine the looks he'd get from his family if they saw he returned home with someone else's baby; much less if Lily got hurt from that train incident. Not only would he have been grounded, they would probably never trust him to watch Lily ever again (along with his younger siblings at worst). What's making these memories rather depressing? It's the one thing all of these situations had in common: Lincoln used Lily as a means to an end, rather than for genuine bonding.

A series of whimpers derailed Lincoln's thoughts like a chainsaw cutting through a wooden door. By instinct, humans can detect the sound of a baby quite easily; it's one of the most identifiable high-pitched noises you'll experience. The boy climbed out of bed and walked towards his sister's crib, wondering what could have disturbed her slumber. He didn't detect any foul odors, so she couldn't need a late-night changing. Looking down, Lincoln saw Lily's eyes were still closed, but she was twisting and turning under her blanket. A small cry escaped her every few seconds, little tears starting to form in the corners of her eyes.

"Must be a nightmare." Lincoln muttered before picking up the baby. Lily let out a whine that was louder than expected, probably getting the attention of those sleeping in the adjacent rooms. The 11 year old gently rubbed Lily's back. "Shhhhhh...don't worry Lily, big bro is here." He cooed.

The 15 month old buried her head in the cup of Lincoln's arm, gently gripping his shoulders as she sniffled back snot.

"Had trouble sleeping?"

Lily nodded, now mostly awake. She babbled something that Lincoln didn't quite understand; perhaps he'd ask Luan on knowledge about 'Lily-speak'. Regardless, he gave a warm smile. "Wanna sleep on my bed?"

The infant smiled back, saying 'yes' as best as she could. Lincoln carried her back over to his bed, lying down with Lily still on his chest. He kept a hand on her back to prevent her from slipping off. "Maybe I was thinking about this all wrong. We could actually be good roommates. I mean, if Lynn and Leni found common ground, whose to say we can't?"

Lily babbled on again, not necessarily trying to form any words, just random noises. After a few minutes, her energy ran out and sleep claimed her once more; her brother was quite comfy as a pillow. Lincoln gently fiddled with the little hairs on her head, being careful to not interrupt her nap. Thinking back to those three incidents, a look of determination formed on his face. "Don't worry Lily. I'm gonna make up for the times I haven't exactly been a good brother to you." He whispered.

Lincoln was on the verge of letting the Sandman claim him, when a sudden sneeze brought him back to the realm of the awakened. He felt a sticky wetness on the front of his shirt, making him lean up enough to glance down. Lily was still asleep, but snot trailed from her nose with a large, green splat mark on Lincoln's chest area. The 11 year old frowned at the ceiling as he lied back. "Ok...we're definitely making a few ground rules..."

 **A/N: First chapters are always short as a testing ground. During prior episodes, I've always felt that Lincoln and Lily had some kind of close relationship. So, when Lincoln was pretty adamant about sharing a room with the infant, it felt a bit...off, in a way. Even more so when sharing a room with Lily was regarded as, 'taking one for the team'. Sure, babies have their problems like keeping you up at night when they need changing and not going to sleep when you want them to. But that's them being babies. They'll grow out of it eventually. So, I figured I'd focus on looking at the relationship (or rebuilding) the one Lincoln has with his littlest sister. I mentioned Lynn and Leni as a comparison because in all honesty, they're both right. They don't have too much in common, but somehow make it work.**

 **However, I also see some problems that can arise with all of the new room arrangements. One last thing: please don't send me any regards about potentially forgetting my other stories. The other two are so big it's practically impossible to ignore them.**


	2. Budding Relationships

**A/N: Seems everyone liked the approach I was going with, and I am dying to get in more cute moments. I decided to focus more on Lincoln and Lily for this chapter** **, but I am dropping hints at the development of the other roommates. Now, let's cut to the next morning, shall we?**

 **Disclaimer: I own NOTHING from the Loud House.**

The golden rays of the sun basked over Royal Woods as dawn arrived. The birds started to sing their tune as the squirrels played in the trees, with most humans waking up to their beautiful calls. If you had work on the weekend, it'd just be another day on the job. But if you didn't, you'd be taking this Sunday off before you had to drag your butt back to work the following day. And on a certain street in Royal Woods, one family always took advantage of these kinds of weekends.

Being that it was Sunday, none of the Louds set their alarms like they usually would, allowing one to get up without alerting the others. Lincoln intended to sleep in today, especially after the headache of a room swap that happened just 15 hours prior. Unfortunately, whether it was muscle memory due to school or the fact his roommate was an infant, the 11 year old wouldn't get to wake up as late as he wanted.

Lily sucked on her thumb, snuggled contently in her brother's arm. The rhythmatic rise and falls of the boy's chest kept her at peace. However, something began to stir inside her that made the baby abruptly awaken. The infant blinked her eyes open as she gave a small yawn; the distinct sound of a fart cutting across the room made her giggle slightly.

"Poo poo." Lily spoke, knowing she'd need a changing soon. She looked at her brother's sleeping face, his loud snores creating just as much noise. "Incon."

"..."

"Incon." Lily lightly patted Lincoln's chest. Her only reply was yet another snore. Frowning, Lily crawled out from under her brother's grip and pushed on his cheek. "Incon!"

Lincoln's head shook a little as he was jolted from his sleep. He let out a yawn as his vision corrected itself before settling on the infant. "Yeah Lily?"

What he got as a reply was a sound that immediately broke him out of his tired state: Lily defecating into her diaper. Along with it came a smell everyone in the house grew to hate.

Lincoln immediately pinched his nose in digust. "AWWW. LILY!"

Lily giggled in response. "Poo poo!"

Lincoln lifted the baby off his chest, thankful that her diaper wasn't the kind that leaked. "Yeah yeah...poo poo..."

Not the first thing he wanted to do for the day, but he would've had to anyways. Setting Lily on her changing table, Lincoln reached into the bottom drawers to grab some wipes and baby powder. He took a deep breath before peeling off the infant's diaper. His eyes watered as the stench hit him full force in the face; Lincoln fighting hard to resist the urge to vomit. Quickly discarding the messy diaper in a specially-made waste container, Lincoln cleaned off Lily's bottom before applying the baby powder and putting her in a clean diaper.

A chill went down Lincoln's spine as he tried to forget the horrid mess he witnessed. "We seriously gotta figure out why you stink so much..." He said to Lily, who clapped happily before sitting up.

The baby spotted a bird perched on a branch just outside the window. "Bah!" She pointed at it.

"Bah?" He looked in the direction Lily was pointing. "Oh, bird." He smiled. "You know who else is a sweet little bird?"

Lily hummed a little before making a noise that sounded like she was confused.

" _You are."_ Lincoln tickled her bare stomach with one of his hands. The baby cackled with laughter as she fell back on the table. Lincoln continued his little assault until he felt Lily's stomach grumble. Lincoln snorted a little. "Looks like someone's hungry."

The duo then heard Lincoln's own stomach demanding food, to which Lily pointed at him. "Hungee?"

"Yeah, that makes two of us." Lincoln grabbed his infant sister before heading towards the door, the baby instinctively gripping his shoulder for leverage.

Looking out in the hall, everyone else's bedroom door was closed. However, the sounds of shuffling feet in a few of the rooms made it clear that at least one other person was awake. And what's the one thing everyone needs to do when they get up? Lincoln's actions spoke volumes as he quickly dashed to the bathroom. Early bird gets the worm indeed, and he wasn't going to wait 20 minutes to do something that would only take him 2.

"Stay here for a sec Lily." Lincoln stated as he set the baby down in front of the door.

Right as he closed the door, Leni stepped out of her room with a yawn. To her dismay, she saw the bathroom appeared to be occupied. Looking down at the floor, she also spotted her baby sister patting the door. "Oh hey Lily! You need to use the bathroom too?"

Lily shook her head, but to Leni, it looked more like a nod. The older blonde knocked on the door. "Whoever's in there, Lily needs to go."

"I _just_ changed her Leni. How could she need to go again?" Came Lincoln's rebuttal.

The teen folded her arms. "Babies can go at any moment you know."

Lily gave an offhanded glance at the empty hallway before looking back at her sister. "Leli, no poo poo."

"Wait, I thought you said you needed to. Or did I not look at your good side?" Leni scratched her head.

Lily may not know much, but she could tell when her older sister was being an airhead. The sound of the toilet flushing and sink running got their attention, Lincoln soon stepping out looking quite content. "Bathroom's yours Leni."

"Thanks Linky!" Leni skipped into the bathroom and shut the door.

Seconds later, a bedroom door handle frantically shook before Lynn opened it in a frenzy. Her wide eyes still had bags under them, and the fact her hair was a mess meant she probably just woke up. " _Please_ tell me Leni didn't just walk in there..."

"Sorry Lynn, but you're gonna have to wait."

The 13 year old furrowed her tired brows. "Ughh!" Lynn groaned at the ceiling. "She always takes the longest!" The jock slammed her door shut, the creaking of a bed following seconds later.

Lincoln and Lily glanced at each other before shaking off the rude gesture. Grabbing the baby, the middle child went down to the kitchen. It appeared his parents were awake, seeing that their bedroom door was open. Just as he walked into the dining room, Lincoln spotted his father working the stove. Lynn Sr. was still wearing his nightware, but he also had your typical apron and chef hat as he continued making the family breakfast. The Loud patriarch was humming a tune whilst flipping hotcakes in a sauce pan. He flipped one out of the pan and onto a ready stack that sat in a pie pan. Along with the pancakes, he was also working on bacon and eggs.

Hearing his footsteps, Lynn Sr. glanced to his right. "Mornin' sport. Didn't think you'd be up this early."

"Morning dad. I would've slept in, but..." He glanced at Lily. "A certain someone pooped her diaper."

"That's weird." Lynn Sr. scratched the back of his head. "I didn't hear Lily crying to be changed this morning."

"That's because I slept in her room last night."

"Wait, if you slept in Lily's room, where did Lisa sleep?"

"She took my room. The girls were having issues with their old roommates, so we all decided to change it up a bit based on whoever shares the most common interests." Lincoln started counting off his fingers. "Lori's with Lola, Leni's with Lynn, Luna and Lana are together, and Luan shares a room with Lucy."

"Well those are some even pairs." Lynn chuckled at his own joke. "But seriously, do you think it's gonna work out like that? I mean, me and your mother had assigned everyone rooms for a reason."

Lincoln gave a shrug. "I honestly couldn't tell you." He placed Lily in her high chair at the table. "My compatibility idea didn't work out, but Lisa's appears to." He went over to the fridge to find Lily's baby forumla.

Lynn Sr. flipped another hotcake onto the stack. "Why didn't the last one work?"

The boy opened the fridge. "Just picture Lucy and Lola sharing a room."

Lynn looked at the ceiling as his imagination painting him a vivid image of his two daughters. He instantly burst out laughing. "Like _that_ would ever happen!"

Lincoln frowned, rolling his eyes a little before spotting Lily's formula. Closing the fridge, he put it in the microwave for 20 seconds. "Thanks for reminding me..."

"Oh, sorry sport. But hey, not all ideas go well the first time. Besides, you can hang out with your baby sister." Lynn flipped the last hotcake onto the stack. He grabbed the pie pan and stuck it in the oven. Taking his hat and apron off, "By the way, can you feed her a pancake? Be careful though, she tends to make a mess." He set the fire on the stove to low before walking out of the kitchen.

Lincoln cringed a little, remembering the last time he and Clyde tried feeding Lily. Who knew a small human could make such a mess? And dirty up the _entire kitchen_ in the process. Hearing the microwave ringing, the boy took the warm formula out and handed it to Lily. "Ok Lily. When I come back to feed you, can to you try to not make a mess this time? I don't wanna have to mop the ceiling again..."

Lily sucked on her bottle, removing it from her mouth to give a cute little burp. She looked to be giving her brother's words some thought. Lincoln leaned in a little, anticipating her answer. Instead, it turned out Lily was holding back a sneeze and blew mucus at his face. The baby went into a fit of giggles while Lincoln stood there with his face scrunched up in disgust.

"Shoulda saw that coming..."

* * *

It wasn't long before the rest of the family came down to eat. The girls seemed to be in better spirits than they were from yesterday, chatting it up with each other like they normally would. However, Lisa and Lincoln had noticed that some of the girls seemed to be more talkative towards their new roommates than their former; the prodigy took note of this as an ongoing case study while Lincoln didn't think much of it. They probably just held a small grudge or something. He had a more difficult task lying in front of him: feeding the littlest Loud.

Taking pieces of pancake from his plate, Lincoln carefully fed Lily a couple forkfuls; his movement were gingerly and careful, as if he was trying to disarm a bomb. Lily happily took each bite of food, until her creative side started to take control. She started playing around with a bottle syrup, getting some not only on herself but her high chair as well. When Lincoln tried to stop her, she squirted some at his eyes. By this point, Lincoln figured Lily must've _really_ liked to dirty up a room; she probably gets tips from Lana. Lincoln managed to move hisnhead enough to make the shot miss, only to have a glob of syrup strike Lola's hair. The six year old glaring daggers at the infant, which Lana took the opportunity to laugh at her twin; a hotcake was thrown at her face in response. The little tomboy retaliated by flinging her own hotcake, which Lola ducked to avoid and causing it to hit Luan instead. From there, you can guess how the family ended up cleaning the whole dining room after breakfast. Should I mention there was also a long line for the shower?

While most of the family waited in line to wash the used food and syrup off their skin, Lincoln opted to use the hose outside. Not that he cared about getting his PJs wet, he just wasn't gonna wait a full hour to wash up. Plus, Luna was in the bathroom and hogging all the hot water, trying to hit a certain pitch while she was singing. Upon entering the house through the kitchen, Lincoln spotted Rita washing Lily in the sink.

Lily splashed happily in the water, getting a little on Rita shirt. The mother didn't mind, only giving a small giggle.

"Someone's certainly playful today." She heard the kitchen door closing, making her twist her head to the right. "Oh hey Lincoln. Are you doing anything today?"

"Not that I know of. I was probably gonna head to the arcade to hang with Clyde."

"Well, can you do me a favor and watch Lily for a couple of hours? I'm gotta go to the store to do grocery shopping."

"Sure, I can-" Lincoln paused. "Wait, do you still have to go to that other store across town?"

Rita shook her head, focusing back on rubbing some syrup off Lily's head. "No. I managed to get the manager to let us use the store again. He just doesn't want you kids in there anymore."

The boy frowned. "I thought all of us apologized for that."

"You did, but Mr. Williams still doesn't trust you kids," Rita glanced at Lincoln, "Especially after the mess you all made."

"Maybe I should've just brought Lily with me..." Lincoln muttered. At least he could keep track of her quite easily as opposed to 9 females with cognitive motor skills. "But I'll look after her."

"Thanks son." Rita smiled before getting a bit of water splashed at her face. "Lily..." The baby giggled.

Heading upstairs, the line to the bathroom had gotten a little shorter. Lori just stepped out and Lynn walked in. Lynn Sr. was in the very back of the line, looking like he was about to wet himself. "Doh...can't this line go any faster?..."

"You could do what I usually do pops." Lana replied, poking out of her and Luna's room. "Old sloshy is _always_ open." She grinned, producing the aforementioned bucket.

The father cringed, seeing the bucket was nearly full with pee, poop, and whatever else was in there. Looking back at the line, he still had to wait for six of his other daughters to go in.

"Fine..." He sighed, grabbing it from Lana. "Really hate using this thing..." The father muttered as he went down the stairs.

Lincoln stood there for a few more seconds before walking back to his room. He walked up to what used to be his closet bedroom, propping the door open just before he realized what he was doing.

Lisa turned to the door from her desk, her stoic face not changing despite the sudden interruption. "Do you require assistance elder brother?"

"Oh, sorry. Just forgot that this isn't my room anymore."

"It's alright. You aren't the only one who forgot the recent changes to our living accommodations." Lisa twisted back to the desk.

Peeking in further, Lincoln saw a couple of monitors. He gave a deadpanned expression. "You're seriously recording this?"

"Its quite an interesting case study. According to mother and father, we haven't switched rooms in the last few years. If you do recall, your current room used to be my own before Lily was born."

Lincoln folded his arms. "Which used to be mine before _you_ came along. I wasn't exactly into the idea of moving into the closet, but it grew on me. Are you comfortable with it?" He looked around, noting how a couple large computers and other technical stuff that was embedded into the walls. "Cause it seems kinda small for someone who had a giant lab."

"Yes, it is smaller than my former room, but I've made do." Lisa scratched her head, slightly moving her wig up just enough for Lincoln to see part of her pulsating green skull.

Lincoln grimaced at the site. "Uh...you sure you don't want to go see a doctor about your...?"

The 4 year old readjusted her wig. "Not to worry. I did a self diagnosis immediately after my nuclear experiment and concluded that I'm at no risk of any health-related issues. The subsequent pulses are only temporary and should diminish over time. The only consequence is that I am unable to grow any follicles on my head."

"Riiight..." Lincoln shifted uncomfortably. "Lily wasn't in the room when you did this, right?"

Lisa shook her head. "Negative." She took notes as she watched Luan about to make the same mistake Lincoln did. However, she quickly came to her senses and went to the room next door. "Everyone else was absent when the accident happened."

Not wanting to pry into it any further, Lincoln wordlessly went to his room to change. Dumping his soaked PJs on the floor, he changed into his usual attire. After he was done, Lincoln went back downstairs where he hoped the couch wasn't gonna turn into some weird rendition of the Wild West over the remote. Luckily, the boob tube was off and no one was sitting down. Jumping onto the couch, Lincoln snatched the remote out of the air and switched the TV on.

While channel surfing, Rita came by and sat Lily on the floor. "Be back later sweetie." She spoke before exiting the house.

Lily stared at the door for a few moments before turning her attention to the TV. She couldn't fully grasp what was going on in the various channels, nor did they looking appealing to her. However, right when Lincoln skimmed over a certain channel, Lily let out a gasp. On the screen was a young anthropomorphic pig along with his older sister doing an arts and crafts activity. Lincoln however, knew this was a baby show and switched the channel, finally finding his favorite cartoon show. Lily started to whine as she crawled over to the TV, trying to figure out how to bring the other show back.

Lincoln looked at his baby sister in confusion. "What is it Lily?"

The baby babbled something in her panic, pressing random buttons which brought up a menu of options. Lily started to scroll through them and selected a few, not knowing what it would do. She ended up dimming the screen to the point one could barely see the picture. Small tears started to form in her eyes when Lincoln got up and brought her to the couch.

"Ok, well watch Peppa Pig. Just don't try to break the TV." Lincoln chuckled before using the remote to readjust the settings. He switched back to the previous channel, putting an end to Lily's fuss. The infant squealed with joy as she bounced in his lap.

Minutes later, Lola came down dressed in her usual gown. Spotting the TV being on, and more importantly what was on it, she wondered who would still be watching that kiddie show. Upon spotting a white headed top, a devious grin grew on the princess' face.

 _"You make this too easy Linky."_ She spoke inwardly as she reached the bottom. "Guess a certain someone still hasn't put on on their big boy pants yet."

Lincoln frowned before looking towards Lola. "I'm not the one watching it, for your information."

"Says the boy who probably still reads PrincessPony when no one's looking." Lori teased as she came down.

"Ugh!" Lincoln's cheeks went red with embarrassment. "You're still bring that up?"

"I did say we'd make fun of you for the rest of your life."

Lily leaned out of Lincoln's lap enough to give a curious glance at her sisters. Lori gave a small wave at her.

"Hah Loli! Lola!"

"Aw! She said my name right for once!" The princess cooed. She shifted her gaze to Lincoln, who was giving her a frown. "Oh, so it was Lily watching it. Never mind then."

The boy rolled his eyes. "Probably the closest I'll get to an apology..." He muttered, making Lily look at him.

"What was that?" Lola spoke in a low tone.

"Uhhh, nothing?" Lincoln smiled nervously. Sweat dripped from his forehead as Lola studied his face, trying to see through his facade. Lily returned the look, thinking she was being challenged to a staring contest.

The six year old couldn't pry any further as everyone heard a car horn outside. "EEEE! That must be Carol." Lori cheered, grabbing the younger girl's arm. "Come on Lola, the mall awaits!"

Lily blew a raspberry at her twin, taunting her for losing.

"You guys are heading to the mall? Can we come?!" Leni asked in her usual happy tone, running down the stairs. "Me and Lynn totes need to look at some fashionable sports wear."

Lincoln raised an eyebrow. "Well, that's two words I didn't think I'd ever hear in one sentence: Lynn and fashion."

"Winners gotta look good while they're owning it, bro." The 13 year old replied as she slid down the railing.

Lori hummed in thought, moving the curtains to look out the window. Carol was on her phone in the driver seat, and her car was a typical four-door sedan. "I guess we can all fit," The teen opened the door, "But _I_ get the front seat!" She took off for the car before the others could react.

"Great, that means I'd probably have to sit next to Ms. Queen of Smells..." Lola muttered as she walked out behind Leni.

"Pff, not like you'd last a minute doing the stuff I'd do." Lynn retorted.

"Well that goes double for you, you-!" Lynn shut the door as Lola spoke the last word, but Lincoln swore Lola probably uttered a swear. Turning their attention back to the TV, the two siblings couldn't get more than a few seconds into the show before two more siblings came down. Luna had her guitar strapped to her back and Lana followed with Hops in her front pouch.

"So, where are you guys heading?" Lincoln asked.

"Headin' to Sam's for a wicked jam session bro." Luna spoke as she took out on a bike helmet.

"And Lana?"

"I'm going with. I gots a couple of cool ideas." Lana stated as she put on her own helmet.

"Plus, little duddete can drop some sick beats. Good thing my ride still has a side car."

Lincoln couldn't argue there, recalling the time Lana participated in a princess pageant. In all fairness, Lana could probably give her own twin a run for her money if she put her mind to it. The two girls left within seconds, and soon after, Luan came down with some party supplies.

"Got another birthday party Luan?"

"Yep. And don't worry, you can literally _sit all day_ for this one!" The comedian laughed at her own joke.

Lincoln raised an eyebrow. "Whose gonna be your assistant if I'm not gonna go with you?"

"Me." A monotonous voice came from Lincoln and Lily's right, startling the two.

The infant started to whimper a little, her eyes becoming wet with tears. Not wanting Lily to start a crying fit, Lincoln rubbed the top of her head to try and calm her. He gave an annoyed glare at the goth. "Lucy..."

"Sorry...but Luan hired me for a couple of days."

"Didn't she fire you for scaring everyone?"

"That I did." Luan fished through her gear before pulling out a clown afro. "But, this next party I'm going to is gonna be one that's right up her scary ally. Plus, I'm thinking of doing something other than the mime gig we did last time."

Lucy walked towards the door. "I'm not one for entertainment, but I do appreciate putting on a show for my fellow beings of the dark."

"You don't exactly look happy about it." Lincoln pointed out.

Lucy stared at him with her trademark frown. "Trust me, she's excited." Luan spoke before opening the door. She took out her unicycle and sat on its seat. "See ya later alligators!"

Lincoln wasn't sure if it was a good idea for Luan to be riding a small unicycle down a set of stairs. Apparently, he was proven right as the trio heard Luan screaming, followed the sound of several props falling to the ground. Lucy let out a short "hah" before closing the door behind her.

Seeing the pattern, Lincoln kept his eyes on the stairs incase someone else came down. Lily once again became enamored by the show, giving a happy sigh as she rested against Lincoln's chest. Small footsteps were heard on the stairs, and just as Lincoln suspected, Lisa was coming down.

"Let me guess, you're going out too?"

"Negative. I just need an uptake on sodium bicarbonate." Lisa replied before walking to the kitchen.

The door of the master bedroom opened, making Lincoln glance behind him. Lynn Sr. walked past the couch in his typical day wear, but this time he had a toolbelt strapped on along with an orange hard hat. "Hey sport, I'm gonna be outside for a while. That roof won't shingle itself!" The father chuckled before heading outside.

"I hope that doesn't end with dad getting stuck in the roof again." Lincoln thought aloud.

"I would've suggested contacting the proper construction authority, but I believe that advice would fall on deaf ears." Lisa spoke, taking a sip of cola as she walked out the dining room. She glanced at the TV, frowning in disgust at the childish show. "I fail to understand how a show like this actually teaches infant humans anything meaningful. For the most part, it's just fictional characters dancing all over the screen to keep easily distracted persons happy."

Lincoln shrugged. "Well, Lily is just a baby. It's not like she can understand much."

"Yes, but I have toyed with the idea of making a serum that would increase Lily's IQ at a relatively quick pace."

The middle child frowned. "I think I like Lily the way she is. Plus, weren't you forbidden from doing any experiments on her?"

"That is true." Lisa tapped her chin. "One of my experiments is also the reason why her fecal matter is the equivalent of a land fill in terms of smell."

Lincoln folded his arms. "So _that's_ why she stinks a lot. Thanks Lisa..."

The prodigy shrugged off the sarcasm. "Eh. I'm only human." She walked back up the stairs.

Lincoln shook his head at his retreating sister. Smart as Lisa was, she doesn't have a good understand of right and wrong yet. Looking down at Lily, Lincoln felt he was lucky that he had a somewhat normal sister. Aside from her extremely rank diapers, Lily was just that: your average 15 month old. He couldn't imagine if she was like Lisa, doing math equations at the age of 1, performing crazy experiments, trying to steal one of his kidneys in his sleep. The boy visibly shook just thinking about it, as that last part actually happened once.

As the show ended, Lily glanced around the room. She didn't see any of her toys on the floor, and some of things that were around didn't look too fun to play with. Then, she spotted a small, white colored object in the shape of a box. It looked a bit familiar, like she had used it before. A random memory came to the front of her mind, involving colorful pictures and fast button movement. The infant moved on Lincoln's lap, wanting to be let down. The boy didn't question it, and set the baby on the floor. Lincoln watched her walk up to his game system, poking it and moving it around.

 _"Lily's actually interested in video games?"_ That single sentence ran through his head. Upon seeing the baby pick up a controller, Lincoln's heart started to swell. It was one thing to try and convince her to get into gaming, but the fact she was doing it on her own was almost enough to make him cry. Perhaps they did have more in common than what lied at the surface.

But in order for Lily to truly become a master of gaming, she needed a teacher. And first rule of thumb: _controllers are not for eating_.

Lincoln got off the couch and knelt next to Lily. "Wanna play a game Lily?"

"Yesh!" Lily spoke with half a controller sticking out her mouth.

"Ok. But first, you can't eat the controller." The boy gently pulled it out of her mouth, frowning in disgust at how much slobber was on it. "I'm gonna have to clean this..."

Lincoln went to the kitchen with the controller. When he was out of sight, Lily refocused her attention at the game device. She wondered how to turn it on, poking various buttons that stuck out of it. The little Wii didn't respond to anything, and Lily's patience was starting to run its course. In frustration, she bopped a button on the lower left side of the disk opening. To her delight, the console made a small sound as it booted up.

Lincoln came back with the now clean controller. He moved his hand to activate the console, only to find it already running. "Heh. Guess someone's a fast learner." He handed the controller to Lily before grabbing the remote. Switching the channel to 'Video 1', Lily was amazed at all the little screens that were on display in the Wii's menu.

"Oooooo..." Lily walked to the TV, touching the little screens in an attempt to open them.

Lincoln couldn't help but laugh. "Lily, you gotta use _this,"_ He shook his controller, "To work the console. Like so." He moved the joystick with his thumb and pressed a button to select a game that was already in the system. It was a racing game based on a certain red plumber and his friends (and enemies). "I figured we'd start with a racing game since it's easy to get used to everything."

"Ahh." Lily staggered back to her controller, grabbing it and running to sit next to Lincoln.

"Ok so, racing is pretty easy. All you gotta do is go around a track 3 times and come in first place. You can also use power-ups to slow other people down and gain the lead. The hard part, is remembering what each power-up does and remembering how the tracks work. But I'm sure you'll get it in time." The boy smiled at his sister.

* * *

To start them off, he set the game to beginner and picked a track that was essentially a rendition of the Indy 500 with kid-like appeal. Really easy for Lincoln, but somewhat hard for Lily. If it wasn't an issue with the buttons, she was constantly getting distracted by the scenery. However, in the span of 15 minutes, she was getting better. The infant even managed to use a red shell on her brother. Feeling she was ready, Lincoln introduced the bots to their game. Surprisingly, Lily adapted rather quickly and started using power items as soon as the dice roll stopped.

Some time after they started playing, Lincoln started to wonder if Lisa rubbed off on Lily. Or that mom had some weird defect in which the last born Louds had higher intelligence than expected. Not only was Lily crushing the competition, _she landed first place in almost every game_. Thinking beginner was getting too easy for her, Lincoln switched it up to Normal. Once again, Lily started to crush the bots and even Lincoln himself.

Glancing at his sister, he began to wonder how in the world a _baby_ of all things knew how to use a bomb in the most effective way possible; she planted them in tight turns and on ramps, forcing people to run into them and slow them down even further. In Lincoln's case, he was stuck in 5th place and the game so graciously kept giving him Bullet Bills to catch up. Yet, the closest bot was so far ahead he couldn't seem to catch up to the leads no matter how many times he used Bill as a speed boost.

Lincoln hated to admit it, but Lily was most likely a better gamer than he was. It might be due to him underestimating the baby, given she has had some genius moments beforehand. Or, Lily secretly had the IQ of a child six years older. Whatever the case, the middle child didn't let it bother him too much. He still enjoyed her company, and the fact they finally had something in common (and to compete over). If his other sisters accused him of making Lily into his 'mini-me' again, he had a clever retort up his sleeve.

Lily set the control down as she gave a yawn, rubbing her eyes in an attempt to keep herself wide awake. Lincoln glanced at the clock. It was almost 2, and Lily _always_ took a nap around that time. The 11 year old blinked hard, feeling a little tired himself. Playing a game for 3 hours straight will do that to you.

"Alright. Let's take a little break." Lincoln yawned a little, exiting the game. "And rest the eyes..."

Lily started to fall asleep as Lincoln picked her up. He felt a little too drained to take her upstairs, so he opted to lie down on the couch. Much like the previous night, Lincoln kept Lily situated on his chest as he fixed a pillow to his head. Lily snored softly, with Lincoln following her example within minutes. As the two Louds slept peacefully, the handle of the front door jiggled a bit before it was pushed open.

Rita gave a tired sigh as she carried 2 shopping bags in each hand. "Lincoln? Can you come and-OH!" The matriarch stopped upon noticing her son and baby sleeping in the living room. Covering her mouth, she hoped her shouting didn't awaken them. Fortunately, they were still sound asleep. Smiling, Rita went to the kitchen to set her bags down before heading back out to get the rest. However, right as she stepped off the porch, a piece of shingle hit her head.

"Sorry honey!" Lynn Sr. shouted.

The matriarch rubbed the sore spot on her skull before looking up at the roof. Her irritation grew into shock as she saw that her husband was stuck waste deep in a hole on the roof. "Lynn?! How did...how long have you been stuck up there?!"

"About 3 hours. I tried calling for help, but I don't think anyone could hear me. Usually Mr. Grouse would've said something by now. "Lynn chuckled nervously.

Rita pinched the bridge between her eyes before she gave a heavy sigh. "I'll go get the crowbar."

 **A/N: So in the next chapter, I'm going to give a bit more focus on the other siblings to look into their interesting dynamic. I hope I portrayed Lily as good as I could to someone of her age. She has limited vocabulary so I believe she can say more than just 'poo poo'. Plus, she doesn't have all other teeth yet so pronunciation is difficult, but still cute. Another thing to note, I suck at making Luan puns. I can't for the life of me make a bad pun without cringing.**


	3. A Study On Siblings

**A/N: It seems Lincoln and Lily are getting along just fine despite the massive age difference. They always say that babies are quite impressionable, but it's not like they're easy to handle. But, enough about those two. While they are still the main focus, let's see how the other girls are doing when it comes to their new roommates.**

 **Disclaimer: I own NOTHING from the Loud House.**

"So, Leni, what do you think? This one, or _this_ one?" Lynn asked the fashionista while holding up two different jerseys. One was the same color as the one Lynn wore every day, but with a more flashy Roman numeral and lengthened sleeves; the other was colored completely black with white, horizontal stripes on the sleeves and waste line.

Leni examined each shirt with a critical eye, taking in as much detail as she could. She pulled out a hanging piece of string from the black jersey, noting how easy the lining appeared to have come loose. Giving a small hum, she calmly took the black jersey from her sister. "Red is totes more your color. And," The blonde dug into her purse, pulling out a maroon colored set of shorts that held the same number design as the red jersey. "I found the perfect set of shorts to go with it."

"Oh, sweet!" Lynn grabbed it from her sister to examine it.

"Then, we could go shoe shopping! Now, do you prefer track shoes or cleats?" Leni scratched her head.

The jock had a bright smile on her face. It wasn't every day that she could go shopping for sportswear with another of her siblings. Sure, almost every weekend Lynn and her sisters visited the mall; but they always ventured off towards their own separate stores and happened to run into each other by sheer convenience. At first, the 13 year old thought Lisa must've had a screw loose to think she would make a good roommate for a fashion obsessed girl like Leni. After all, Lynn was tomboyish and Leni was a girly girl. The jock originally thought Lana would make the best roommate considering how much they had in common, and it did work for a while; until Lana couldn't keep her reptiles in line. But, Lynn did see the positives with having her occasionally ditzy sister as a roommate.

"I'm so glad we're roomies now." Lynn folded the clothing before tucking it under her arm. "Lucy wouldn't have cared about any of this. In fact, she'd usually go over to Cold Subject or whatever just to gaze at dark and moody stuff."

"And I'm glad that someone actually likes my help." Leni replied cheerfuly, but then her smile curled into a frown. "Lori usually thinks she knows everything when it comes to picking out clothes..."

"Well," Lynn wrapped an arm around Leni's shoulder. "Just forget about her Leni. She's busy with a certain princess looking up girly stuff, and if she thinks hanging out with _Lola_ is better than being with you, then _she's_ the dumb one."

Both girls shared a laugh at this before heading to another part of the clothing store. Elsewhere in the mall, Lori Carol, and Lola were doing what the original pair sought out next: shoe shopping. If there was anything most people might guess about the Loud girls, it would be that they had a hard time deciding what type (or how many) shoes they should get. Half their closet space was probably dedicated to footwear. Either way, the trio had a specific purpose instead of just browsing and buying.

"Hey Lori, do you think these go well with my gown? Or are they too glittery?" Lola asked, lifting her dress slightly so she could see her high-heeled dress shoes.

"Depends." Lori stated, glancing away from the shelf she was sorting through. "Are you going to be doing anything that would make your shoes visible? I mean, your gown literally hides your feet all the time."

"Each pageant has a talent portion, so naturally, I have to dress for the part."

"Hmm..." Lori rubbed her chin. "Well, you have a dancing uniform with glitter on the skirt...I say go for it." She turned her attention back to the shelf. "Besides, it'll literally make you stand out among those other girls."

Lola's lips curled into a devious smirk. "I'm also certain Lindsey will freak out once the judges pick me as the winner again. She's always tried to dethrone the _queen_ , but she never comes close enough."

"Given your taste, I doubt she will." Lori snorted a little. "Mmmm...I need a new pair of shoes for my date with Bobby, but can't decide which of these will work..."

Lola sat on a bench as she took the shoes off. "Don't you have a ton of shoes in your closet? Also, didn't he move out of the state?"

"Yeah, but the ones I planned on using got blood all over them thanks to a certain little brother's friend..." Lori growled. "And, he's coming down to visit next week since it'll be spring break."

"Well, look at it this way sister." Lola put her shoes back in its box before crossing her legs. "If Bobby doesn't like you no matter how you dress, then that's his loss. Oh, and did he find that sweater you gave him?"

"He did." Lori picked out a single, turquoise colored flat-heel shoe. "And I understand what you mean Lola, but it wouldn't hurt to dress nice for my Boo-Boo-Bear, especially since we have talked in person in a few months. You'll understand it when you get a boyfriend of your own."

"Pfft, as if." Lola scoffed, making Lori shake her head in a knowing tone. "Still, you make a way better roommate than mudzilla and her constant need to have every single reptile on Earth. Did you know that she has a _rattlesnake?_ I don't know much about icky serpents, but I do know those things are dangerous."

"Well, that's Lana for you: always doing stuff that's going to bite her back eventually." Lori put the shoe back before grabbing another one. "I still wonder how Leni got paired up with _Lynn_ of all people." She closely examined the black colored laceless shoe and decided to try it on.

"You know that saying 'opposites attract'? Well maybe likes attract too, and in this case, it's their brains." Lola chuckled.

Lori stifled a laugh before breaking out into a fit of giggles with Lola following after she thought about it further. Leni could be as dumb as a box of rocks and Lynn had a bad habit of lacking common sense, such as trying to play football in the van. Being so caught up in their laugh fest, they didn't notice Carol running towards them with a bag in her arms. She stopped a few feet from them, raising an eyebrow at the two Louds. "Uh, what's so funny?"

"Nothing, nothing. Just sister stuff." Lori replied, taking a deep breath to even out her breathing.

"Well, if you're done, there's a sale happening in the store across from this one. Everything is 60% off!"

Both Louds squealed in joy before quickly packing up whatever shoes they were planning to purchase.

* * *

The ride back home was filled with enjoyment after a good shopping spree. All 5 girls were chatting amongst each other about their newfound purchases as well as discussing what they could get during their next visit. Notably though, the 4 Louds were mostly talking to their respective roommates with Carol giving her own input as she drove. Lori and Leni would occasionally make eye contact, giving a smug grin about how each teen perceived their current roommate to be better than the former.

Once they arrived at the house, they were met with an odd sight. On the roof, Rita was trying to pry Lynn Sr. out of a hole with a prybar. She tried using a crowbar, but it didn't work too well; particularly since Lynn wouldn't stop screaming every time Rita tried to loosen him up. A small trampoline with pillows was set up on the front lawn in case he fell off.

"You guys ok up there?!" Lori shouted as she stepped out.

"We're fine sweetie. Just..." Rita pulled the bar towards her. Lynn felt himself inching out of the hole with each tug. "One..." She pulled again. "Moooore-" Rita's face turned red as her arm muscles strained to pry her husband out of the roof. Surprisingly, instead of popping out of the hole, part of the roof that Rita was pushing on had collapsed inward, causing to the patriarch to fall into the attic. Rita gave a panicked stare as she peered into the hole.

 _THUD! KSSH!_

Everyone winced as they heard Lynn Sr. hit something hard.

"I'm ok!" He shouted. "The box of Christmas ornaments broke my fall..."

"Ooooh...you're gonna need some ice for that dear..." The matriarch said in an apologetic tone.

Lori turned back to Carol, who was peeking out the front passenger window. "See ya at school tomorrow."

"See ya Lori." Carol replied before driving off.

Lincoln was snoring on the couch when he heard a loud noise come from upstairs. The sudden thumping shocked him awake, his upper body springing upright within a second. The middle child held his baby sister in a protective manner as he looked around frantically before glancing up at the ceiling. Lily moaned a little due to the sudden movement disrupting her nap.

Lincoln glanced down at his sister. "Sorry to wake you Lily." Hearing the door open, he turned his head to see some of his sisters entering. "Did you guys hear that loud noise just now?"

"Yeah. Dad got stuck in the roof and fell into the attic." Lynn replied before racing upstairs. Lily and Lincoln glanced at one another before the boy decided to check on his dad.

Lincoln set Lily down on the floor before jogging up the steps. The other 3 girls followed, opting to put their bags away first before helping dad. The middle child pulled the steps to the attic down before climbing them, and almost immediately he spotted his father getting off a box full of christmas tree decorations.

"You ok dad?"

"Yeah yeah, I'm fine sport." Lynn Sr. replied as he dusted himself off. The man felt something running down his cheek, and put a finger to it. Lynn cringed a little after seeing the red stain that was left on his digits. "A little cut up, but it takes more than that to bring down your old man." He smirked proudly, before he happened to glance a few feet to his left, spotting a fake skeleton that had cob webs on it. Whatever masculinity the patriarch had disappeared as he let out a girlish scream, jumping backwards onto another box.

Lincoln deadpanned a little, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. "I'll get the band-aids..." The boy turned and climbed down the ladder.

* * *

After making sure their father was ok, and with Rita applying ointment to his face after picking out a few shards of broken ornament, the kids went back to doing their usual activities. Luna and Lana arrived home shortly after Lynn Sr. had been bandaged up, chatting heartedly about the jam session they had. Turns out the rest of Luna's friends liked the random sounds Lana had added into their music, to the point they were working on incorporating them into their next song.

Luan and Lucy returned a few minutes after them. The comedian was still dressed in her mime outfit whilst Lucy was more or less in her usual getup; she also carried a Styrofoam box that contained some leftover birthday cake. From what Lincoln heard, Luan was considering replacing him in favor of Lucy if she could keep herself from scaring everyone. The middle child wasn't too concerned about it, as he learned that comedy isn't easy after his last stint as Luan's assistant. He was going to miss the treat of getting leftover birthday cake as an added bonus however.

As the evening hours approached, the kids gathered at the TV to watch another episode of Dessert Storm. Due to dad's aforementioned injuries, Rita decided to order pizza for dinner. The amazing array of treats on the screen fueled their appetites even further, with Lola openly stating she wished she could make a few of them. It wouldn't be surprising if they jumped at the door the moment they heard the shoddy doorbell scare off yet another pizza man.

As the siblings had been talking among each other, Lisa was silently scribbling onto her notepad.

 _Day 1 of new roommate accommodations._

 _It appears my siblings have adapted quite well to their new living arrangements. It shouldn't be surprising considering that I had accurately theorized the correct pairs based on intelligence, personality, and habits. Leni and Lynn, despite being an odd pair of what some would call a 'girly girl' and 'tomboy', seem to have found their niche with each other quite easily._

Lisa glances at Lynn, taking note of the noticeable differences in her clothing.

 _Leni even appears to have Lynn interested in fashion to a degree, despite it still being related to the realm of contact sports._

Lisa looks to her left as she continues to write.

 _Luan and Lucy are getting along quite nicely, given their likeness to particular forms of art and even theatre. I have even noticed Luan actually helping our emotionally depraved sibling with her poems, a task that usually falls to Lincoln. Speaking of my only male sibling..._

Lisa shifted her attention to her brother, who was on the floor with Lily in his lap. The infant looked rather comfortable in her position, occasionally reaching towards the TV if she saw something she liked. The child genius paused her writing, tapping her chin with the pen in thought.

 _Interesting...it seems my elder brother has reversed his position on the new arrangements. I was almost certain he would want to have everyone switch back to their previous dormatories, but it appears nothing came of it. In fact, Lincoln didn't mention it once this morning. However, even if he did, I doubt my other siblings would want to switch back for his sake. In particular, I've noticed that former roommates would show acts of aggression to each other [thankfully, not to the point of physical confrontation]. They would spend more time talking with their new roommates while harboring some resentment towards the former._

Lisa glanced around the couch, noticing the communication that was going on around her. She spotted Lola and Lana exchange a look, with Lola giving a small raspberry and Lana pulling one of her eyelids down while doing the same. Nothing out of the ordinary there. The 4 year old then noticed Lynn give a small glance at Lucy before turning away as the goth felt someone staring at her. Out of the corner of her eye, Lisa could see Luan and Luna were pretending as if the other didn't exist despite being within each other's field of view. She couldn't help but shake her head at the lengths they were taking to ignore one another. Tapping the pen on the paper, she continued writing.

 _But because Lincoln has not cohabitated with another sibling for some time, it would make sense that he would be against the idea of sharing a dorm. However, even with their commonalities being at only 17%, my infant sibling and elder brother appear to have grown quite accustomed with each other. Given that extremely young humans are quite impressionable, it wouldn't be surprising if Lily grew to like the same hobbies Lincoln does out of prolonged contact. I did catch them playing a game on the TV a few hours ago after all. I just hope that Lincoln doesn't try to mold Lily into his protege like_ last _time._

Lily gave a happy squeal as she climbed out of Lincoln's lap, crawling to the TV. Looking up, Lisa saw what was possibly one of the largest chocolate cakes she'd ever laid eyes on. A quick inspection told her it was at least 7 feet in height, and 5 feet in width. Her mouth started to drool a bit as her stomach growled, and it seemed the rest of the kids shared her sentiments.

Lincoln broke out of his stupor once he saw Lily licking the screen. "Lily." He spoke in stifled laughter. He shuffled over to the infant on his knees, picking her up by the waist. "I want to eat that too, but you can't eat the TV."

"Wanna bet?" Lana asked.

Before anyone could refute that claim, the sound of the doorbell ringing got their attention. This was immediately followed by an electrical shortage that shocked the user on the other side of the door, which was then followed by a scream and rapidly retreating footsteps.

"Guess that was a _shocking_ delivery." Luan gave her signature laugh while everyone else groaned.

As Lori made her way to the door, Lisa hastened her writing.

 _It is without question that Lincoln and Lily will be the most interesting duo of this experiment, to see how two barely compatible persons interact with one another on a daily basis. As for me, I have grown quite fond of the isolation. Lincoln's former quarters, although small, provide me with just enough room to perform my usual pastime without fear of causing harm to our infant sister. And, it seems the walls of the room have sufficient insulation to block out the distractions of my other siblings unlike my former room. It's no wonder Lincoln preferred to stay in his room most of the time._

"Yo Lisa, you gonna join us?" Luna suddenly asked.

Lisa looked up from her notepad to see that she was the only one on the couch. Her stomach growled again.

 _Will continue to study this matter further. For now, I require Raffaele Esposito's pie. Street name: pizza._

Leaving the notepad on the seat, the 4 year old rushed to the dining room.

Having pizza was a joyous occasion in the Loud House, as it was the one food everyone could agree on when it came to dinner. 12 boxes were spread out over the table, each one containing a single topping or a mix. With so many people living in the house, it was natural that quite a few would have their own preference when it came to toppings. Lori liked eating pineapples on her pizza while Luna liked onions and green peppers with hers. Like her constant need to eat meatball subs, Lynn Jr.'s preferred topping was sausage, and Lucy took a liking to black olives. Lana liked having bacon with extra cheese on her pizza, whilist Lisa and Leni shared a common interest of having mushrooms as their preferred topping. As for Lincoln, Lily, Lola, and the parents, they preferred classic pepperoni.

Like this morning, Lincoln was in charge of feeding Lily her pizza. To be fair, the baby could eat on her own just fine when it came to pizza; Rita just wanted to make sure she didn't cause another mess. Using a fork, Lincoln cut a slice into small pieces for his sister.

"Here comes the airplane!" The boy cheered, making fake aircraft noises as he guided the food in the air before moving it to Lily's mouth. The baby bounced in her chair as she held her mouth open, closing it once the small piece touched her tongue. Lincoln waited for her to swallow her food, repeating the process again once Lily opened her mouth.

However, right as he was about to put another piece into her mouth, Lincoln flinched as a black olive hit his cheek. The food dropped onto Lily's tray table, the infant grabbing it before stuffing it in her mouth.

"Guess the plane made a crash landing." Luan joked, causing everyone else to chuckle a bit. Like Lucy, Luan also liked black olives on her pizza, along with green peppers.

Lincoln gave a half-glare at his older sister before stuffing his face with pizza. One of the pepperonis fell off while he was eating, a little bit of cheese going with it. It took a second of looking between the fallen food item and Luan before an idea hatched.

Giving a small grin, "Hey Lily, watch this." Lincoln whispered, picking up the small food topping. Pulling back on the cheese, the boy aimed the pepperoni as if he was using a slingshot. Luan was lazily looking around while eating, he cheeks puffed out as she chewed. Within seconds, her left eye immediately shut as a pizza topping hit it.

"Oh hey, Popeye. Fancy seeing you here." Lincoln retorted, giving a smug grin. Lily's laughter echoed around the room, making a few glance at Luan. Lana had to stop eating or else she'd choke on her food, though Lynn was a little late; she coughed a bit due to water going down the wrong pipe.

"Kids, please don't start another food fight. I do not want to spend an hour cleaning the dining room again." Lynn Sr. ordered.

Luan furrowed her brows as she picked the pepperoni off her face, grabbing a napkin shortly after. "Don't worry dad. I just know that Linky is hankering for a prank later." The comedian grinned evilly at her brother whilst wiping her eye clean.

Lincoln's pupils shrank a little as he realized his mistake. He knew Luan tended to go a little overboard when it came to revenge pranks. Normally, one would expect a pale of water over the door for something small. But in the case of Luan, let's just say it was better to not pull a prank on the Queen herself. Case in point, the one time Lynn wrote loser on Luan's forehead after the jock won a board game, she found herself catapulted into the ceiling by vanzilla's airbags being triggered the moment she sat on her bed. Lincoln could only shudder as he thought of what Luan might have in store for him.

This didn't go unnoticed by Lily, who took a few seconds looking between her brother and her comedian of a sister. It didn't take much for the infant to put two and two together, and she wasn't too pleased about Luan making Linky upset. With her brows knitted together, Lily stood up in her seat as she prepared to attack her 'meanie' of a sister. Right as Luan reached for another slice, her vision was blocked completely as a diaper nailed her square in the face.

There was some good news and bad news about being nailed in the face by a baby's undies. The good news, there wasn't any poop in Lily's diaper. Unfortunately...that didn't mean there wasn't _something_ in it...

At that point, the girls lost it. Luna fell over in her chair as tears escaped her eyes, Lori covered her mouth in a feign attempt to suppress her laughter, Lynn was banging the table in fits of giggles, Lola and Lana already fell to the floor in hysterics, Leni laughed so hard that she wound up squirting her drink out of her nose, and Lisa and Lucy gave toothy smiles. The entire time, Luan was stock still; she silently screamed as the scent of urine flooded her nostrils. As for Lincoln, he just sat there with his mouth agape and his eyes the size of his dinner plate.

 _"Once again, I am proven correct"._ The child prodigy thought to herself.

"Lily!" Rita cast a look of disappointment at her baby. The now naked infant only clapped happily in response as she sat back in her chair. Finally, Luan managed to get over the shock and removed the diaper from her face. The comedian frantically spat out some spit and wiped her tongue with a napkin, making the girls laugh harder. Rita gave a low sigh. "Luan, go clean your face." She turned to her son. "Lincoln, can you please put Lily in another diaper?"

Lincoln blinked as he registered his mother's words. "O-Ok."

"Make sure she doesn't make you a diaper face." Lola snorted.

Lynn Sr. chuckled a bit, earning a disapproving look from his wife. "What? It was a good one."

Luan didn't need to be told twice and immediately rushed to the bathroom, resisting the urge to puke. Lincoln grabbed Lily from her high chair and walked up the stairs. Once he reached their room, he set her down on the changing table. The middle child let out a small chortle as he grabbed a fresh diaper from the cabinet. "Ok Lily, that was funny. But you shouldn't throw your diapers at anyone. It's rude, and disgusting." He lifted the baby's legs and slid the diaper underneath. "You did throw them at me a couple times, you know."

"Oooan menie pa Incon." Lily replied.

"Wait..." He paused right as he finished fastening the diaper closed. "You threw it at her, because she was going prank me?"

Lily gave a chirpy 'ya' before sitting up. She hugged Lincoln's face before giving intent on wanting to be put on the floor. Lincoln set her down and watched as the youngest Loud crawled over to a few of her toys. The middle child watched her play as he thought over what Lily had did. It was very surprising that a _baby_ of all people would come to his defense. Most of the time, if Luan wanted to prank someone, there was little anyone could do to stop her. Asking other sisters for help was out of the question, as they didn't want to become collateral. Even more so, occasionally they'd laugh with her if someone did get caught in one of her traps.

However, Lincoln somehow doubted Luan would want to risk having another diaper thrown at her, especially if Lily recently made a stinky in it. Lincoln snorted as he remembered his parents once telling him how Luan shot several dirty diapers at them when they tried to take cover in Lisa's bunker during one April Fools. Ironic how she got a taste of her own medicine by the very infant that made them.

Once dinner was finished, the Louds spent the next couple of hours doing whatever activities suited their interests until it was time for bed. Luan had thoroughly cleaned her face and washed her mouth to the point her braces were literally shining. This came with a couple of puns about 'being the light in their lives' and 'stealing the spotlight', though the other siblings were quick to make some not-so-subtle toilet jokes just to get her to stop. The 14 year old was rather miffed about this, as Lincoln heard her telling Lucy how Lily was lucky she was a baby; otherwise, he could only imagine the kind of horrors the comedian had in mind.

By 10 PM, the parents ordered lights out. Several flicks of light switches were heard throughout the second floor until it was completely silent; aside from the constant giggles coming from one of the shared bedrooms. Lincoln lied awake on his bed, giving a deadpanned stare at the ceiling as Lily continued to play around in her crib. He spoke with Clyde earlier about his day, proclaiming that being roommates with Lily wasn't all that bad. He was starting to think that he may have been wrong on that statement. The first night they had been roomies, she kept him awake for hours before finally falling asleep. Now, it was worse since it was a school night.

 _"Dang it Lily...w_ _hy can't you just fall asleep like everyone else?..."_ A groan escaped the boy as his mind monologued. The Sandman was calling for him, yet his sister's laughter was preventing him from listening. Lincoln pulled on the bottom of his eyelids in frustration. "If she doesn't fall asleep soon, I'm gonna wind up sleeping in class..."

He glanced over to his sister, who was fiddling with her teething ring. The 11 year old gazed upward to the baby lullaby device that hung up on the ceiling. His eyes narrowed for a few seconds before springing wide open as an idea formed in his mind. Swinging his feet over the side, Lincoln got up and walked to the bookcase.

"Let's see..." He knelt down and dragged his finger along the back covers. " _Chemistry for Dummies, Quantum Physics, Theory of Relativity, How to Sing to Hip-Hop?_...I should get Lisa to come get these." The boy skimmed over the science related books before stopping on one. "Ah, here we go." He pulled it out and gazed at the title. The book was called _Goodnight Moon_ by Margaret Wise Brown. Lincoln hadn't seen this book in years, but he faintly remembered that his mom and older sisters would occasionally read it to him to help him sleep when he was Lily's age.

"Lily." Lincoln spoke in a hushed tone, getting the baby's attention. "Wanna read a bedtime story?"

The infant sat up, giving what Lincoln assumed was a yes. Smiling, he tucked the book under his arm and walked over to the desk chair. He situated it in front of the window as he intended to use the moon as a light source; he didn't want to use the lamp as it might defeat the purpose of trying to induce sleep. Finally, Lincoln lifted his baby sister from her crib before sitting down, settling her in his lap. He propped the book open in front of them, noting how each page had only a few words and a large picture to accompany them. These days, baby books like this would bore him to death, but Lincoln knew Lily would love it. The boy cleared his throat before reading aloud, flipping the page after each line was read.

 _In the great green room_

 _There was a telephone_

 _And a red balloon_

 _And a picture of the cow jumping over the moon_

Lily was sucking on her thumb, leaning forward a bit at peak interest.

 _And there were three little bears sitting on chairs_

 _And two little kittens_

 _And a pair of mittens_

 _And a little toy house_

 _And a young mouse_

The infant patted the mouse picture, giving a small laugh.

 _And a comb and a brush and a bowl full of mush_

 _And a quiet old lady who was whispering "hush"_

 _Goodnight room_

 _Goodnight moon_

 _Goodnight cow jumping over the moon_

 _G_ _oodnight light_

 _And the red balloon_

As Lincoln kept reading, Lily leaned back into her brother's chest as she started to feel tired herself. The baby let her thumb fall out of her mouth as a yawn escaped her.

 _Goodnight bears_

 _Goodnight chairs_

 _Goodnight kittens_

 _And goodnight mittens_

 _Goodnight clocks_

 _And goodnight socks_

 _Goodnight little house_

 _A_ _nd goodnight mouse_

 _Goodnight comb_

 _And goodnight brush_

 _Goodnight nobody_

 _Goodnight mush-_

Lincoln stopped once he heard a light snore coming from the infant. Looking down, the baby had shifted into a comfortable position as she answered the Sandman's call. Lincoln couldn't help but smile at how peaceful Lily looked as she curled up a bit. Closing the book and setting it on the desk, Lincoln carried his sleeping sister back to her crib and gently placed her inside. He then pulled her blanket over her and lightly kissing her forehead.

"Goodnight Lily." He cooed before heading off to bed himself.

 **A/N: And as we can see, the girls have warmed up greatly to their new roommates while holding onto grudges with their old ones. And it also appears that Lily doesn't like it when someone messes with Lincoln, so if you are wise, you won't do anything when she's around; unless you want to eat a messy diaper to the face. Next time, we'll see how the baby Loud handles being in daycare.**


	4. Happy Moment, Bad Moment

**A/N: Lincoln sure knows how to deal with his baby sister, doesn't he? And it seems Lily has grown quite fond of him as well, what with throwing a soiled diaper at Luan just for threatening to prank him. Sadly though, the two roommates will need to spend some time apart to uphold their academic quotas. There have been few stories with Lily being in daycare, so hopefully I do a decent job at this.**

 **Disclaimer: I own NOTHING from the Loud House.**

Mondays are always the first day of a school week for those old enough to attend the learning facilities, and Lily was no exception. She wasn't at grade school though; she was actually at the Shuttleworth Daycare Academy, the same place that her parents had been waiting to get one of their children into for 17 years. The day they got the news that Lily had been accepted sent waves of enjoyment to wash over Rita and Lynn Sr. However, Lily also remembered that was the same day her parents chewed out her older siblings for swearing around her.

What was confusing to the infant was how she remembered the times her parents used what were known as 'bad words' when she was within earshot. Like the siblings, they weren't aware of Lily's presence until she made herself known. What made that day even more hilarious was how Lily was able to communicate to her brother and sisters that the parents were just as guilty as they were. The baby giggled at that memory; the faces her siblings made as they called their parents hypocrites was a sight to behold.

Currently, Lily was dressed in a small light purple shirt with blue shorts as she sat with a group of other infants in front of a TV watching Blarney the Dinosaur. Said children were being carefully watched over by at least 5 adults. However, once the clock struck 12:30, a woman grabbed their attention.

"Ok kids, sorry to interrupt your TV time, but now we're going to let your creative sides flow!" The lady spoke in a cheerful voice. "So, whose up for some play time?"

The kids cheered as the supervisor turned the TV off. It was highly important that the kids were happy first before you decided to cut into their TV programs. Otherwise, you'd have a ton of crying babies to deal with. As the kids began to disperse around the room, Lily staggered over to her favorite section: the art corner. The littlest Loud had been in daycare for nearly two months, and her day usually went like this: play, sleep, TV, more play time, more sleep, and probably still napping when one of her parents came for her. On some days, play time would be replaced by learning basic shapes or patterns; sometimes simple math like adding and subtracting was thrown in as well.

Lily wouldn't lie to herself if asked whether it was hard adjusting to not being at home all day. Before then, she'd be at the house being watched over by a hired sitter or by 'old meany pants' (Mr. Grouse). She whined for much of the day just by going into a large, intimidating building, then being surrounded by total strangers. Naturally, the teachers and caretakers were well prepared and made it easier for the infant to adjust by simply keeping her distracted.

While the expectations for Lily had changed since the kids explained everything to her, Dr. Shuttleworth was still confident that Lily was quite knowledgeable for her age. And the director wasn't disappointed in the slightest when the infant finally attended. Lily couldn't play instruments or solve complex math problems like a certain Loud sibling, but teachers had noticed she could draw quite well for a baby. And, more than once they noticed how she was able to work a complex device like a tablet without trying to eat it first.

Anyway, Lily grabbed some paper and crayons before putting said paper on a hard section of floor. She glanced at the crayons in her hand, taking a moment to lick the top of one. The baby immediately frowned in disgust, wiping her tongue off with her hand.

"Wayon, yuk." She spoke to herself. It was no wonder one of the caretakers stopped her from trying to put it in her mouth that one time. Lily then stared at the paper, wondering what she should draw today. She scratched at the top of her head in puzzled thought, inadvertently making a few colored lines on her hair. She usually drew some flowers or even a car that once looked like Vanzilla, even adding in stick figures of her family, but that wasn't coming to her today.

The infant turned her thoughts to her new roommate. So far, Lincoln had been more fun than Lisa ever was. Not that Lily wanted to discredit Lisa, but she was usually too busy making a mess of the room with her noisy explosions to play with her. Sure, there were a few times where the two would play Mad Scientist, though it seemed her older siblings didn't like it and would scold Lisa for trying to use Lily for her experiments. Plus, there were times Lisa felt more like a doctor than a sister with her being in front of those funny screens all the time, taking samples of poo-poo from their siblings, and her unemotional overtone, among other things. In short, Lisa was just boring at times.

Lincoln on the other hand, was different. While he was sometimes distracted by their other siblings, he still made time for her if she wasn't being handled by another sister. Outside of the moments where Lincoln would get stuck with changing Lily's diaper, their interactions were limited, but fun. The baby couldn't forget the times her big brother took care of her while everyone else went to visit Aunt Ruth, or when he took her and a few of their other sisters to the mall; she got a real kick out of that train ride. When she found out Lincoln was going to be staying with her, Lily felt as if she just won the lottery. She was so full of energy that day, she stayed up well past her bed time trying to play with Lincoln until she eventually tired herself out.

Lily frowned a little. The infant Loud felt a little guilty that she might've kept her big brother awake longer than he wanted to. She certainly didn't like it when someone kept her awake when she wanted to sleep. And unlike Lily, Lincoln had more responsibilities to deal with, including watching over her. However, that frown was turned upside down as a thought came forward. Maybe if she drew a nice picture for Linky, he could be happy. Lily giggled as she figured out what to paint on the sheet. Sticking her tongue out, the baby went to work on making the most beautiful drawing she could make.

* * *

Lincoln whistled to himself as he walked down his street towards the house. School was pretty bland like usual for a Monday, though he had an interesting conversation with his friends about the room changes at his house. Clyde spread the word to the rest of their social circle, and they felt bad for the poor boy for having to sleep with the baby. However, Lincoln told them that he was warming up to the idea of having Lily as a roommate, and it wasn't as bad as he originally thought. He even told them that he managed to teach Lily how to play a video game without being interrupted by his other sisters.

There was one thing that would still be an issue though: the smell of rotten diapers. Lincoln stopped his whistling once he caught sight of his house. Looking up at the second story window where his new room was, "I gotta remember to buy some air fresheners, or ask Lisa how she got used to it." A chill went down his spine as he could swear his nose hairs died every time he caught a whiff of Lily's mess.

Stepping up to the front door, Lincoln dug under the welcome mat for the house key. Yes, the Louds were finally learning to lock the doors from now on, though there have been times they still left the front door unlocked. The sole Loud boy raised an eyebrow as he heard a faint ringing just beyond the wood and metal. Opening the door, the house was still empty aside from the pets. Lincoln looked towards the house phone mounted on the wall in the living room before walking up to it.

Once he recognized the number, Lincoln took it off the receiver. "Hello?"

"Hey Lincoln, is anyone else home right now?" Rita asked.

"No, I just got here." He started counting on his fingers. "I know Lucy has her poetry group today, Lola is practicing for a pageant, Lisa is going to the community college after school for something, and Lana is being..."

"Lana?"

"In the mud or garbage diving, yeah."

"Alright then. I know you probably don't feel like going back out again but I need you to do a big favor for me sweetie."

Lincoln put a fist on his waist. "Ooookay, what is it?"

"Can you go grab Lily from daycare? I'd do it myself but I'm kinda stuck hands deep in caramel apple incidents, and your father is working late at the restaurant today. Plus, I know Lori and the others haven't been let out of school yet."

Lincoln glanced upwards as he thought about how long it would take to reach the daycare. He could take his bike there since it wasn't too far away to necessitate the need for a car, but cars did make the trip much quicker and easier. It would take him roughly 20 or so minutes to reach the place, give or take.

The boy made a salute. "Don't worry mom. I'm on the case!"

"Thanks, _Ace._ " Rita giggled. "Let me know when you make it back. Love you."

"Love you too, mom." With that, Lincoln set the phone back on its receiver. "Well, so much for getting a head start on homework. At least I don't have much to do today." The boy muttered to himself as he set his bag down before heading upstairs. Once Lincoln reached his and Lily's room, the 11 year old grabbed a baby harness so he could carry Lily on his way back as well as a small helmet to protect her.

Heading outside, Lincoln opened the garage and looked around. The place was still pretty clean after Lori's attempt at living on her own. The Louds even left the bathroom intact since it would've been a waste of time and resources dismantling it. Some boxes were neatly stacked in a corner with all the power tools up for display on their racks. Sitting on the floor next to a shelf was a line of various cycles parked next to each other. This included Lynn's, Lana's, and Lincoln's bikes, Lucy's scooter, and Luan's unicycle. In normal circumstances, Lola would've put her go-kart in there as well, but she preferred to keep it in her room.

One may wonder how Lincoln got himself a new bike after giving his previous one to Lana. Back during the time he had submitted his own fan-made Ace Savvy comic, the creator of the series had published it, gaining a decent amount of popularity. It was divisive though, as some felt the use of other characters to act as those of the mainstay series was a turn off. However, it was still likable enough that,a few weeks after it was published, Lincoln got roughly 30% of the earnings; which he then used to get a new bike.

Putting on his helmet, Lincoln peddled his way towards the daycare academy. It took him a little longer than he would've thought just to dodge the afternoon traffic; and once Lincoln finally saw the facility in sight, the boy was tired, slightly red in the face due to the exercise, and his legs felt like jelly.

"Hope...mom...pays me back, for this..." Lincoln panted as he stepped off his bike, using it as leverage for a few minutes as his calves and thighs throbbed from exhaustion.

Once he regained his breath, Lincoln chained his bike to a nearby rack and sauntered inside. Walking up to the reception desk, "Hi. I'm looking for my sister, Lily Loud?"

The administrator opened up the school's database and typed in the aforementioned name. "She's in Room 107."

"Thank you." Lincoln nodded before heading down the hall.

When he reached the room and opened the door, it almost looked like a reminiscent of what his home life was like. Toddlers and perhaps slightly younger babies were running to and fro with toys, letting their imaginations run wild, and just general horseplay. All the while, the adults in the room were trying (and failing) to keep them in order. The Loud boy gave a small chortle; that's exactly how he felt when trying to keep his little sisters in line sometimes. Scanning the room, Lincoln frowned as he didn't see Lily among the rampaging kids. However, one short glance towards a corner in the room left him stunned.

Lily was sitting on a foot stool in the corner with her arms folded and giving a sour look at the playing children. Lincoln knew immediately why she was unhappy: she was put on time-out. As for why, he was going to find out.

Lincoln grabbed the shirt of the nearest adult. "Excuse me," The lady turned to him. "Why is my sister sitting in the corner?"

The adult raised a brow before looking over at Lily. The infant momentarily smiled at Lincoln before giving a mean look at the supervisor. "Oh. She hit another student when she wouldn't share her crayons, and Lily refused to listen when told she needed to share."

Lincoln was confused. "Did she have them first?"

"She did, but that's still no excuse to be violent."

"But, if she had the crayons first and was still using them, then wouldn't be unfair for her if she still needed them? What if the other person tried to take them anyway?"

The lady just gave a shrug. "Well, maybe she just needs to learn that others will want the same thing she's after, and it's easier to make friends if you learn to give. Either way, we are very stern about promoting cooperation, so acts like this can't go unpunished. I do wonder where she gets her attitude from." The lady gave a weary eye towards the boy.

Lincoln furrowed his brows at the supervisor, feeling that he was being judged. "I know what you're implying, and I know my sister wouldn't hit _anyone_ unless you give her a reason to." Lincoln brushed past the supervisor with a huff. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm taking my sister home."

"Incon!" Lily spoke as her brother walked up to her. She held a hand out as she grabbed the air in front of her before being lifted into Lincoln's arms. Lincoln also noticed she was holding onto a folded sheet of paper with her other hand.

Temporarily ignoring this, the chip-toothed boy smiled at the infant. "Hey Lily. How was your day?"

Lily formed another frown as she recounted what happened that led to her punishment. Lincoln got her shoes from the cubby hole and took her out of the room, but not before the baby blew a raspberry at the supervisor that punished her. While much of Lily's talk was coming out as incomprehensible babbling, Lincoln still had a good idea on what she was saying.

"So, you were drawing and someone walked up to ask for a color you were using. You said no, but they wanted it anyway, so they tried to take it from your hand. Then, you smacked them and they started crying, but you ignored them and finished your drawing. And that's when you got put on time-out during play time?"

Lily nodded.

"Well that wasn't fair." Lincoln sat down on a nearby bench in the hallway so he could fit Lily's shoes into her. "You told them no, and they didn't listen. It's not your fault if they wouldn't take no for an answer."

"Yesh." Lily agreed. The Loud boy tied her shoe laces before picking her up again.

"But..." Lincoln looked at Lily as he pushed the front doors open. Both squinted their eyes a little to get used to the brightness. "That doesn't mean you should hit someone. I mean, I think most of us Louds would if the person was being persistent; but you should still get a teacher if someone is giving you trouble, ok?"

Lily put a hand to her chin as she hummed in thought. If it meant she'd be able to do recess without any issues, then Lincoln had a point. "Kaay."

"By the way, what were you drawing?" Lincoln sat his sister on the ground as he undid the lock.

"Oh!" The baby unfolded her drawing. "Das."

Lincoln turned his head around and glanced at the drawing. It was a crude picture of what he assumed was himself and Lily in a field of flowers, given that the drawing of him was colored orange (like his shirt) and had his iconic turkey feathers on the head. Lily had herself colored purple with that little tuft of hair sticking up. For something made by a baby, it wasn't that bad. Sure, the body dimensions were way off and there was little facial detail aside from a simple smile and two dots for the eyes; same could be said for the background. But, Lily was just that: a baby. A smart one too.

Lincoln gave a warm smile. "Heh. Looks like someone is gonna grow up to be an artist." He rubbed the little hairs on Lily's head, who giggled in response. The 11 year old took out his phone to check the time. His mom wouldn't expect him to be home so soon, being that it would take whole hour going to and from the daycare. However, there were a few good places they could stop at for a snack. "Say, how about we go get an ice cream?"

Lily bounced on the spot at the mention of the dairy treat. Taking that as a yes, Lincoln strapped on the baby harness and sat Lily in the pouch on the front. Once he put her helmet on, he donned his own before pedaling down the street. Reaching the ice cream shop wasn't an issue since it was roughly halfway between the daycare and home; and it was much faster since they were going downhill.

Pulling up to the shop, Lincoln wasted no time in parking his bike and rushing inside to get their treats. As for what they would get, Lincoln decided on plain old vanilla; but to keep Lily happy (and so she doesn't become grumpy about daycare later), he got her vanilla with chocolate sprinkles. He wouldn't give her actual chocolate ice cream, as she'd be restless for hours before finally tiring herself out.

Once the two Louds got their treats, Lincoln sat down at one of the tables outside. The boy took Lily out of the pouch so she could sit on the table before handing her the bowl of ice cream. "Try not to make a mess with this one Lil." He smirked a little.

Lily didn't pay much attention as she started devouring her snack, getting her hands dirty as she scooped up bits of ice cream before placing it in her mouth.

Lincoln snorted a little. _"Leave it to Lily to eat like an animal. She probably gets it from Lana."_ The boy grabbed a few napkins out of a dispenser. "Alright Lily, slow down. You're getting ice cream all over your face." Lincoln started wiping her face clean, much to the baby's annoyance. Lily whined a little when he got a little too close to her eyes. "Hold still for a sec." He dabbed his finger on his tongue before rubbing out a small stain that had already started to dry up. "There we go." He smiled. Checking his phone, Lincoln saw they still had some time before they really needed to be at home.

Unfortunately, the Louds' happy outing was about to be cut short.

The screeching of wheels accompanied by a loud horn grabbed the kids attention. Turning towards the street, the Louds saw a car that appeared weaving in and out of traffic. Lincoln grew a little nervous. Royal Woods may have a severely low crime rate, but there was no shortage of crazy drivers _anywhere_ in America. Sometimes, Lincoln believed quite a few people drove worse than Leni, and the fact they managed to get a license made this even more harrowing. He watched the car carefully, hoping they wouldn't have to witness someone getting run over. What he didn't expect, was that _they_ were the ones who would have to avoid getting hit.

The situation escalated quickly when Lincoln spotted a lady on a motorized scooter crossing the road 70 ft in front of the car. The driver must've panicked because they made a sharp left to avoid hitting the old lady.

"Hey! I'm riding here!" Scoots yelled at the car.

Now, the car was heading directly towards the kids and the parlor. Lincoln's eyes widened as much as they could while Lily continued to stare in confusion. While Lily was just seeing one of those 4 wheels cars driving towards them, Lincoln saw impending death; they only had seconds to get out of the way or risk being flattened like roadkill. After giving a quick look at Lily, the boy's body went into autopilot as he grabbed the baby and ran to the side. Literally two seconds after he moved, their table was smashed into pieces along with countless others before they heard nothing but glass being shattered. Lincoln kept Lily huddled against his chest, protecting her from any pieces of flying metal and wood. The boy winced and cried out when a few heavy objects struck him in the back, but he didn't fall forward for fear of accidentally crushing his sister.

The noise of broken glass stopped as soon as it started, and all Lincoln heard now was the car horn blaring due to the collision, people screaming and wondering what exactly happened, and Lily's crying. Shakily, Lincoln looked down at his sister. Lily was unharmed, though no doubt scared and confused by all the noise. She wasn't alone on that end; all Lincoln wanted was to take her out for a nice treat, not suddenly play chicken with a 4 ton vehicle. As much as he wanted to cry right then and there, he couldn't. His sister took priority, and as such he began to soothe the infant.

"Shhhhh...d-don't worry Lily. E-Everything's gonna b-be fine..." The message wasn't as convincing due to Lincoln's shakey voice. He just sat there for a few minutes, gently rocking the infant until she was just giving low whimpers every now and then. Standing up on wobbling legs, Lincoln slowly made his way past the wreck. Some people asked if the two were ok, including the driver who had some cuts from the broken glass, but the shell shocked boy just ignored them all. Lincoln put Lily back in his harness and strapped her helmet on before doing his. Thankfully, the bike rack wasn't damage in the accident, so at least they still had a way to get home; hopefully on a route that was as far away from the streets as possible.

* * *

Lori sat on the couch, doing her daily texting session with Bobby. The TV was on, but it was just background noise to her. The rest of the sisters were scattered throughout the house doing their own activities, but Lincoln and Lily weren't present. Lori believed Lincoln should've been home already and called his phone twice, but he hadn't answered. Part of her was concerned about his whereabouts, while another figured he was just out hanging with his dorky friends and forgot to answer. Either way, Lincoln was going to be chewed out for not answering back when he got home.

The 17 year old glanced at the clock again. It was almost 5 now. "Lincoln better have a good excuse for not answering..."

The faint sound of footsteps from just beyond the front door got Lori's attention. The knob turned and a certain 11 year old and infant stepped in.

Lori furrowed her brows. "Lincoln, why weren't you answering my-" She paused upon noticing the state both kids were in. Lincoln was noticeably paler whilst shaking every so often while Lily sniffled every now and then. The teen shifted gears from a scolding attitude to that of a concerned parent. "You guys ok?..."

"N-No..." Lincoln's voice was barely above a whisper. The two spent the rest of the trip back in silence, wanting to avoid traffic as much as possible. Whenever Lincoln had to cross a street, he pedaled as quick as Lynn did when she went on a competition rampage after losing a board game that one time.

"Lincoln, what happened?"

Lincoln sat down on the opposite sides of the couch. He took Lily out of the pouch and sat her on the floor so she could move around, though she hardly moved and instead preferred to be held by her siblings. Lily whined as she tried to climb onto the couch, to which Lori grabbed the baby and held her in her arms. "M-Me and Lily stopped to eat ice cream on the way back. We were sitting o-outside and...a-and a car nearly hit us..." Tears formed in the corner of his eyes.

Lori covered her mouth to prevent a gasp from escaping. She immediately told Bobby she had a family emergency to deal with, along with yelling for her other sisters to come down. At that point, Lincoln started to let out the tears he had been holding in the entire time he was riding back. Lori brought him into a comforting embrace as he let the effects of a near-death experience wash over him.

Lincoln gripped Lori's shirt as he tried to keep his sniffling under control. "I thought...I thought we were g-gonna-"

"Shhh...don't say that." Lori hushed him. "You two are still here, and that's all that matters..."

The trio heard a stampede of footsteps descending the stairs. The other sisters were muttering amongst each other, wondering what got into Lori now since she yelled for them to come down. Whatever thoughts about Lori being a drill sergeant went out the window upon seeing their oldest sister comforting their crying brother and baby sister.

"Uh, what did we miss?" Lynn asked.

"We got a Code Dark Grey..."

 **A/N: I'm certain the mood whiplash might throw off some, but it does make a point that even in the best of times, unexpected incidents like this can happen. Every day, someone gets involved in a car accident, whether you were in the vehicle or not. But, stuff like this won't be a common place in this story. It's more or less a one time thing, though a similar health issue may come up later on, what with Lana keeping some dangers animals she's way too young to be handling and gives too much leeway. And don't worry about Lincoln and Lily; they'll get better.**


	5. Friendly' Sibling Advice

**A/N: Never let it be said that a fluff story can't have a little drama here and there. Though, I may tone it down a bit because using the car accident may have been a little extreme; well, in Lana's case, it might be similar since she has a bunch of dangerous animals in her care. But, we'll get to that later. Now, let's see how the two kids recover from this incident, and learn a bit more about this new system the Louds forged since a few asked what exactly it meant. Keep in mind that there isn't an actual code for near-death in the medical book of codes.**

 **Disclaimer: I own NOTHING from the Loud House.**

"Wait, what's dark grey mean again?" Leni asked, tapping her chin. Her eyes widened in fear as one thought popped in. "Is Pop-Pop dying?!'

"Sigh. It means near-death experience." Lucy explained, folding her arms. "I would've suggested black, but it already means death in medical terms."

Lynn scoffed a little. " _Near death_? How could Link here nearly kick it? Did someone get the last issue of Ace Savvy before he did?"

If looks could kill, Lynn would be a stain on the floor with the glare Lori was giving. This also prompted Luan to keep whatever joke she was making to herself. "Our brother and baby sister were nearly _slammed by a car_ , FYI..."

The sporty Loud became crestfallen, giving an understanding "oooh…" in a hushed tone.

Lisa shifted her glasses, her face still stoic like usual. "Random automotive incident, I see? Very well, I'll handle this." The prodigy walked up to the couch and tugged at Lincoln's shirt. "Come with me elder brother. I have a plan that will help you get through these troubling circumstances." She twisted her head to the group of sisters. "Lana, you will help Lily see that cars aren't as bad as they seem."

"What? Why me? Can't you just take Lily with you?" The handywoman protested.

"I would, but Lily does not yet possess the brain capacity to understand what I will be telling Lincoln. Plus, it would be easier for her to forget about this incident." Lisa tugged at Lincoln's shirt again, who finally decided to give Lily to Lori before getting up. The smaller girl grabbed his hand before leading him up the stairs to her new bedroom/lab.

"So, what will the rest of us do?" Lola asked.

Lori rolled her shoulders, gently patting Lily's back when she started sniffling again. "Just listen to Lisa and see how it goes. That's what we all agreed to do when we discussed this."

The other girls, sans Lana, grumbled at not being able to aid their disturbed siblings before dispersing around the house. Although it was rarely used, Code Dark Grey was something that was formed during a prior sibling meeting. Lucy (unsurprisingly) was the one who brought it up when the topic of the night was making changes to other shared codes the siblings used to identify a situation and how it would be handled. While no one expected each other to bite it so soon in their young lives, the dark loving 8 year old's concern held a good amount of weight behind it. It could be any day like today where they could expect nothing out of the ordinary, then find out their sibling was in the hospital trying to stay away from the light. As uncomfortable as it sounded, the siblings went ahead and developed a protocol around this new code.

Unlike their ill-fated Sister Fight Protocol, this one involved input from all family members and limited outside help. Depending on what the situation was, a particular sibling would be in charge of what everyone should do. If it was a social issue, Lori and Leni would be the ones to handle it, given their status as social butterflies. For anything around the pets, Lucy would be the one to talk to. In a case where your favorite celebrity nearly kicks it, Lincoln would be the one to handle it due to experiencing Bill Buck (the creator of his favorite series) having heart problems some time ago. There was some arguing on this from a few of the sisters as it didn't seem to impact the family directly, but all of them had some idol to look up to. For grandparent related issues, Rita and Lynn Sr. would help deal with it (and it would help them get over there own issues about the scenario). But today, it was Lisa's turn to take the reigns.

Lori handed Lily to Lana, who was now giving confused whimpers. "Good luck." The teen replied as she got up. "And try not to make it worse." She added with a serious undertone.

Lana rolled her eyes. "Pfff, like that's gonna happen." The 6 year old turned her attention to her littlest sister, whose eyes were starting to water. "Aw, cheer up Lils. Cars can still be fun, especially when you smash 'em together!" She walked to the stairs. "I prefer working on them more though, but I'll make an exception today."

* * *

"So, as you can see from this chart elder brother, what you experienced today is just another unfortunately common mishap in our society." Lisa used a pointer on a chart being projected onto a wall in the room. Lincoln was sitting on her bed as he breathed in and out of a paper bag his sister gave him while she talked, his anxiety still clear as day. "Given that roughly 72% of our country's population owns a motor vehicle, accidents are always bound to happen; along with fatalities. While I do wish there were better ways to curb the idiocies that happen on our roadways, we should be lucky Royal Woods has a relatively low automotive incident record at 12%. Still, that doesn't mean accidents won't occur, similar to our current crime rate." The 4 year old compressed the pointer. "Let's just be thankful you and Lily weren't added to the list of victims due to ignoramuses who are too impatient to wait, and lack empathy about those around them. Hopefully, that driver will be charged in the court system accordingly."

For a few moments, Lincoln tuned out his sister. In any other case, he would be bored to death listening to Lisa's rambling on car accidents. Ever tried sitting next to her in the van? But, her lecture on how frequent it was to go through something he just experienced was surprisingly calming the boy's nerves.

 _"It's just a common thing...it's just a common thing. Nothing to be worried about...mostly..."_ Lincoln mulled internally, removing the bag from his mouth. He breathed in deep through his nostrils before letting the hot air escape from his mouth.

"Feeling better?" Lisa asked.

Lincoln gave a little nod. "You seem surprisingly calm though..."

"On the contrary, Lincoln." The brunette shook her head, turning the projector off. "While I normally don't express much emotion, I am utterly terrified that you and Lily were nearly fatally wounded."

Lincoln squinted his eyes a bit. "You sure have an odd way of showing it..." His tone making it clear he didn't fully believe her.

Lisa took off her glasses, breathing a little on the lens before rubbing them with her shirt. "Truth to be told...I usually am whenever we're in Vanzilla for hours at a time."

The 11 year old raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

The little girl nodded, setting her glasses back on her face before sitting next to him. "Why do you think I keep talking about the various incidents that could happen to us when we go on a road trip? I'm not saying it just to have my voice be heard. I want everyone to be well aware of the dangers of being in a vehicle, and it helps calm my nerves to a degree. Given the aged condition of Vanzilla, and our father's refusal to simply buy a more suitable and _SAFE_ vehicle, there are many possibilities that could cause a serious (but hopefully not fatal) injury to all of us, both inside and out. Having witnessed our family wagon break down a few times, I grew curious as to what potential accidents could occur with a vehicle well past its 'scrap-by' date." Lisa shivered a little. "Let's just say that I regret ever looking at that list..."

Lincoln frowned a bit. "Wow...I didn't realize you actually felt that way..."

"I didn't expect you to either, since no one really knows the reason for my rambling. But, I came to realize half the things I saw have an extremely low possibility to happen or not at all, while some are just out of our control."

"Like how me and Lily just wanted to have a snack in peace?"

"Exactly."

"That's just it though...all I wanted to do was have a good time with Lily, especially since she got put on timeout for something that really wasn't her fault." Lincoln gazed at the floor. "It was supposed to be fun, you know? I mean, the last few times I've been with Lily haven't been for her benefit, so I wanted to make it up to her..." The boy stared at the door, wondering what Lana was doing with their baby sister. "Maybe I shouldn't have stopped for ice cream and just came home..."

"On the contrary, I think it's good that you did treat her to frozen dairy confectionaries. It's proven to be healthy for a baby to consume as much calcium as they can to develop their bone structure better." Lisa put a hand on Lincoln's arm. "And I believe you still had a choice on what could've happened to you both. You did the right thing by recognizing the danger and getting you and Lily out of harm's way. That made the difference in you being able to come home and the rest of us finding out that you were on your death bed barely clinging to consciousness, and Lily..." Lisa paused, finding that she was getting too touchy on the subject. The stare Lincoln was giving her added onto that. "Let's just be thankful you guys are still here with us." She gave a sheepish smile.

Lincoln _was_ thankful he got away with just a few lumps on his back. Still, he could add that to the pair, now group, of incidents where Lily had been nearly injured under his care. He tried not to let that feeling being him down, but after what happened just an hour ago, it was the only thing in his mind.

"...Do you think I might be a danger to Lily?..."

Lisa raised a brow. "I fail to see how you would. All of us could honestly, but we'd always be there to protect her; especially you of all people."

"Lisa, this is the 3rd time Lily almost got hurt when I'm supposed to take care of her. I nearly lost her that time I took her to the park when I misplaced her with another baby, and I can't imagine what would've happened if I didn't get her off that train at the mall before it crashed..."

The 4 year old looked a bit uncertain. She was well aware of what happened at the mall. Plus, she got banned from the appliance store for the whole 'do-everything-robot' deal. "When did this first incident occur?"

Lincoln twiddled his thumbs. "The time I volunteered to watch Lily while you guys went to Aunt Ruth's..."

Lisa tried to not let her irritation show, opting to resume her usual stoic expression. "Ah." Her hand slid down to the bed cover. "So _that's_ why you stayed behind..."

"After all of that, it's why I wanted to spend a lot of time with Lily lately. I'm ok with being roommates with her now, but while she doesn't realize it, I wanted to make up for being selfish and using her. And now..." Lincoln paused, taking a moment to lie back on the mattress. "I feel like I can't even do that without something going wrong..."

"Lincoln, those were just a one time occurrence. It's unlikely that you'll repeat the same mistakes again."

"I lost her _twice_ Lisa...what happened at the mall counts. I'm also worried mom and dad will make me stay away from Lily forever if they find out about that stuff. I'm already positive they'll find out about what happened at the ice cream store..." Lincoln could see it now: both Rita and Lynn Sr. towering over him like giants as they scolded him for putting his baby sister in harms way. He brought his hands to his head as fear became present in his eyes, grabbing handfuls of hair and dripping sweat onto the bed. "First, they'll separate us so we aren't roommates anymore, then they'll make me sleep in the basement, or the garage! A-And then, Lily might forget I exist!"

Lisa couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Lincoln, as much time you've spent with our youngest sibling over the last few days, I doubt she'd easily forget you. If anything, Lily would be more inclined to come to you, not caring what our parental units think." The brunette stood up a bit, judging the distance from the bed to her desk chair. In a single bound, Lisa leaped off the bed and landed in the chair, the forward momentum making it slam into the desk and nearly toppling a few beakers. "Plus, we covered for you about the mall incident, and I have no inclination to have any room for storing what happened at the park that one time."

Lincoln deadpanned a bit, leaning his head up enough to gaze at the genius. "Last time you said that, you told Lynn about the gum in my hair when I said not to tell anyone."

"True," Lisa wheeled herself around to face the desk. "But this time I'm keeping my word. I don't plan on telling anyone about the park incident, so it'll just be a forgotten memory between us."

The 11 year old stared at the back of Lisa's wig, judging if she was lying or not. There were times his sisters did throw him under the bus, as did he to them, but they always made up for it and loved each other regardless. Deciding that it wasn't worth dwelling on, and that he felt a tad better after nearly becoming roadkill, the boy pushed himself off the bed. "Well, thanks for the talk Lisa." He patted the girl on her head.

"Any time. Though I advise you stay away from the street for a while if you start feeling uncomfortable. And possibly from the front windows in the event a car smashes through the wall." The 4 year old replied without turning towards him, though she readjusted her hair as the wig was a tad crooked.

Lincoln gave a nervous chuckle. "R-Right." He slowly shuffled back to the door before exiting out with haste, slamming it shut behind him. He breathed in before giving a heavy sigh, soon hearing the particular sound of giggles coming from Luna and Lana's room. Raising a brow, Lincoln walked down the hall, momentarily stopping in front of what used to be the twin's shared room. Peeking through the creaked open door, Lola was inside; her table was paraded with stuffed animals for another tea party. It nearly surprised Lincoln that she hadn't demanded his presence to be the butler, though he found the reason why a second later, as Lola called for the 'maid'. Lori came into view, wearing a typical French maid outfit that was surprisingly fitting for her size. The glare etched on the teen's face made it clear that she shared Lincoln's sentiments at playing house servant.

"Sure glad Clyde isn't here to see this. He'd probably flood the whole hallway with his nose." Lincoln muttered to himself as a chill went up his spine just picturing it.

Lori turned towards the sound, her cheeks glowing red at being spotted by another sibling in this embarrassing position. She gave Lincoln a look that effectively said, 'You're dead if you tell _anyone_ about this...'

Lincoln widened his eyes and quickly made a movement to zip his lips before scurrying back from the door. The boy stiffly walked over to the musician and handywoman's room, seeing the door was wide open. Lana and Lily were playing with toy cars, making the imaginary sounds of an engine running before making mock explosions, tossing the cars in any direction when they banged them together. Seeing the sweet smile on the baby's face made the 11 year old give a warm smile of his own.

Lana felt a pair of eyes watching her, and gave a side glance to the door. "Hey Lincoln! Hope Lisa didn't bore you to death with her dumb charts."

The boy shook his head. "For once, I was actually glad to hear her speaking about cars." He looked down at the distracted baby. "I guess Lily managed to get over it?"

The handywoman gave a smug look, folding her arms. "Yeah, she's a fast learner. Or, she's easily distracted."

"Boom! Boom! Boom!" Lily yelled as she kept crashed two toys against each other. She spread her arms out as much as she could before smashing them together with haste. This time, the wheels of both vehicles popped off and sent the little projectiles in all directions. Both older siblings shielded their faces to avoid catching one to the eye. A small wheel landed near Lily's foot, which instantly got her attention. Thinking it was a treat, the infant picked it up.

Fortunately, Lana quickly snatched it out of her hand, though Lily gave a small glare at her. "Ah ah Lily. That's not food. Plus, you can choke on it." The 6 year old chuckled. "I know from experience."

Lincoln gave a deadpanned look. "It wouldn't call me having to pull a Heimlich on you a funny moment Lana. Plus, we wouldn't let you OR Lola near any small toys until you guys were 3 after that."

Lily folded her arms, shifted her heated gaze at the floor. "Poo poo..."

"How about I take you downstairs for some cookies Lil?" Lincoln asked as he picked her up.

The baby answered back by putting a hand to her stomach as it groaned. She then made a sound that sounded like a mix between a sigh and a whine.

"I'll take that as a 'yes'." The 11 year old chuckled, taking the baby with him out into the hall.

"Welp, my work here is done." Lana stood up. "Now where did Hops go?..." She muttered whilst poking around the room.

Luna came in a few seconds later, a content smile on her face. "Guess bro and the Lilster got their groove back."

"Yeah." Lana's muffled voice came, as she had her head tucked under her bed. "Lily was actually easier to handle than I thought. I kinda expected to be drowning in a pool of tears the whole time."

"Cars are your deal sis. I was thinkin' Lincoln would have it worse, since Lisa never quits talkin' about how 'we're all gonna get in a serious accident' or whatever. I swear, she's like Lucy in that department."

The handywoman gave a short chortle. "You got that right." She slid out from under the bed. "You seen Hops out there somewhere?"

Luna gave a small shrug. "Nope. But, I am in the mood for a little jam session. Want in?"

Lana lied on the floor, putting a hand under her chin in thought. While she did want to go back to playing in the mud, a little music couldn't hurt. After all, that drum solo Luna laid down yesterday was intense. "Eh, why not. Just let me go grab some mud real quick." The six year old got up and ran out the door.

The musician then turned her attention to the closet, where she last put her beloved axe. Normally, she kept it out in plain sight so she could play a riff at a moment's notice. But, she put it and her other instruments in the closet for safe keeping while helping Lana and Luan move their stuff in and out of the room. Swinging the doors open, she saw her favorite instrument in the whole world, sitting there sparkling as the light from the room shined down upon it.

"Hello baby. Did ya miss me?"

However, as Luna reached down to grab it, a rattling sound echoed in the closet. At first, she thought it might have been Lily. But this sound was much higher pitched and moving too fast for her tiny arms to make that kind of noise. She paused for a second as her brain tried to figure out what on earth was causing it. In her peripheral vision, Luna saw the faintest movement right next to where her outstretched arm was. Giving a loud shriek, the teen recoiled back as a snake shot out from the dark closet, fangs exposed. The fangs grazed the bracelets on her wrist, leaving two visible hash marks. Luna fell on her butt with a loud thud, scooting back away from the closet. As the snake coiled into a defensive posture, it had exposed its body just enough for Luna to make out the brown pattern on its back. It flicked its tongue repetitively as the tail continued to give that loud rattle.

Realizing what kind of snake it was, Luna gave another yell; this one filled with anger. "LANAAA!"

The six year old came running to the doorway, covered in mud. "What is it?"

"Get that thing out of here!" The teen pointed to the rattlesnake poking out of the closet. The commotion happened to draw the attention of the other siblings, who were starting to congregate at their door.

Seeing the serpent, Lana just gave a small shrug. "Sorry Luna, but I can't help it if he likes dark places. Plus, you probably scared him."

"Are you kidding me?!" She held up her damaged bracelets. "It nearly _bit_ me! I could've been in here playing a tune to heaven by the time you came back!"

Lana frowned at the musician, putting her hands on her hips. "He was in the closet first, so it's his home now. Besides, rattlesnakes need a dark place to hole up during the day." She walked past the closet, giving the snake a side glance. "If you can't get your axe, that's not my problem."

The other siblings gasped, know what could happen next. Lynn however, knitted her brows a little. "She said the same thing about my lucky jersey..."

"Ooooh, this is about to rock our socks off..." Luan added, laughing nervously. Her 7 other sisters and brother gave a short groan.

Luna's lips thinned until gritted teeth were visible, along with the fact her face was becoming a little red. If there was one rule everyone knew in the house (outside of being in Lori's room without permission), it's that you _never_ get in-between Luna and her axe. The musician sure wasn't about to let that start with some stupid snake slithering around her baby. The 15 year old stood up, giving a very audible growl. Lana then found herself getting hoisted up by the straps of her overalls, staring eye to eye at the beast that was her sister.

"Get that snake out of this house, or out of the state for all I care, or I'll do it _for_ you, and you can mosey on out of here..." Luna's tone was very even and almost silent. Lana gave an audible gulp and nodded her head quickly. It was quite jarring how the loudest of the Louds could be so cold and quiet.

"Huh. And here I thought 'whispering' wasn't in Luna's vocabulary." Lola stated out loud.

"What was that?..." Luna replied, her voice rising with each word as she gazed at the little princess.

Lola's eyes widened a bit as she started to sweat a little. "Um, I think Mr. Teddy is calling me!" She quickly dashed back to her room.

The other siblings backed away from the door ever so slightly, but watched in awe as Lana handled the venomous reptile. The six year old approached the snake with calm assurance, despite it still rattling its tail like no tomorrow. She leaned down and, with reflexes none thought she possessed, grabbed the snake by its head before it could react. The body coiled around her arm in an attempt to get free, but it just made Lana press on its head even more. "Sorry buddy, but when you gotta go, you gotta go."

Lana walked past everyone with the snake in hand and headed downstairs. Moments later, they heard what sounded like buttons of the house phone being used.

"Well, guess we know how Lana was able to get a pet like that." Lincoln finally spoke.

"I'm fairly certain she acquired it after a visit to the state park. After all, having a S _istrurus Catenatus_ as a pet is illegal in this state." Lisa replied.

"What's that?" Lynn asked.

"Scientific name for the Massasauga Rattlesnake." The 4 year old adjusted her glasses. "I was a little appalled that Lana decided to bring such a dangerous reptilian in this establishment. It might've been due to how it's classified as an endangered species. But, she appeared to have it all under control. Still, as a precaution, I went ahead and had her help me get samples to produce an anti-venom should anyone be physically harmed by it."

"Good to know..." Lori spoke in an uneasy tone.

Leni then took the moment to give Lori a once over. She put her hands on her face as she let out a gasp, figuring out what she was wearing. "O. M. G! I didn't know French Maid was in season!"

Lori looked down at her dress, and her cheeks immediately became rose red. Luan and Lynn immediately went into hysterics, with Lucy giving a short 'hah' and Lily giving her own laughter due to seeing her sisters laughing. The oldest sibling clenched her hands tight and barred her teeth, stomping her way back to hers and Lola's room as the laughter followed. Lincoln looked back into the room, seeing that Luna was now carefully prodding through the closet with a flute. Silently, he slipped out of the group and into the room.

"Uh, you ok Luna?" The 11 year old asked. Lily shifted her focus from the door to her older sister, her tongue sticking out of her mouth slightly.

"Not now brah. Gotta check for any more of Lana's stupid pets in here..." She didn't sound as mad as earlier, but Luna was still irate nonetheless.

Lincoln scratched the back of his head with his free hand. While he wasn't too fond of Lana keeping a deadly animal, that didn't make Luna right for the way she handled it. "Don't you think you might have been a little hard on Lana? I mean, I'm not fond of snakes myself, but-"

Luna gave a sideways glare at him. "What? You're taking her side?"

Lincoln shook his head quickly. "N-No, I'm just saying that you didn't need to be in her face like that. Sure, Lana has a ton of...sometimes scary pets, but I don't think you had to threaten to kick her out for it."

"It's not that bro. It's that she'd rather protect somethin' she _know_ _s_ could land one of us a one way trip to singin' the blues than her own flesh 'n blood man" The musician finished her spot check, grabbing her axe and shut the door. "I love her bro, but the kid ain't alright sometimes, and I ain't ready to die today." She walked past the two, sitting on the lower bunkbed. "You'll wanna get out. I'm about to lay down some sick, angry vibes."

Seeing he couldn't be of any help, Lincoln promptly walked out the door. Just as he closed it behind him, the wooden barrier shook furiously as a pattern of epic riffs blasted it from the other side. "Well _that_ went well...'

"Poo poo." Lily spoke.

"Yeah, I guess it was 'poo poo'." The boy agreed.

As he walked past the stairs, Lily looked down and caught a glimpse at the TV. She tugged Lincoln's sleeve and pointed downstairs. "Un V. Un V!"

Lincoln looked where she was pointing, but shook his head. "Sorry Lily, but I got homework to do. But, you can watch it if you want." Turning around, the boy walked down the steps, making a beeline for the couch. If they looked to their left, they'd spot Lana still on the phone with the snake held firmly in her hand. Though, the snake was starting to appear like it was slowly choking to death. He jumped a little when he found Lucy sitting there silently with her usual expression. "Oh, hey Lucy." Lincoln placed Lily on the couch. "Can you watch Lily for a bit? I gotta do homework."

"Sure. But if you had plans on keeping your near-death a secret, they just went out the window." The 8 year old replied, using the remote to turn up the volume.

As Patchy was reading the report from his desk, the screen showed footage of the crash as it was being recorded from one of the building's security cameras. Seconds before the incident occurred, a circle was enveloped around Lincoln and Lily on the video, showing the 11 year old taking his sister to the side right as the car plowed through their table, coming to an abrupt halt right under the camera.

Lincoln felt beads of sweat drip down his head, a big chill running down his spine; seeing it on TV was almost like reliving the moment in real life. The boy took several deep breaths, trying to remind himself of what Lisa told him. However, those thoughts were interrupted by the sound of screeching tires and a sudden pop stopping in what he assumed was the driveway.

The 11 year old gave a sigh before turning to the readers. "Welp, here come two _very worried_ parents..."

 **A/N: With the aftermath of the car crash mostly done away with, aside from the fact Rita and Lynn Sr. will likely be acting as overprotective parents, that's one hurdle the Louds passed. The second comes from Lana being forced to get rid of her pet rattler due to an enraged Luna. Part of this stems from me feeling rather uncomfortable with the fact she even has a pet like that. Sure, she can apparently wrestle alligators, but there a big issue with bringing venomous snakes into your house and leaving it to slink around. I also felt that Luna would probably react the same way Lynn would if the snake was around something she needed. I can only imagine how it would go if the snake actually bit someone (literally, because this story is rated K).**

 **Also, the snake in question is a real species. Massasauga snakes are a species of rattlers that live from Ontario and Western New York all the way down to Arizona. I originally was going to use Eastern Diamondbacks, but found this species to be more of a coincidence since it lives in Michigan. And knowing Lana's habit of bringing wild animals into the house, it suddenly added up as to why one appeared in the episode.**


	6. One Day At A Time

**A/N: Been awhile since the last time I updated this. But, it has the honor of being the first fic I update in the new year. Having my attention divided between my other stories and life itself doesn't help, so why not give everyone some fluff to read? Also, I had little idea how to continue with this outside of one particular scene that I had to put it off until I sat down and thought it over. But the future is now thanks to creativity.**

 **Disclaimer: I own NOTHING from the Loud House.**

As Lincoln waited for the front door to open, he was certain that his life was officially over. His nightmare would surely come to pass and his parents would bar him from being near the baby of the family for all eternity. The boy could hear rapid footfalls for a few seconds before the door swung open to reveal a very distressed mother and father. Before Lincoln could even have a chance to explain anything, he found his face smashed into his mother's stomach as she gave him a bone-crushing hug.

"Ooooooh my poor babies!" Rita spoke as if she were to break down at any moment.

"Thank goodness you and Lily are safe sport!" Lynn Sr. added, joining the hug from behind. Lily clung to her father's arm, her attention still directly at the TV.

Lincoln flailed his arms, struggling to find a source of air. He planted his hands against his mom and managed to push himself out enough to turn his head up. Taking in a massive gasp, "How...how did you guys find out?"

"It was all over the radio on the way home. We didn't think too much of it until they mentioned a white-haired boy and a baby." The patriarch replied.

Lincoln frowned a bit. "I'm sorry mom, dad...I didn't...I didn't mean to get us both in trouble." He pleaded, his voice breaking slightly. "I thought Lily would like a little treat and-"

Lynn Sr. raised a brow. "What are you apologizing for Lincoln? You didn't _intentionally_ put yourself and your sister in harm's way, did you?"

Not counting the last two times that is...

"Um, no?" The boy replied, growing confused. "Why would I ever do that? Especially to Lily?"

Said infant turned her head to the trio at the mention of her name, squeaking out a voice of confusion.

Rita gave a light a chuckle. "What your father is getting at Lincoln, is that there are some things that are completely out of our control. Only thing we can do is try to smooth things over when they come up." She furrowed her brows a little. "And that's one of the reasons I left my old job as a crossing guard..." Looking down at her son, she checked his face and noted a few faded scratches here and there. "Looks like you got away with hardly any damage thankfully. You doing better since you got back?"

 _"Speaking of backs, mine is still sore..."_ Lincoln sighed inwardly. "Yeah. Lisa's lecture calmed me down a lot, and Lily might've already forgotten about it by now."

Lily shook her head. "Uh uh."

The boy gave a solemn look. "Or not..."

Lily reached out for her brother, to which Lincoln raised a brow before taking her into his arms. Lily then kissed him on the cheek before nuzzling the spot with her own cheek. There was no way Lincoln could suppress a smile at the gesture, with the adults cooing in response.

"Darn, I wish I had my camera!" Lynn Sr. groaned. "I was lucky enough to catch Lucy smiling so I could add it to the album."

"Lily's lucky she has her little guardian angel to look after her." Rita ruffled Lincoln's hair, making the boy blush.

"H-Heh, yeah."

Lynn Sr. eyed the clock on the wall. "Welp, no time like the present to start dinner. And I'll be sure you two get a nice helping of dessert afterwards." The patriarch winked at the kids as he strolled into the dining room.

"Also, thanks for picking up Lily for me champ." Rita hugged her son once more before taking her purse to the master bedroom.

Just before she could open the door, both her and the kids heard what could count as a manly-girlish scream coming from the kitchen.

"SNAKE!"

"Aw come on dad. I was gonna get rid of him!" Came Lana's sharp reply.

* * *

Although dealing with the car incident occupied Lincoln's train of thought for a time, all it took was one glance at his backpack to remember the assignments that were due tomorrow. Like any other kid, he wished he could just poof the work away from existence and spend the rest of the day playing video games or catching up on his comics, but the 'rents wouldn't appreciate seeing an F on a reasonably easy assignment. While dinner was being made, Lincoln propped a chair up to the desk and fished out his science homework. Luna finally got over her rush of anger and stashed the axe back in its case, though she made sure to search the closet for any of Lana's other pets.

Lincoln had his laptop open, head propped on one hand with a bored stare as he read through some article about different types of rock.

"This sounds like something Lisa might be interested in..." Lincoln muttered to himself.

He struck up the idea of asking Lisa to give him a better clue about the subject, but did he really want to get stuck in another hour long lecture about 'How does Igneous Rock form?' It comes from cooled lava flows, end of story. No need to bite his head off explaining what temperature does the rock fully solidify because by then, Lincoln could honestly care less and let that information drain out of his brain. No offense to the prodigy, and while still thankful for the earlier speech, Lisa could drone on and on if you didn't know how to make her clam up.

A chill ran up the boy's spine before he reached behind him and adjusted the ice pack strapped to his back. Turns out whatever hit him during the accident was heavy enough to leave a few marks. Lincoln wasn't too fond of the numb feeling his middle back was dealing with, but it was better than moaning from the soreness.

Just as Lincoln was about to go to a different page, a video icon popped up in the middle of the screen. In the upper corner, the Loud saw a picture of a certain dark-haired tomboy. Normally, if Ronnie Anne wanted to talk, they could just meet somewhere like the arcade or the park. Rather hard to do that if you live three to four hours down the road...

"Well, at least I can get a break." Lincoln rubbed his eyes a little before clicking the 'answer' button.

"Sup Lame-O." Ronnie Anne stated, kicking her feet up behind her. She was lying down on her bed, a bit of chatter being heard from beyond the door.

"Oh, you know. Boring homework." Lincoln smirked, leaning back a bit in his seat. He immediately regretted doing so as one of his sore spots was pressed. The boy jerked forward, biting his lip as he rubbed his lower back. "Oookay, that stings a bit..."

Ronnie Anne raised a brow. "You ok?"

"Yeah, just a little sore."

"Lynn putting you through her sparring practices again?"

Lincoln shook his head. "Nah, it was just an accident from earlier." Giving a slight shiver, "I really ought to stop thinking about it..."

This just raised even more questions for the former bully. Looking past Lincoln, she noticed his room seemed bigger than normal. Added to that was part of a crib poking in on the right side of the camera. "Does it have to do with the fact you got a bigger room now?"

"Well," Lincoln glanced behind him, "Sort of." Turning back to the screen, "See, my sisters were having issues with their usual roommates, and they wanted to switch. Being that I'm by myself, I wasn't caught up in the mix." The Loud furrowed his brows as he folded his arms, specifically remembering why he helped his siblings. "Or, at least I would have if they didn't keep coming to me about what X sister did. I don't have to solve _all_ of their problems."

Ronnie Anne gave a light chuckle. "I know right? Sometimes I gotta bail Carlino out of something he thinks he's 'manly' enough to handle." She gave a light sigh filled with grimace. "I love him like a little brother, but sometimes I just really want to let him get whatever is coming to him. I mean, he's only six! How does that make him a 'man'?" She furrowed her brows. "But then Aunt Frida and mom might come down on me if I do because I'm supposed to be watching him. I'm not exactly his keeper..."

"In my case, I had to step in because I could hardly hear myself think with all the constant arguing. I got an idea to use a compatibility test to figure out who would be best suited for sharing a room thanks to Clyde."

"Did it work?"

Lincoln breathed out of his nose, pinching the bridge of his eyes whilst recalling the failed pairings. "For a few hours. I thought Lynn and Lana would be nice to pair up since they like to be rough and dirty, but then Lana's many pets irritated Lynn. In fact, just recently Luna made her get rid of a rattlesnake that almost bit her."

Ronalda widened her eyes, her mouth nearly falling open in shock. "Why does she have a rattlesnake?"

Lincoln shrugged. "She keeps bringing in reptiles she finds outside, probably without mom and dad knowing because they'd likely make her take it back. Anyway, Lori and Lily shared a room since they used their phones a lot, but then Lori stepped on Lily's and _she_ posted some photos of Lori looking like she has a double chin. Lola and Lucy were paired together-"

Ronalda gave a small chortle. "Ok, I can already tell that didn't end well. A dark girl with a princess? Come on Lame-O..."

"Yeah..." Lincoln scratched the back of his head. "Not a wise choice...where was I again? Oh, right. So Leni was paired with Luan, and it would've worked if Leni didn't laugh at _everything_ Luan said."

Stifling a chuckle, "And here I thought you said Luan had a hard time getting _any_ of you guys to laugh." The tomboy replied.

"Guess she got too much of a good thing." Lincoln answered back, to which both kids laughed at the little joke. "Then, I had Luna paired with Lisa since they both cause loud noises." He leaned back in his chair. "I'll just say that Luna owed Lisa a new pair of glasses. And guess who ended up upsetting all of his siblings, again..."

The tomboy hummed in agreement. "Sounds rough."

"Then, Lisa pretty much one upped me by using a machine to match everyone up based on stolen DNA samples she took from us. So Lori is with Lola, Luan is with Lucy, Luna and Lana are together, Leni is with Lynn, and I'm with Lily." The boy breathed in, "Even though the computer said we only had a 17% match."

"Wait, so who does Lisa bunk with?"

"She took my old room, and I took her spot in Lily's. She said she didn't match with anyone even though she," Lincoln put up a pair of fingers on both hands, " _prefers_ having a roomie. I'm still a little convinced she took my room since I enjoyed not having to deal with what the girls had."

"And how long ago did this happen?"

"A few days ago."

Ronnie Anne gave a dry laugh. "Wow. You're family is _way_ more interesting than mine right now. Only thing that ever happens is Bobby getting stuck in the freezer downstairs."

Lincoln gave a knowing smirk. "That's not what you said last week."

A light blush formed on the girl's cheeks. "Ok, I may have _nearly_ lost Lalo since he ran off, and..." She looked up at the door, making sure it was closed. "I lost Carlitos for a bit." The last part came out as a whisper.

"Heh heh, you aren't alone on that." Taking a quick glance to the door, "I nearly lost Lily at the park one time, and mixed her up with a different baby."

"Man, we suck as babysitters don't we?" Ronnie Anne gave a half-hearted chuckle. "Speaking of which, is it bad having Lily as a roommate? I can only imagine all the crying and dirty diapers she puts out."

"I originally thought the same thing, but it's not that bad. I mean, she did keep me up one night and I had to put her to sleep the other night," Lincoln frowned a little. "And she did poop in her diaper while she slept on my chest." Ronnie Anne wrinkled her face in disgust. "But it's been pretty nice actually. I think me and Lily have more in common than what that dumb computer said, and she even fended off Luan when she threatened to prank me."

Ronnie Anne gave a little smile. "Sounds like you got quite the protector." Her lips curled up further into a taunting grin. "Guess we know whose going to watch over you now since I can't do it, you know, with me being three hours away."

"T-That's not how it works!" Lincoln stammered, a light red tint forming on his cheeks. "If anything, Lily's gonna have her big brother watching over her more often. Besides, you and Carlitos might make good roommates."

Ronnie Anne scoffed a little. "Please. He's a handful if he isn't distracted by something. Then again..." The Hispanic girl paused. "It's pretty cute how Carlitos tries to imitate everyone he sees."

Lincoln had to stifle a laugh as he imagined Ronnie Anne being followed by the infant Casagrande, quite literally trying his best to be a younger version of the tomboy. A sudden vibration traveled through the floor as a loud thump reached Lincoln's ears. Craning his neck, the boy found Lily getting back onto her feet, apparently having tripped over herself.

"Hey Lily, what's up?"

"Dada, dinee!" The infant spoke, bobbing up and down as she held the chair leg for support.

"Dad finished making dinner?" Lincoln asked, to which Lily nodded. Turning back to the screen, "Welp, gotta go Ronnie Anne. We'll talk more later." Suddenly, a fond idea came to him. Picking up his sister, Lily then focused on the little screen. "Say hi to Ronnie Anne Lily."

Only to immediately regret that _fun_ idea. "Hai Incon gahfwend!"

Both kid's went wide-eyed as they became flustered. Lily may not speak proper English yet, but it wasn't hard to get the gist of what she says half the time. "I'm/She's not his/my girlfriend!" The preteens stammered out in unison.

"No." Lily shook her head, pointing at the screen. "Incon gahfwend!" She said cheerfully.

"I think you've been spending a little too much time with our sisters..." Lincoln muttered, a twinge of annoyance. "See ya Ronnie Anne."

"S-See ya..." The tomboy replied, not bothering to end with her usual goodbye remark.

Lincoln ended the call before looking down at Lily, who was touching the screen as she tried to figure out why Ronalda suddenly disappeared.

"Gahfwend?" The infant poked at an icon the mouse arrow was still on.

"Lily, me and Ronnie Anne aren't really dating. I mean, sure we've hung out many times before she moved..." He paused as one particular day came to mind. "And k-kissed once...but, um...how do I say it?" Lincoln nervously scratched his head. "I mean, she's cool and everything and if I wanted to ask her on a date, I would. But I don't want to make things awkward..." The boy gave a low frown. "Especially if you guys are gonna spy on us the whole time. I mean, seriously? Why is it that whenever I went to go hang out with Ronnie Anne, you guys thought it was a date? I don't wanna be forced to date her just because Lori and Bobby are together, and I can't believe I'm agreeing with Lola on this, but going to the arcade doesn't count as a date!"

Lily tilted her head in confusion. Lincoln sighed internally, thinking most of the words flew over her head. I mean, he was ranting to a baby of all people. Hanging around his other siblings obviously gave the impression that she'd think Lincoln and Ronnie Anne were an item, even though it was still a hot debate on that matter. The two eleven year olds were best friends despite the rocky start, and now that Lincoln was starting to realize, maybe the way they acted around each other _might have_ given the impression they were something more. Doesn't help that neither the Loud or Santiago sound convincing when denying the accusations.

Lincoln's stomach growled a little, feeling fortunate it pulled him out of something that he'd be stuck thinking about all night. "Look, you'll understand this when you're older, but me and Ronnie Anne aren't dating unless _I_ say we are, ok? And I don't want any pressure on trying to ask her out."

Lily babbled something in understanding as she nodded her head, putting her thumb in her mouth as hunger pangs started to kick in. With the smell of meatballs enticing his senses, Lincoln tucked the 15 month old into the crook of his arm before heading down.

* * *

Dinner was a relatively normal affair, no food fights this time around and everyone became enamored with discussing how their days went. The snake incident was promptly taken care of when a trained handler escorted it off the property, and Lana was scolded by her mother for bringing a dangerous reptile into the house. She also wouldn't get any dessert for the night. The parents asked about the new room arrangements, to which most of the siblings were still satisfied with their new roommates. Privately, Lisa was pleased that her analysis was going smoothly; though given the tension between Luna and Lana, the little genius couldn't help but wonder if there were any other conflicts going on behind the scenes. She'd definitely have to check on this later.

The family also made a point to not talk about the accident two of the Louds were involved in, though Lincoln knew they were thinking about it as he caught some of his sisters and his parents occasionally staring at him. The boy understood their concerns, but it still annoyed him a smidge; it's not like Lincoln was going to get Vietnam flashbacks every time he sees a car. Sure, the incident still scared him a bit and he may or may not have a nightmare about it later, but Lincoln felt that if he could walk away from nearly breaking his face after going too fast on his bike once, he could walk away from this.

Just as long as he didn't think about the horrid sound of metal crunching, glass shattering, tires squealing, and...that endless blaring of a horn...

Lincoln gave a heavy shudder as that processed in his mind. He quickly shook that thought away as he felt he needed to get another issue dealt with, and it was something the snow-haired boy felt his comedian of a sister could solve.

Shortly after dinner, Lincoln stood in front of the door that led to Luan and Lucy's room. He slowly opened the door, looking up at the growing distance between it and the frame to check for a bucket. Not seeing any sort of metal, he opened the door a bit more; a hand covered half his face in case there was a pie waiting for him.

"That you Link?" Luan's voice came out of genuine confusion.

The boy's eyes widened a little as he pushed the door fully open, spotting the comedian sitting on what was formally Lynn's bed with a notebook in hand. _"She must've been coming up with more puns."_ Lincoln bemused to himself. "Yeah, uh, you got a sec?"

"Nope, I got plenty of seconds to spare!" Luan chuckled a little. "That's actually not half-bad." Her pen scribbled on the paper, "I'll need to find a better punchline to use it for."

"Riiiight." Lincoln said dryly as he walked in. Looking around the room, you could still easily tell which side was Lucy's (as if the bed wasn't a dead giveaway). However, without Lynn's sporting equipment, jerseys, and other clothing lying around on the floor, it made the place look a lot cleaner. There was still the faint smell of arousals and bleach however, likely from cleaning some extensively dirty spots around Lynn's area. "So, how's the new room going for you?"

"Way better now that I don't have to be kept awake all night with Luna's stupid music. I'm actually surprised the walls are a bit thicker than ours." Luan set the notebook down, patting a spot on the bed next to her.

Lincoln sat down, only to hear a nasty gush of air reverberate around the room. The younger Loud blushed a bit as Luan started to laugh, but quickly got over the embarrassment as he knew he didn't feel nor smell himself passing foul odor. Reaching under the sheets, Lincoln wasn't too surprised to find a deflated whoopie cushion.

Giving an unamused stare at his sister, "A comedian is always prepared." Luan replied, taking the object and tossing it into an open box.

"Seems you and Lucy got along pretty well, though I don't know how. Lucy is practically the _last_ person in this house you'd expect to get a laugh out of."

"You'd think so, but I've figured out a way to get her to at least smile." Luan leaned against the headboard. "Mr. Coconuts is a _real_ charmer when it comes to talking with Edwin."

"Guess Lisa was right about the whole 'talking with dummies' thing."

"Actually," A monotone voice cut in, making both siblings scream in fright. Lincoln instinctively backpedaled until he was up against the wall whilst Luan clutched her chest in one hand with a hard grip to the headboard in another. Lucy did her best to prevent a smile from taking shape. "Edwin isn't a dummy, and I would appreciate it if you didn't call him that."

Luan frowned at the young goth. "Now if she could wear a bell for once, I'd stop getting heart attacks."

"Not a chance." Lucy replied with earnest, walking to her nightstand to pull something out of a drawer. "Still, you make a better roommate than snore-zilla." She pulled out her journal. "And you know how to keep your place clean. I've smelled things that shouldn't be thought of with all of Lynn's dirty laundry piling up..." The eight year old gave a disgruntled shudder.

"Well, if I didn't, then I wouldn't find anything." Luan gave a small chortle. "After all, how do you think I keep making those pranks for April Fools every year? Or run Funny Business?" Luan looked around for her notebook, finding it having been thrown to the floor during the jump-scare. "Plus, Luna always winds up cramming her instruments into my closet when she runs out of room. I mean, ok, she likes to shred on her guitar. But why does she have a sax, a xylophone, an electric piano, a violin, tuba..." Luan paused for a moment. "Come to think of it, she could practically have an entire _orchestra_ crammed in our room."

Lincoln gave a shrug. "I think it's just a hobby of hers to collect musical stuff." He folded his arms. "Kinda like how you always buy a ton of props and prank stuff because, as you said at one point, comedy is hard."

Luan nodded. "It is." After a moment of silence, "I guess music is too..."

"So Lincoln, what are you here for?" Lucy asked, not taking her eyes off her book.

"Oh, right." The boy turned to Luan. "I need to learn how to Lily-Speak. I know she can't talk properly yet, but it's hard trying to hold a conversation with her when I can barely understand anything she says."

"Oh, that's easy." Luan slammed her book shut. "I've been doing it since Lynn was in diapers, and trust me, she was a chore to get through. With you though, it was a bit easier since you only wanted one thing."

"Which was?"

Luan smirked and pinched one of Lincoln's cheeks. "To spend time with your big 'sissies'."

Lucy paused in her writing, looking up at her brother who was flushed with embarrassment and giving a frown at their comedic sibling as she played with his cheek.

Calmly grabbing Luan's wrist. "I only said it like that because I couldn't pronounce _sisters_ yet..."

"Well get used to it buster, cause it's gonna be a while until Lily can speak in full sentences." Luan cleared her throat, clasping her hands together in a meditative stance. "Now, baby talk is a very rare form of language not many will understand. But, in learning the art of this forgotten language, you too shall earn a sibling bond that is stronger than most would think is possible with our youngest sister." She looked at Lincoln with a quizzical eye. "Are you ready?"

Lincoln gave a slow nod, a little nervous about what Luan was thinking of doing.

"As you probably know, Lily can speak a few words but most of it comes out as random babbles. In order to understand her better, you have to listen _very_ carefully for the words that come out of her mouth and try to match them with words you know."

"Wouldn't it be easier if we just _taught_ Lily how to speak properly?..." Lucy added, her pen scribbling a new poem onto the page.

Luan gave an unamused stare at the goth. "Right, because next thing we know, she'll be reciting poems or haikus all the time."

Lucy cast a cold glare through her bangs at the 13 year old. "Or lame puns knowing you."

Sensing a potential argument about to break out, "Girls, can we not fight about this please?" Lincoln quickly interjected.

Luan and Lucy stared at each other in silence for a moment before going back to their tasks. "As I was saying, I'm going to speak in baby talk for a bit, and you have to figure out what I'm really saying."

"Ok?" Lincoln replied, raising a brow.

The comedian did her best impression of an infant, spouting random incoherent words that nearly left Lincoln even more confused. He could've swore he heard an actual word or two in all of the random sounds, but it still felt like trying to read a story where someone couldn't be bothered to use proper spacing.

"Um, did you say you needed to use the bathroom?" The boy guessed, scratching his head.

"No. I said 'I'm getting sleepy, please put me in my crib'."

"What? How? I didn't hear _anything_ that sounded like nap time."

Luan patted the top of Lincoln's head. "You have much to learn, young grasshopper. Besides, we got all the way til bed time anyways."

As the two siblings started up their conversation again, Lucy found herself getting distracted with all the infantile language being thrown around. It even somehow found its way into her writing, with the words 'goo goo gaa gaa' taunting her in the middle of a poem enriched with darkness. The eight year old growled in frustration before tearing out the page and feeding it to the waste bin. Tucking her book into the crook of her arm, Lucy climbed to the top her bed post and opened the grate in the ceiling. Looking back at her two siblings, they seemed too enthralled in their little discussion to even notice her move.

"I don't know what's worse..." Lucy muttered as she climbed into the spacious ventilation system. "Luan making baby noises, or the fact she makes puns in her sleep..." Closing it behind her, the goth took some pleasure in how the fan muffled the dumb sounds before promptly shutting things out to concentrate.

* * *

Inside her linen closet-turned-room/lab, Lisa sat in front of her computer monitors as they recorded video feeds given by the hidden cameras in every siblings room. Every once in a while, she would jot down a few notes if something worth remembering came up. Currently, it was few and far between. So far, she had only seen interaction between Luna and Lana, with the former still looking a bit crossed about the whole snake issue. However, the teen looked to be more reserved as opposed to being outright hostile.

"Seems Luna and Lana have made up in spite of the harsh words my musical sibling gave to the messy one. However, it appears Luna may be more edgy when it comes to Lana's pets being around her instruments. Given how she gave a thorough search of her clothing storage unit at about 1956hrs, Luna could also be a bit paranoid with places that have no significant ambient light in the room." Lisa noted, lazily looking at the other monitors.

Her curiosity became peaked as Leni came into view on the camera in her and Lynn's room. The blonde cheerfully walked through the room, opening the closet and appearing to sort through some clothing. Lisa noticed how Leni paused in her movement before bending over and pulling out a jersey covered in dried mud and grass. The fact Leni covered her nose also meant it had a mean stench to it.

"Of course, Lynn's laundry habits are still the equivalent of Lana taking a bath." The 4 year old groaned.

Lisa watched Leni look around, noticing the other dirty laundry lying around Lynn's bed. Being the thoughtful and kind sister she was, Leni grabbed the rest of the dirty clothes, wrinkling her face in disgust as she touched something wet. Lisa could see Leni's mouth moving, like saying something along the lines of "ew, ew, ew!" before the blonde ran out the room. Other cameras spotted her running down the stairs and making a beeline towards the basement.

"Hmmm." Lisa jotted down a few bullet points. "I had a feeling Lynn's overall dirty habits might conflict with Leni's normal cleanliness." Reaching to her right, the little girl grabbed the sheet that listed the compatibility percentages and traits noted from the machine she used earlier. Giving a quizzical eye, "Although they match at over 90%, it seems the computer didn't give a clear explanation as to _why_. If I had to assume, it may be the case that both Lynn and Leni aren't exactly quote un-quote 'the sharpest tools in the shed'. Adding in the fact that Lynn also has an ego the size of an O-Type Star and Leni's willingness to aid anyone may also be a factor. However, with knowledge of Lynn's completely unethical 'good luck' rituals (which unfortunately involves refusal to wash clothing and creating a biohazard), I predict this will be a major source of tension in the future."

Panning to a different screen, Lisa saw Lincoln with Luan in her and Lucy's room. The two older siblings were conversing about something, which may have gotten on Lucy's nerves given how the eight year old appeared to glare at them before moving into the vents.

"Nothing too much out of the ordinary here, but given Luan's weird habit to make a joke out of almost every situation, I could see this eventually becoming a problem that Lucy may try to correct. And given how sensitive Luan is about critique on her jokes," Lisa paused, watching her comedian of a sister looking like she was imitating an infant; no doubt a habit Lily does, "It likely won't end well."

Focusing her attention to other screens, Lisa spotted Lola conversing with their oldest sister, who was lying on her bed with phone in hand. Seeing a tea table set up in a corner, it didn't take a genius to realize Lola was asking Lori to play maid while she was most likely talking with her boyfriend. Lisa watched as Lori appeared to brush off Lola's request, who promptly took the teen's phone and spoke a few words that likely were along the lines of "she'll call you back." Being defensive as she was about her belongings, Lisa could only snort a little in amusement as she watched Lori begin to wrestle the phone away from the little girl. Even though Lincoln's old room had a great way of muffling loud noises, the young genius could still hear them screaming at each other coupled with sudden thuds vibrating through the floor.

Looking back at the test sheet, Lisa shoot her head. "Social skills may be high (or just for Lori. I'm unsure of how Lola interacts with her peers that isn't outside of some hidden demand), but it's being proven that putting two siblings with authoritative natures is comparative to putting two sharks in one tank. They may respect each other for a while, but it's only a matter of time before one tries to predate on the other." The four year old let a heavy sigh escape her. "This...is rather troubling..."

Lisa picked up the data sheet, going over it slowly. "Everyone but Lincoln, myself, and Lily matched around 90% compatibility, and yet my sisters are already showing signs of hostility towards their new roommates. Even more so, unlike Lincoln's last test, it's only been 68 hours and already there are signs of potential problems." She folded her arms. "I hypothesized that Lincoln would be the first to complain due to his and Lily's low compatibility, but surprisingly, he's proven me wrong by warming up to the idea."

Looking up at the screen, the prodigy saw Lily in her room, playing with a toy set meant to teach her basic shapes. Like most babies, she was trying to fit the cube into the cylinder slot. Getting increasingly frustrated, Lisa found herself giggling as she watched Lily lift the top of the container and put the cube directly under the circular hole before closing it.

"A loophole, but you'll get it eventually my youngest sibling." Putting her head on her palm, "Perhaps my sisters are just a bit too spoiled and rather selfish, myself included in some regard. And yet, I've had little problems with Lily being my roommate; unless you account for the times she mindlessly wandered within unacceptable range of my tests, forcing me to clear her from immediately danger. Likewise, the issues of my siblings were easy to recognize, and I would've suggested everyone having their own room-"

"Dang it! Bathroom knob came off again!" Came Lynn's yell.

"If this house was not only stable but contained more living space..." Readjusting her glasses, Lisa glanced over at the massive computer. "Perhaps I may have miscalibrated the machine for compatibility detection. Or..." The brunette rubbed her chin in thought, narrowing her eyes as the massive cogs in her brain worked out a potential solution. "Or I could run a background check to see what exactly made the typical room arrangements work. After all, it was our _parents_ that assigned the rooms, not us." Glancing at the upper right corner of her monitors, Lisa knew she'd have to wait a bit before getting any answers. Twisting her chair around towards her bed, "But, that can wait. I will admit this though, "She climbed onto the bed and set her glasses on the nightstand. "Lincoln's old mattress is much more comforting than my old one..."

 **A/N: A bit of filler, but also laying some groundwork for future chapters. I have my own theories as to why the room arrangements we see in show work, with some being quite obvious like Lori and Leni (both the oldest teens in the house) share a room, and we've seen how different personalities like Lynn and Lucy work out after watching Space Invader. The others are somewhat of a mystery though. You can also expect to see Lincoln attempted to baby talk with Lily, maybe even teaching her some real words to use.**


	7. Here We Go Again

**A/N: I really haven't given this story any love lately. It's been mothballed for nearly 5 months after all; but there's no time like the present. While Lincoln has started practicing with Luan on learning to baby talk with Lily, I'll shed some light on the other roommate arrangements. If the last chapter was any clue, there will be more problems outside of what occurred with Luna and Lana. After all, if Lincoln's suggested arrangement only lasted a few hours, how long will it be until Lisa's eventually falls apart?**

 **Disclaimer: I own NOTHING from the Loud House.**

Lynn kicked the door open as she whistled to herself, bouncing a soccer ball on her head before shutting the exit with a well-placed back kick. Unlike her usual red and white sports jersey, she currently wore a black one with white stripes lining the shoulders; there was also the number 10 was etched on the front instead of the usual 1. As some of us Yanks would call it, soccer season was in full swing.

The first thing Lynn noticed upon entering the room was the lack of siblings piled on the couch. Eyeing the clock on the wall, it was almost 5; at least half of them should be home. The sound of footfalls on the upper floor let the jock know her suspicions were correct. Giving a light shrug, Lynn tucked the ball under her arm and muscled her way up the stairs. Looking to her right, she noticed the door to Lisa's and-wait, Lincoln sleeps there now. And Lola and Lori had the room across from his. A feminine voice could be heard coming from the twin's former room, but it didn't sound like Lola.

"And she's on the phone again." Lynn smirked to herself, walking up towards the room in front of her. "Might as well have that thing glued to her hand." She turned the knob and pushed the door open, only to find her vision immediately darken as soft object splattered on her face.

"Wow Lynn, didn't think you were skipping on dinner today." Came another feminine voice the athlete knew all too well.

The foil pan from the pie that hit her fell to the floor, revealing a pair of angry eyes under all the whipped cream. "Hah hah..." Lynn replied sarcastically before starting to swipe the food stuffs off her face. "What are you doing in my room?"

Luan raised a brow. "Uh, this is _my_ room now. You bunk with Leni, remember?"

"She's right." A monotonous voice added behind the jock, making Lynn give a sharp yelp. Large gobs of cream dropped off her face as she turned towards her poetic sister. "Your domain no longer intertwines with mine."

Getting over the surprise, Lynn let her brows knit together again. "Alright alright, I get it: opened the wrong door. Don't need to bite my head off for it." Brushing past the emo, Lynn briskly walked to her and Leni's room, shoving the door open and slamming it shut.

Lucy turned to Luan, eyeing the bent pie pan on the floor through her bangs. Unnoticeable to most, her usual frown deepened a bit. "That was meant for me, wasn't it?"

Luan gave a sheepish smile. "Innocent til proven guilty. Though I will admit it may or may not have been for you, or Lincoln."

Lucy squinted her eyes, detecting a bit of untruth in the comedian's words. After all, this was the same person who bleached her skin once. While she could voice her opinion now, the goth lover decided it'd be best to hold it over Luan's head later on. Giving her usual sigh, Lucy went over to her bed, hoping to find her poetry book to etch out another piece of literature; might even need to get Lincoln's advice on it as well.

Lynn dispelled an edgy breath as she leaned against the door frame. Practice was pretty invigorating, especially since she was able to score several shots against the opposing goalie. However, it wouldn't be a Lynn-style practice if she went without getting reprimanded by the coach for _something_. Star player she might be, but the family athlete always had a problem of letting herself get too 'into the spirit' by going overboard on her own teammates who were acting as "the enemy". It wasn't too bad this time; the goalie only suffered a mild blow to the stomach after catching the ball Lynn so expertly kicked at their face.

It was all going to be worth it though; there was a game against Beaverton tomorrow. Lynn pushed herself off the door, heading to the closet to make sure her sports attire was ready to deliver another gruesome defeat for the rival team. With a smile on her face, the brunette threw the door open to find her usual outfits hanging neatly on the rack. Normally, Lynn would just toss them in there, but Leni was always one to organize clothing.

"Let's see..." Lynn stuck her tongue out and narrowed her eyes as she swiped through her shirts. "Should I wear my lucky jersey, or those new ones Leni got me?..." She came across a set of flashy jerseys her sister picked out for her. The jock tapped her chin as she stared at the diamonds among her otherwise bland outfits; it just looked too nice to ruin with all the mud and grass she's used to rolling in. "Nah, this looks more like championship wear. Lucky shirt it is!" She swiped through more clothing. "Sides. It'll help to actually _get_ to the grand finale first."

Lynn finally got to the section where she kept her good luck jerseys; you know, the ones she never washed because they won her a couple championship games in the past? Her smile dropped the second her brain registered their absence.

"What the?..." Lynn poked around the other shirts she had hanging, making sure she didn't accidentally pass them. Looking down at the floor of the closet, "Where are my lucky jerseys?"

She twirled her head around, eyeing the area around her bed. Nothing was there either, but she did see a couple dirt stains in the carpet where one of them would be. The jock walked over to her bed, checking both sides before lifting the underside of the covers. Nothing. She knelt down to check under the bed, moving some sports equipment like a few missing balls and a bat out the way with the hope they might be buried under all the equipment.

Not even a shred of cloth.

Giving a frustrated growl, "WHERE ARE THOSE STUPID SHIRTS?!"

Lynn seethed as she stomped back over to her closet for a second check, forming the assumption that someone must've taken them. But who? None of her siblings were even _remotely_ interested in playing sports; well, except for Lori. She does golf, which Lynn considered a weak sport compared to something like football or Rugby.

Speaking of Lori, doesn't she always do the laundry?

Eyes widening, it all suddenly made sense. Lori must've gathered everyone's clothes to run them through the wash. It was Tuesday after all, the day she typically does all the laundry. With brows furrowed and exposed teeth grinding, Lynn stomped to the door and threw it open. The deafening sound echoed through the hallway as the other side of the frame bounced off the wall, making whatever siblings that were in the house flinch.

The eldest Loud sibling stopped her texting session mid type when she heard a loud banging. Seconds later, the door to the room was kicked wide open as Lynn stomped in. Lola, who had been working on her eyelashes, accidentally pulled a few out at the sudden entrance. Sharp pain coursed through her upper lid as her eye shit tight, with the six year old bringing a hand to her eye and gently rubbing the lid as her eye started to water. It felt as if a loose eyelash wound up getting in there. After massaging her eye enough, the pageant winner opened it to check the damage. The loose strand fell out, and her eye had a slight pink tint due to the irritation.

Noticing one too many strands plucked, Lola growled at her reflection before wheeling around in her seat. "Excuse you! Ever heard of _knocking?!_ "

Lori folded her arms as Lynn marched up to her, unfazed by the brunette's rage. "What do you want Lynn? You're interrupting my texting with Bobby."

"Did you wash my lucky jerseys?!" Lynn shouted as she pointed an accusatory finger at the blonde.

Lori rolled her eyes. "Like, ew! No! Even if I could, I wouldn't touch those nasty clothes you call jerseys since you _never_ wash them."

"Those things make _Lana_ smell like daisies when she's been in the mud..." Lola added, pinching her nose to enforce her point.

"Then why aren't any of them in my room?!" Lynn folded her arms. "I doubt Stinkoln would touch 'em since he sucks at sports, and you're the only other person in this house who plays something even remotely called a sport."

Lori narrowed her eyes. She was quite passionate about golfing, even having a couple trophies as a show of skill. That didn't make it any less of a sport than the brutal contact games Lynn always played in. "First off," She held up a finger, "Golfers don't wear jerseys; they wear T-shirts or polos. Second, I didn't touch your stupid shirts because I didn't even do the laundry yet. Third, why don't you ask Leni?" Throwing her hands in the air, "She sleeps in the _same room_ as you!"

"Guys!" A masculine voice whispered harshly. The girls turned to the door to see Lincoln poking his head in, his brows furrowed slightly in annoyance. "Can you keep it down? Lily's trying to sleep!"

Lynn whipped around, turning her glare towards the sole Loud boy. The boy flinched upon meeting her gaze, gripped the door handle tightly as he watched his sister taking off one of her cleats.

"Butt out Stinkoln!"

Lincoln shut the door just as the footwear impacted the spot where his face was, producing another loud bang. As if it couldn't get any worse, Lincoln began to hear a soft whimper coming from the room behind him.

"Dang it Lynn..." Lincoln sighed heatedly before walking back across the hall.

"Geez, overkill much?" Lola huffed.

"What?" Lynn turned to Lola. "It's not like he could've been any help."

"Lynn..." The 13 year old turned to the oldest sibling, meeting the perpetual glare Lori was aiming at her. Lynn immediately dropped her glare to that of a surprised look, to which Lori took advantage of. "Go ask Leni, and" She got up and promptly started shoving the athlete to the door. "Get out of our room!" With one final push, Lynn staggered into the hallway. When she turned around, she was met with the top of her shoe hitting her nose. "And you better apologize to Lily _and_ Lincoln!"

Instead of slamming the door shut like Lynn thought she would, Lori slowly closed the door until she heard a soft click. Lynn stared at the wooden frame for a few seconds before giving an annoyed huff. "Fine..." Sh3 growled, slipping her cleat back on. "Still doubt Leni would be the one who-"

Speak of whom they seek, and they shall receive. Leni hummed to herself as she walked up the stairs, with Lynn's jerseys hung on her arm; they appeared to be freshly cleaned. Lynn gave a gasp, to which Leni noticed her roommate and gave a warm smile.

"Hey Lynn! Guess what I have!" The fashionista held out one of the shirts to display its immense glory. "I used extra conditioner and fabric softener to get all the stains out."

"Leni!" Lynn practically screeched. "I kept them dirty for a reason!"

The older sibling raised a brow. "Huh? Why?"

Lynn snatched the jersey out of Leni's grasp, making the blond recoil a little. "This is the jersey I wore when I scored a critical win against Hazeltuckey during overtime with 5 seconds on the clock! It had the mud and grass stains to prove it!"

"But..." Leni grew confused, scratching the top of her head. "Wouldn't it just make the jersey itself lucky then? I mean, those stains were _really_ killing the look for it."

Lynn paused as she stared at the shirt in her hands. Granted, it looked way better now than the condition she ori left it in, but now it felt like the athlete was holding your run-of-the-mill jersey; there wasn't anything in particular that made it stand out aside from the fact she wore it on a particular day. However, the resident jock couldn't expect someone like _Leni_ to be aware of this since she wouldn't even touch mud unless it was supposed to be one of those gross facial masks.

Pinching the bridge of her nose, "Leni, it looks nice, but that's not the point. All that dirt and grime caked on it was a sign that this here," Lynn pointed at the shirt as she held it up, "Was broken in pretty darn well, it paid off, and a _hardcore winner_ owns this thing. How am I supposed to look like someone who went to heck and back scoring a win if I look clean? And trust me: with the sports I play, getting down in the mud is pretty much a requirement."

"Ooooh..." Leni replied, feeling guilty for what she thought was a good deed. "I'm sorry! I didn't think they meant that much to you."

"Look, just don't touch my jerseys again. Ok?" Lynn replied as she took the rest of them from the blonde before heading back to their room.

Leni watched her sister leave as a frown etched its way onto her face, feeling that her sister brushed off her apology even though she was genuine about it. Leni didn't think Lynn would be so touchy about her sports wear; heck, they went out and bought newer jerseys for her. Granted, they would probably get dirt on them later, but that didn't mean they couldn't be washed right? Besides, the fashionista felt her nose was about to fall off if she had to stand the smell any longer; not to mention the extra shower she had to take last night. But, it was clear Lynn didn't feel the same way on that end. Bowing her head in shame, Leni decided to head back down, hoping a smoothie might cheer her up.

* * *

Lincoln lied a now settled Lily back into her crib, pulling her favorite blanket over her small body as she shifted into a more comfortable position. He spent the last few minutes gently rocking her in his arms so she'd go back to sleep, a job his parents would normally do; they were still at work unfortunately, or on their way home at best. Not that he was complaining about putting Lily to sleep, but it really shouldn't have come to this. Here he was, sitting at his desk, quietly doing his homework, and all of a sudden Lynn has another one of her stupid rage fits over what he could assume was a jersey based on what he heard Lori say. This was later confirmed when he heard Lynn shouting at Leni over the same thing.

No indoor voice whatsoever...

"Ugh! Stupid Lynn and her dumb sports clothing! I hope this doesn't become another protocol issue..." Lincoln quietly mulled to himself. "Last thing I need is having to flee the house again." He glanced at the door. "Or them hogging this room to 'cool off'..." The boy shifted his gaze from the door to his sleeping sister. While Lincoln had reason to doubt his sisters would occupy this room since Lily was in here as well, there was a chance that they may not be so keen to occupy Lisa's new room with all the lab equipment and chemicals she would have without a doubt stored in there.

Should we also mention said chemicals made her brain turn green?

Lincoln shuddered at the thought. As he continued to watch Lily's body rise and fall ever so slightly, his lips tightened into a frown as a bout of determination set in. If things did escalate, it may not be fair to him; but it definitely wouldn't be fair to Lily. They couldn't just remove a baby from the room just cause they were having a hissy fit, and if one of his sisters decided to remove _him_ from the room but keep Lily around...well, that would show his siblings have an unfair amount of bias against him as their brother.

"Like heck I'm gonna let that happen." Turning back to his desk, Lincoln's heated gaze studied the math problems he had been working on. His finger softly tapped the page, which soon became more forced as the boy found it hard to concentrate with this little familial dilemma presenting itself. Lincoln gave a slight glance at his phone, which was resting next to his laptop. Giving the page one last tap, he grabbed the phone and started searching for his parents' numbers. Hopefully a short, sweet text message would get them to deal with this mess.

* * *

Lori flopped back on the bed after forcing her whining sister out of the room, a scowl still etched on her face as she grabbed her phone once more. She looked up at the door when she heard Lynn yelling at what sounded like Leni. Flipping her legs over the side of the bed, Lori was about to get up and diffuse the situation when it sounded like the two had reached some sort of agreement. Raising a brow, the teen got up anyways, opening the door to find an empty hallway. Giving a shrug, Lori left the door halfway open as she returned to the bed. Her phone started to vibrate as the ring tone echoed in the room, and from the caller ID, it wasn't her boyfriend.

"What's Whitney want?" Lori muttered to herself as she picked it up, tapping the 'call button with her thumb. "Hello?..." She sat on the bed. "No? What about Becky?"

Lola finished putting on a fake eyelash since it'd take a while for the real ones to grow back. She blinked a few times to get used to the foreign feeling, soon finding herself eyeing Lori's reflection as the older blonde let out a gasp.

"Nooooo. Really?! I mean, I knew she was pretty thin, but I didn't think she was into _that_. Is that even healthy for her?" Silence followed for a few seconds. "I mean, there's no shame on gaining a little weight, but you don't want to be _too_ light." Lori lied back on the bed. "You'd literally have to pig out nonstop for someone like her to even get noticeably chubby."

"What are you talking about?" Lola asked, turning her head around.

Lori lifted her head a bit to meet the princess' gaze, ignoring Whitney as she started to drone on. "It's something you'll learn about when you're older."

Lola folded her arms, biting her cheek to avoid giving a half-thought rant. If there was one thing in this house she hated the most, it was those 3 words everyone would tell her or Lana when they asked for about something that peeked their interest.

 _Hey Mom/Dad, what does this mean?_

 _Oh uh...I'll tell you when you're older sweetie._

Even persisting with the questions wouldn't get her parents and some of her siblings to open up and give her the info she desired. While Lana would eventually shrug and think about something later, it infuriated Lola since she couldn't even resort to blackmailing her siblings; it'd just get her in even more trouble.

"Well it's hard to ignore it if I can hear everything your saying..." The six year old growled. "All I got from it is something about some girl named Becky eating. What the heck does that even mean?"

"Like I said Lola," Lori spoke in a stern tone as she sat up, covering the lower part of her phone with her hand. "You'll get it when your older." She put the phone back to her ear. "Not like you'd understand it anyway. Oh, not you Whitney. I was talking to my sister."

Lola's pupils shrank as her brows furrowed into a sharp-V. "Excuse me?!" The younger blonde hopped out of the chair and stormed over to the older girl just as she appeared to get wrapped into another conversation. Lola surprised Lori as she snatched her phone out of her hand. "What are you guys even talking about?! None of what you're saying makes sense!"

"Give me my phone back!" Lori shouted, grasping the top of the device. Unfortunately, Lola had a vice grip on it. The two blondes started tugging the phone back and forth, with Lori eventually lifting Lola off the floor in an attempt to shake her off. "It's already bad enough that you ruined my talk with Bobby last night!"

 _"Um...is this a bad time?..."_ Whitney spoke a loud as one of their fingers touched the speaker button.

"I'll call you back!" Lori spoke evenly before thumbing the 'end call' button. With a hard glare forming, she grabbed Lola's arm, her fingers turning white as she applied pressure to the limb. "Let. Go. You little...twerp!" The teen growled with each tug.

Eventually, her hard grip started to hurt the younger girl's arm, as Lola gave a sharp yelp before she relinquished her hold on the phone. Lori outstretched her arm before letting Lola hit the floor tooshie first. The pageant winner held a scowl on her face as she massaged her arm, noticing the imprint Lori left on her forearm covering of her gloves. Lori would've softened her glare upon noticing the fact Lola's eyes looked a little watery; but with someone like her, she couldn't afford to show compassion lest the bratty princess use that to her advantage.

"Now listen here Lola." Lori held a finger in front of Lola's nose. "I'm the oldest in this house, and I'm not going to let you walk all over me like you do with everyone else. When I tell you to stop, that means _STOP_! You have no business prying into the conversation of others, _especially_ when they tell you that you're too young to understand it! This was literally something I could only talk to Leni about!"

"Fine then!" Lola stopped rubbing her arm before standing up, her fists placed to her side as she glared back at Lori. "Why don't you go talk to her instead?!" She stomped over to the door, throwing it open and stomping down the hall.

Lori walked over to the open doorway, watching her sister huffing and puffing before the pageant winner shut the door to the bathroom. Given that there were a couple tears in her eyes during the stare down, Lori wouldn't put it past her that Lola probably wanted to shed a few in private. Part of her felt bad about the way she had to manhandle the little girl, but she could be about as stubborn as Lynn; it's better to get the message across as quick as possible unless you want to get dragged in a drawn out brawl. That was probably why the twins fight so much anyways. Giving a sigh, and recalling the muffled shouting from earlier, Lori headed down to check on Leni. Hopefully she wasn't sticking her head in the freezer again.

* * *

First thing Rita wanted to do when she got home was to take time to decompress from her job. Instead, she had to perform her never ending motherly duties by checking on one of her daughters. Lincoln's text was very concerning about the possibility of another sister fight protocol; perfectly understandable, given how much of a mess the last one created. It should go without saying that the girls had been grounded for a short time due to trashing the living room, with both Lori and Leni receiving a longer sentence than the others due to initiating a situation the parents originally thought was more serious than it actually was. In addition, they had been told to return their dresses.

"If you can't learn to not fight over wearing the same outfit, then you might as well march yourselves back to the store and return it." Rita told them after giving the two a stern lecture a while after everyone stopped fighting. Hearing that Lynn was getting fussy over one of her jerseys made the mother want to nip this in the bud as quick as possible.

Turning around, Rita watched the taxi she took home sputter down the road. Nearly every day, she had to spend $20 just getting to and from work, which was only about a 15 minute drive from the house. Rita gave a loud sigh, "I really need to talk to Lynn about getting a new car..."

Opening the door, "Kids, I'm home!" She announced, half expecting a stampede of bodies to come running at her. Surprisingly, all she got was a loud greeting from the kitchen, courtesy of her oldest daughter. Raising a brow, the matriarch walked into the dining room, stopping short of the kitchen when she heard Leni talking.

"I just wanted to help her. I didn't think she'd be so mean about it..." Slurping was heard, which Rita assumed might've been a smoothie given how drawn out it sounded.

"You did the right thing throwing that disgusting pile in the wash. Honestly, I don't know why Lynn thinks those jerseys bring her luck. She could be wearing anything during her games and think it's got some sort of powers or whatever. I mean, we literally learned that whole luck thing was stupid after Lincoln got chased by a pack of dogs for 5 hours because he was wearing that squirrel suit." Came Lori's voice. Rita poked around the entryway to see them leaning against the counter near the sink.

"But, what if it _does_ give her powers?"

Lori shook her head. "Leni, I love you as a sister, but come on. That's literally impossible." She took out her phone after it buzzed for a full second. "Besides, superpowers don't work like that."

Rita gave a half-lidded look at nothing in particular. "Of course..." She muttered, turning away from the kitchen to head up the stairs.

She opened the door directly in front of the stairs, only to become confused when she found Luan and Lucy staring at her. "Luan, what are you doing in here?"

"Everyone switched rooms a couple days ago, remember?"

"Ooooh…" Rita mentally facepalmed at that little fact. "So, how's the arrangement going for you two?"

Lucy gave a light shrug. "Ok, I suppose..."

"Well, it's still a little hard to get Lucy to laugh, but I'm not complaining." Luan stated with a smile.

 _"That's because half your puns aren't really funny..."_ The dark girl sighed inwardly.

Rita smiled a little. "At least you two are getting along. The others..." She gave a slight downcast look as she backed out into the hall. "Not so much." Upon closing the door, the mother turned to what was now Lynn and Leni's room. Lightly rapping her knuckles on the door, "Lynn?"

"Yeah mom?" Came the jock's muffled voice.

Rita opened the door, spotting her athletic daughter lying on her bed as she tossed a ball into the air and catching it mid drop. "We need to talk."

"Ok?" Lynn sat up. "What's up?"

"Are you doing ok?" Rita pushed the door open further as she stepped into the room. "I heard you and Leni got into a fight earlier."

Lynn gave a half-lidded stare. Part of her was annoyed that someone decided to be a snitch, but it wasn't too surprising that her mother would eventually hear about it. Privacy was pretty lackluster in this house. "Oh, that." The jock gave a shrug. "Yeah, we did. But we got over it."

Rita wasn't too convinced, giving the young teen a quizzical stare. "Are you sure? Leni's still a bit upset about the whole thing."

"All I said was that she can't touch my jerseys anymore." Lynn folded her arms. "Sure, she washed them. But I didn't want them to be washed."

"Your _lucky_ jerseys you mean?"

"Yeah." Lynn gave a wide grin, only to drop it upon noticing the disapproving look her mother was giving her. "Uh...was it something I said?"

"Lynn..." Rita took a seat on Leni's bed. "Don't you think you were a bit too harsh with Leni? Yes, those are your favorite jerseys, but she was just doing you a favor. Not only that, and sorry to say this, but your room stinks when you don't wash your clothes. I can't imagine what kind of bacteria or..." She mentally pictured a mud stained jersey that smelled like someone dumped it in 4 years worth of trash. "Whatever gross things might be on it. If you can take a shower, why can't you afford to wash your uniforms?"

"That's the thing mom. If I do that, then they'll just be an ordinary jersey. I wouldn't have the sweat and tears on it that proves it was used during a time that I did something great. Besides, no one's willing to tangle with me when they see how hard I worked, that's why I consider them lucky. And-"

Rita brought a hand to her forehead in a bout of frustration. "Lynn..." She interrupted the athlete before she could continue. "The reason no one wants to 'tangle with you'..." The matriarch quoted on her fingers, "Is because you smell worse than Lana when she's been in the dumpster. And I thought you got over the whole 'luck labeling' after what happened last time..."

Lynn gave a nervous smile. "Old habits?"

The matriarch folded her arms. "Well 'Ms. Old Habits', I don't want this to become another problem like what happened between Lori and Leni when it came to them buying the same dress. And, I want you to wash your uniforms _every week_ from now on. If I smell something funny in your room and turns out to be your sports gear, you're going to earn yourself a grounding. You don't have a room to yourself, and even if you did, it shouldn't smell like Lily's diapers."

Lynn's face fell a bit as her mother started to get up. "But Mom-"

"Ah Ah!" Rita interrupted again, "No 'buts' young lady." Without another word, she left the room.

The brunette was left with her mouth hanging open, staring at the empty doorway before she started regaining control of her body. Her teeth clenched together as a growl was building in the back of her throat. With her fingers curled into a fist, she raised her hand and brought it down hard on her pillow. Feathers exploded out of the torn fabric, coating the bed in a shower of light litter. Lynn didn't know who blew the whistle on her, but she had some reason to believe it was either Leni or Lori. Or even Lola since she always had a knack for tattling on people. With her hands itching to punch something, Lynn decided her bag in the basement suddenly made itself useful. Her other option was to spar with Lincoln, but she doubted he'd be up for anything concerning her.

Plus, she might wind up going overboard like she did on her teammate, which was the last thing she needed right now.

In the master bedroom, Rita set her purse on the nightstand next to the bed, soon unleashing a sigh of relief as she could finally get off her feet for a couple minutes. She had a feeling Junior was going to be in a fussy mood for a while, which meant she'd _hopefully_ take it out on her punching bag in the basement and not on her siblings. There was the brief thought of fixing up dinner for the kids, but one glance at the clock told her she wouldn't have to; her husband was going to be home any minute now. With that said, Rita kicked her shoes off before flopping back on the mattress, letting another sigh escape as she wiggled her toes a bit.

Just as she closed her eyes, "Mother."

Rita flinched at the sudden intrusion. Lifting her head, she could just barely see her second youngest daughter holding a notebook tucked in her arm with a pencil resting in the space between her ear and hair.

"Sorry to interrupt your need for rest, but I have an important question to ask regarding the current room arrangements of my siblings."

Rita raised a brow. "I thought it was something you kids came up with."

"It is, but I'm referring to the previous arrangements." Lisa took out her notebook, opening it to the first page. "I've already deduced that our room assignments were the way they were due to the proximity in ages, as well as the similarities in our personalities, but it does raise questions as to why Lynn and Lucy shared a room; not to mention the case in which my 4 oldest siblings shared a room with each other due to either similar tastes in the case of Lori and Leni, and the situation in which both Luna and Luan are entertainers."

It took Rita a few seconds to process what her daughter was getting at, her mouth soon forming an 'O' shape once she had her thoughts together. "Well," The matriarch sat up. "You were right in how we gave rooms due to age. Now, we didn't expect our family to grow so big. After Lynn was born, all the girls had their own rooms. But then we had Lincoln, and myself and your father started to realize we would have to start making you kids share rooms for a change. At first, there was a lot of worry since the girls were used to having their own space; and because Lynn was the youngest at the time, we set up Lincoln's crib in her room."

Lisa had been writing down bullet points on this explanation, stopping when her mother gave a short pause.

The matriarch formed a small frown. "As expected, she didn't like it (at first). She kept taking things from Lincoln, claiming they were hers, making him cry several times a day; didn't help she was going through her Terrible Twos with the 'mine phase' being the worst. But, she eventually came acround and even started playing with your brother more than your other sisters. Then, a few years later, Lucy came along; after seeing how well things worked out between Lynn and Lincoln, we paired her with Luan." Rita let out a soft giggle. "It was always funny watching her try to make Lucy laugh, but she'd just stare at her wondering what she was doing."

"So they were originally roommates before they got switched out?" Lisa inquired.

"Yep." Rita folded her arms. "It was like that until the twins came. It was already surprising enough that I was bearing twins, but then we had to scramble around to figure out where they were going to sleep. In the end, we decided to give them their own little space since we felt it wouldn't be right to separate them at such a young age. I read from a baby book that twins tend to be inseparable. So, we decided to have Leni move in with Lori since they were pretty close in age and got along pretty well even before she switched rooms. I mean, it makes sense since Leni is literally the first real friend Lori had. Her old room is what the twins have slept in for years now."

"So, I assume during this time Luna was the only sibling left with her own space?"

"Mmhmm. She had the room you and Lily slept in. To be honest, she felt like she was missing out on something being the only child that didn't have to share a room. However, she got her wish after you were born."

Lisa hummed as she tapped her pencil against the side of her head. "Interesting. Even Lincoln had us paired up the first time we had issues with our respective cohabitants. However, this doesn't explain the room situation we've grown accustomed to for the past year and a half. I'm a tad surprised even I can't recall the exact reason."

"Don't worry dear, I was getting to that part." Rita crossed her legs. "When your father and I found out I was pregnant with Lily, we realized there may be a possibility that one room would have to be shared by 3 kids. And at the same time, the oldest ones were getting to that point of wanting their own space again. Lori and Leni each asked us individually to be put in a new room, but that was hard to do given how the attic and basement aren't ideal places to sleep. So we looked to see what we could do upstairs and-"

"You came to the conclusion of retrofitting the lenin closet into a small bedroom?" Lisa surmised.

"Yep. However, while we thought about having Lily sleep in there, it wouldn't be good for her in the long run as babies need plenty of space to move around and explore. Plus, we were worried one of us might hit her with the door just checking on her. In the end, after carefully thinking it over, we thought Lincoln deserved to have a room of his own. He was still small enough to fit in it comfortably, and..." Rita looked up at the door momentarily to make sure no one was prying in on what she considered sensitive information. "He's almost at that age where he'll actually start to _notice_ girls, if you get what I mean. It'd be very awkward for him to share a room with one of his older sisters when he gets to that point, and his younger ones might ask him questions he wouldn't feel comfortable answering in regards to..." Rita paused for a moment, wondering how to word this carefully. "The 'Aging Process'."

"Understandable." Lisa nodded.

"So, we were gonna have Lily share with Lynn, but Lynn didn't want to share her room with a baby again. Part of me thinks she was still miffed at having her roommate taken from her, but she did say she didn't want to be stuck on 'diaper changing duty' 24/7. Me and your father could tell she still wanted some kind of company; even though she kept putting on a tough face and telling us she was ready to be on her own." The matriarch giggled a bit. "So, we had Lucy move in with her due to them being relatively close to one another on the age bracket, and Luan invited Luna to her room so Luna wouldn't feel lonely."

"I see..." Lisa rubbed her chin with her finger. "That does explain why I had my own living space until being introduced to my youngest sibling. In fact, there was some consensus about not wanting to share a room with Lily among my siblings; this may have been largely related to the aforementioned odious smell she leaves behind. But how did Lincoln react upon having his own quarters?"

"Oh, he was a bit excited and antsy; it was hard to tell with him. He liked having his own room, but after having shared a space for so long we sometimes found him having snuck into Lynn and Lucy's room for the first few months. He eventually learned to appreciate his own privacy though. Speaking of which," Rita uncrossed her legs as she leaned forward a bit. "Why did you ask about this? Aren't the new arrangements working for you guys?"

"It would seem so since I had carefully calibrated my computer to match my siblings with those they had the most compatibility with." The prodigy flipped back through her notes. "Aside from myself, Lincoln, and Lily, the others matched at 90%. However, with the recent snake incident between Luna and Lana along with the confrontation between Leni and Lynn (and at least two between Lori and Lola) I can't help but feel I may have missed something in my calculations. I also noticed that Lucy has begun having issues with Luan making puns in her sleep, something Luna didn't seem to mind. Then again, after studying her sleep regiments, Luna always has headphones covering her auditory canals blasting at a frequency that would cancel out whatever noise Luan makes in her sleep." Slamming the book shut, "Already, Lincoln has proven my theory wrong that those with low compatibility won't enjoy cohabitation. However, I have reason to believe that if he were to be paired with any other sibling besides our infantile sister, he'd likely develop the same problems everyone else is experiencing."

Rita pursed her lips. To be honest, Lincoln and Lily getting along was easy to see: hardly anyone could resist the cuteness of an infant. With her other daughters however, it started to feel like they tried to avoid the problems they had with their old roommates, only to find challenges with their new ones.

"Have you kids tried to fix the problems you've had with your previous roommates? I mean, before you guys started the switch."

"To be frank, I've had no issues with Lily. My move was merely to go along with this experiment so no one else would suspect that I'm playing favorites." Lisa played with her pencil by moving it between her fingers. "Lincoln appeared to develop some contempt on the issue, but that has passed as far as I know. Everyone else for the matter, has not made attempts to make peace, instead preferring to find an alternative solution to the measure."

"Well, I think it's nice that you're trying to find a way to make sure everyone is happy sweetie." Rita replied, rubbing the top of her daughter's hair. She raised a brow upon noticing the young girl's entire hairdo move with her hand, to which Lisa corrected quickly. The mother decided to ask about it later, getting back to her main point. "But sometimes, you just can't please everyone. All of you kids have similar interests, but in the end, everyone is just different. Maybe if things don't go as they should during this switch, you guys could try to work things out with your former roommates."

"Mmmmm…." Lisa stopped fiddling with her pencil before placing it back on her ear. "That may be the only solution if this experiment continues to deteriorate. However, I am uncertain if Lincoln would want his old accommodations back given the connection he has with Lily at this point; not to mention the increased floor space."

"No one said he _had_ to change back if you guys do. You don't have to either."

"True. Plus, I don't have to worry about Lily being in potential danger should something go awry with my studies. Anyway, thank you for the information Mother. Hopefully our current situation won't evolve into something beyond our capability of repair."

 _POOF!_

 _THUD!_

"Sigh...seriously?..." Came Lucy's muffled voice.

"Sorry, but I wanted to see if this prank was safe enough." Luan answered back with a light chuckle. A moment of silence followed before Luan was heard again. "No mild bruising or anything. Crash course passed!"

"But my _bed_ though?..." Shuffling could be heard, presumably Lucy getting off the floor. "You're lucky I didn't have Edwin sitting on it..."

"And now, I'm beginning to see why Lucy and Luan would _not_ make great roommates." Lisa stated in an unsurprised tone, jotting this little tidbit down before walking out the room. Her mother followed, likely to check on the two in case Lucy was injured.

 **A/N: As we can all see, there's trouble in paradise. Some might find it unsavory to reference Brawl, but given where I was going with this situation, the comparison was inevitable. However, I think I did a good job showing some examples as to why the current room assignments wouldn't work out in the long run; but have yet to show why the canon room assignments worked out well despite the obvious problems Room with a Feud showed. Granted, Rita explained this a bit, but there are things like how Lola can stand Lana's animals and Lucy can tolerate Lynn's habits. Answered questions just breed more questions.**


	8. Starting Over

**A/N: The origin of the room arrangements has been discovered, and tensions are starting to flare amongst the siblings. How long will it take before the powder keg is alight and everyone demands another change? Sooner than you think. After all, people can be very confrontational with their problems. Plus, I'd rather not have this drag on longer than needed.**

 **Disclaimer: I own NOTHING from the Loud House.**

Dinner went off without a hitch; no food fights, no name-calling, no sending idle threats across the table, and Lily kept her diaper on the entire time as Lincoln spoon-fed her. If this was an average family, this would be the norm. But for the Louds, it was rather...unsettling. Outside of the usual "how was your day" questions floating around the table, the kids were strangely silent as they preferred to focus on their meal instead of whatever gossip they learned during school. Lori munched absentmindedly on her food, staring with empty eyes over the table. As she panned to her right, the teen spotted Lola giving her a harsh glare, making Lori raise a brow.

 _"Is she_ STILL _mad about earlier?"_ Lori thought as this unintentional stare down continued.

The longer it persisted, the more Lori started to feel irritated. Unless Lola wasn't listening earlier, Lori made her intentions _very_ clear. It's not her fault that Lola had to be such a brat all the time; how could Lana even stand her for so long? Oh right, they just fight. A lot. And that was something Lori wanted to avoid. She couldn't cut loose on someone 11 years younger than her. That'd be like Lincoln punching Lily for crying out loud. Plus, while Lola may have a lot of hot air in her system, she was no where near as strong as Lori. Possibly much more fierce, but she still lacked the required endurance and strength to match. The eldest could use her full strength on someone like Lynn though; that girl could bench press the couch if she wanted to. But Lori just couldn't hit a little kid like that.

And before you ask, the text-obsessed girl would be the first to tell you that those massive sibling fights don't count since no one gets seriously hurt.

Adjacent to the oldest sibling, Lynn slouched in her chair as she ate, savoring the taste of turkey loaf before it slid down her throat. She noticed the glare Lola was giving, originally thinking it was aimed at her but realized it was directed at Lori; the teen had her eyes narrowed at the pageant winner right now. Giving her own questioning stare, Lynn wondered what was eating them (Luan wasn't the only one who could make food puns) before noticing Leni, who was sitting just left of Luna; the musician was next to the fuming princess. To her surprise, when the fashionista gazed at the jock's direction, she immediately went back to staring at her plate as if Lynn might chide her for something. Granted, Lynn was a bit miffed at the new requirements her mom placed on her, but she was _mostly_ over it.

Guess Leni wasn't...

Lincoln spanned over the table as he wiped gravy stains from Lily's mouth; the infant gave short giggles, even trying to eat the napkin before Lincoln had to pull it away from her. Seems he wasn't the only person to notice the uncomfortable tension falling upon the family, as his parents and even Lisa were showing signs of wariness. Luna and Lana seemed relatively chill, so to speak; they didn't attempt to make eye contact, and if they did, they seemed to ignore each other. Lucy was quiet like always, though it seemed a little uncharacteristic for Luan to _NOT_ crack a joke at a time like this. Everyone heard about the airbag prank from earlier, but maybe Lucy managed to silence the comedian with her own moody attitude? That would be a first.

Either way, there were too many problems going on that this couldn't be ignored; if it was, they could fester into something no one wanted to deal with. Being the caring brother he was, Lincoln felt he needed to take action now; plus, if last week was any proof, his sisters' problems would eventually become _his_ problems. Taking one of the napkins, he etched out a quick note before tapping Lynn.

The jock glanced at him before noticing the scratched out note. The boy pointed towards Lori, after which Lynn nodded and lightly elbowed the older teen. Breaking off from Lola's perpetual glare, Lori looked at Lynn and noticed the napkin. Raising her eyebrows in surprise, the blonde took it, taking a second to stare at the white paper before catching the freshly scribbled sentence on the white fabric.

 _Sibling meeting after dinner? - Lincoln_

Now that she thought about it, and after looking at how thick the air was with all the tension, a meeting sounded like a good idea. Lori reached into her pocket, taking out her phone and selected the large group chat all of the siblings (sans Lily) were connected to.

 _Sibling meeting in 20 minutes. Don't be late. - Lori_

* * *

"So why are we doing this today? Don't we have our meetings on Wednesdays?" Lucy asked, her hands planted in between her legs as she sat at the foot of Lynn's bed.

"And on that note, why does it have to be in here?" Lola whined, pinching her nostrils closed. "This room smells like week-old cheese!"

Lana sniffed around before her nose drew her to the bed sheets the twins were sitting on. She took a big whiff before casually shrugging, "Eh, it's not that bad. Smells like grass, sweat, and a hint of" She paused upon sniffing the sheets again. Her lips parted to form a wide grin seconds later. "MUUUUUD!"

Lola's pupils shrank to the size of peas before letting out a shrill scream. She scampered off Lynn's bed and jumped onto Leni's, uttering an 'ew' every two seconds. "It's gonna take forever to get that stinky smell out!"

"Then why were you sitting on _my_ bed?" Lynn smirked a little as Lola threw a piercing glare her way.

"I should've known it was your bed. At least _Leni_ has some class!"

Soon enough, the rest of the siblings started to voice their own opinions on the matter, even throwing in statements that had little to do with Lola's sensitivity or Lynn's bed.

Lori, who had been standing by Leni's desk, lifted a shoe and banged it on the wood like a gavel. "Guys, guys! Can we focus please?!" She asked in a commanding tone. Once the chatter settled down, the oldest sibling cleared her throat. "Alright, now that we don't have anymore distractions, I hereby call this sibling meeting to order. Lincoln, " She pointed the shoe towards the white haired Loud, "Since this was your idea, you have the floor."

Lincoln nodded before lifting Lily out of his lap and setting her on the floor. He walked over to Lori's position before turning to address everyone. "So, it's been a few days since we switched rooms again, and-"

"What?" Lynn scoffed. "You're not complaining about bunking with Lily already are you?"

Luan smiled as the opportunity for a joke presented itself. "Need extra diapers in your room?"

Lincoln furrowed his brows slightly as he frowned at the two. Lily blew a raspberry at them, a hand tugged at the seam of her diaper as if they were just _begging_ to give her a reason to throw it. "Actually, me and Lily have been getting along pretty well. If anything, I'd say the complaints lie with _you_ guys." He pointed at his non-infant siblings. Before they could raise a fuss, "Which brings me to my next question: are you guys ok with the current arrangement?" Lincoln rubbed the back of his head. "I know my suggestions didn't work out, but you guys seem to be at each other's throats more than ever after Lisa sorted this out."

The girls looked amongst each other, namely their current roommates.

"As long as Lana keeps her pets away from my stuff," Luna spoke indifferently, folding her arms as she leaned against the headboard of Leni's bed. "We're cool."

Lana gave a dry laugh. "I let them go wherever they please. Sides', they need their own space anyway."

The musician let out a short growl. "They'd have their own space if you're stop bringing them into the house! Yesterday, I found your stupid rat friends in my drum set!"

Lana's eyes narrowed as she gripped one of Lynn's pillows, gearing up to chuck it at the older girl. "Don't talk about Bitey like that!"

Luna slammed her hands into the mattress, leaning forward as if she dared Lana to do what she thinks she was going to do. "Seriously dude! How did Lola even put up with you?!"

"Easy. You gotta show 'em whose boss." Lola replied, taking a moment to glance at her nails. "Once they realize whose the _real_ queen of the jungle, they'll know their place."

"Oh, like how you tried to pry into my personal business like you _always_ do?" Lori pointed out, tapping a finger against the desk in agitation.

"I was _trying_ to be nice about it!" Lola retorted, her hand tightening into a fist. "Maybe I should just get my own room so I don't have to listen to your stupid conversations that I can't follow all day!"

"Come to think of it, that would be a good idea." Lucy stated in a low tone.

"What do you mean?" Luan glanced at the dark girl.

Lucy gave her trademark groan. "No offense Luan, but it's not easy to admit this..." Turning her head towards the comedian, "Your puns stink, especially when you talk in your sleep. And your pranks are starting to get on my nerves..."

Luan was dumbfounded by this. Granted, she knew Lucy was probably a little mad about the prank she pulled earlier (and maybe the other two before that) but she didn't think it'd be enough to get her on the goth lover's bad side already. "But...I thought..."

"Also, Edwin is starting to grow annoyed with Mr. Coconuts. I wish I didn't have to say it, but I need to be honest...he thinks Mr. Coconuts should date a wood chipper."

Ok, those sounded like fighting words. Luan furrowed her brows as her teeth clenched together, a cold verbal lashing building up in her throat as she stared down a clearly unfazed Duchess of Darkness. "Well, you never were a ball of sunshine anyway! At least the gloomy teens at the last party we went to actually managed a chuckle!"

Lucy gave the brunette a blank stare from behind her bangs. "No one really laughs at mimes Luan. Plus, they laughed because you slipped on a rolling pin." The emo repositioned herself to get comfortable. "It's probably the stalest form of comedy..."

Luan's eyes widened a bit at that remark. "Stalest form of..." She spoke in a quiet tone before her anger returned with a vengeance. "You wouldn't know stale even if you looked in the mirror!"

Lucy's usual frown deepened a bit, her eyes narrowing in a threatening manner. "Says the girl who can't handle criticism..."

"If I can't handle criticism," Luan pointed a finger at Lucy, "Then that makes you a hypocrite!"

"What are you talking about?..."

Luan smirked, walking over to the emo and knelt down next to her. Cupping a hand around her ear, the comedian uttered two words. "Clogged. Toilet."

The younger girl widened her eyes to the point Luan was able to make them out past the dark strands of hair. In a flurry of movement, Lucy stood up to her full height to look her sister directly in the eyes. "Take that back!" She spat through clenched teeth.

The comedian only gave a wide grin as she easily towered over Lucy. Leaning down until their noses were just inches apart, "Why don't you _make_ me? Guess we know now you don't have a thick skin after all."

Unfortunately for Luan, there was a reason why Lucy could handle Lynn in their little squabbles. Lucy immediately opened up her palm and, with reflexes so quick that Lynn would be proud, smashed her hand against Luan's cheek. The other siblings flinched upon a loud smack echoing in the room. Luan stumbled back until she bumped into the side of Leni's bed, slouching to the floor in a daze. She had little time to react before Lucy pounced her and started slapping her face in a way that resembled a kid throwing a tantrum.

None of the other siblings moved to separate them, either being in a state of shock or finding the whole thing amusing.

"Guess we also know Lisa's computer was full of baloney." Luna chuckled as Lucy continued to slap their comedic sister.

Lynn nodded. "Yeah. At this point, I'd rather have my own room."

Lincoln furrowed his brows slightly. "That's not what you thought when I got my own room."

"So? I grew up." The athlete gave a light shrug. She sent a grin Lincoln's way before responding with, "Unlike you, who still sleeps with a stuffed toy. That's probably why you and Lily get along so well."

Lisa, who stayed relatively quiet throughout the meeting as she wrote down the issues between each roommate, couldn't help the rage building inside her gut at the jab towards her calculations. Her pencil lightly stabbed the paper she was using, almost punching a hole through it. "And that's coming from someone who can't afford to not stay silent for 20 seconds?"

"I told you before sis," Luna folded her arms, "Ain't no one able to me how to play my axe."

"I think the numerous noise complaints we get say otherwise..." Lisa directed her attention to the musician. "And another thing I'd like to add is that I _precisely_ calibrated my machine to take into account everyone's personalities, mannerisms, blood type, and similar interests. I didn't account for age as that is how our current situation came up."

"Uhhh..." Leni started, a bit lost in the conversation.

"In short," Lisa adjusted her glasses when they started to slide down the bridge of her nose. "I'm saying that you ignoramuses are hard to please no matter what happens. Besides, how do you expect to get your own room when this house is incapable of having each tenant with their own space?"

At that point, the room became cluttered with arguments being thrown every which way. A few argued with Lisa about the fact she had Lincoln's old room, with said Loud boy arguing with Lynn on why he still has Bun Bun as a comfort item. In the midst of it all, Luan finally managed to push Lucy off her, who wound up elbowing Lana in the face. The mud lover yelped as she covered her nose, immediately shoving the emo away with one hand once she got past the sudden blast of pain. Lucy then stumbled into Leni, which made the blonde accidentally smack Lola on the side of her head as she flailed around to catch her balance. The pageant winner immediately sought retaliation and opted to jump on the fashionista as she landed on her own bedspread. Unfortunately, Leni pushed away at the last moment, causing Lola to tumble into Lisa and Luna who were in the middle of reigniting a previous argument.

Sensing something she didn't want take part in, Lily whined as she hurriedly crawled over to Lincoln and Lori, who stood still next to in front of the desk as they watched their other siblings descend into chaos.

Luan jumped on Lucy, who tumbled with her on the floor kicking up dust and debris in their path as each girl tried to gain the advantage or pin the other. Soon enough, individual fights began to break put amongst the siblings, eventually joining together to become a classic Loud Sibling brawl.

"Um..." Lincoln started as he picked up their infant sister. "Should we do something?"

"I'm literally lost for words right now Lincoln...and I'd rather not get caught up in all of that." Lori responded, unable to pick out who's who in the dust cloud that had hands and feet flying everywhere.

Soon, they trio heard someone chomping on what was hopefully an arm. "Ow! Lana!" Lynn yelled.

"AAAAH! Stop tugging my earring dude!" Luna could be heard next.

"It's not even real! You just pierced your lobes with paperclips!" Lisa retorted, followed by what sounded like a fist meeting glasses.

As the fighting continued to worsen, Lily started to become unsettled. It was unknown whether she was shocked or confused at the whole situation, but it she was getting to the point that she wanted to get away from it all. The baby tugged the sleeve of Lincoln's shirt, but he seemed too preoccupied watching his sisters' quarrel. Lily looked back at the dust cloud, a small whine soon escaping her as she began to tug his sleeve a little harder. Her whines started to get louder as the baby began to bounce around in his arm.

Lincoln blinked a few times as he broke out of his stupor. Looking down at his littlest sister, "Lily?"

By this point, it was already too late. Lily started to become fussy and began to wail her head off. Lincoln and Lori cringed a bit due to being in close proximity to the crying baby. In spite of how loud Lily was, it still wasn't enough to dispel the sibling brawl before them. Lincoln wondered what was making Lily so upset; she had just eaten so she couldn't be hungry, and after (almost regrettably) sniffing her diaper, she hadn't soiled herself either. Maybe this was one of those things were babies just cry without reason, like his mom said.

However...that was starting to make less sense the more Lincoln thought about it.

From what he understood, babies cry when they're upset. Doesn't everyone at least feel grouchy when something irritated them? Sure, sometimes the reason a baby cries wouldn't be easy to figure out, just like the reason Lily suddenly crawled over to him right as the beds were becoming the next WWE smackdown. Perhaps Lily _knew_ what was about to happen and sought comfort from someone she trusted?

 _"Lily wouldn't be upset over the girls fighting, would she?"_ The Loud boy thought to himself.

Somehow, as uncomfortable as it sounded, Lily did get roped into sibling fights along with everyone else. Miraculously, she was unscathed each time it happened, large because she just sits there and cries while everyone else takes the hits. Lincoln guessed that in spite of everyone's foul mood they still had enough sense to avoid hitting a baby. Even so, Lily did manage to either bop someone with her rattle or attempt to bite people with her tiny, adorable teeth. So why would she be upset about it now? As far as Lincoln could guess, she just wasn't in the mood to fight.

Nether was he.

All Lincoln wanted was to address his sisters' issues like he usually did, and hopefully work out a peaceful resolution; turns out this caused more harm than good. His first attempt may have been bust, but Lisa's plan seemed to work; for a few days at least. Everyone (sans Lisa) seemed to have the ideal roommate for their respective interests, like Lisa said, and yet _something_ still went wrong. He wasn't sure what it was, but his genius of a sister was onto something when she said his sisters were hard to please. In fact, Lincoln would admit that he probably wouldn't have done anything about the girls room situation if they hadn't constantly interrupted his TV time last weekend. It wouldn't be the first time they disrupted an activity of his to vent, which was fine, but now it seemed like both his and Lisa's efforts were effectively pointless.

And the more he thought about it, the more Lincoln found himself becoming irate at the entire situation.

The boy's left eye started to twitch as his forehead started to develop a red hue. Lincoln bit his lower lip as his body started to tremble, only to be brought back to his senses when Lily buried her head into his chest. He gave a sad frown at the baby, gently rubbing her back in spite of his shirt being drenched with hot tears and snot.

"Someone's gotta stop this..." Lincoln muttered to himself before turning to Lori, only to frown upon seeing that she was on her phone again. "Lori, can you hold Lily for a sec?"

Lori glanced up from her phone. "Why?"

"Just do it." He held out the baby. "Please?..." He asked in a begging tone.

Lori stared at the two for a moment before shrugging and took Lily from his hands. "What are you gonna do?"

"Just cover her ears." Lincoln quickly replied before walking over to the cloud fight. He stayed a 7 feet away just in case someone tried to rope him into it. "Girls!" The boy yelled in a commanding tone, hoping it would catch their attention. Sadly, no dice. "GIRLS!" Lincoln yelled again, this time enough for his voice to carry halfway around the room.

None of the quarreling siblings heard this either. Lincoln turned around to make sure Lori did as he asked, a tad satisfied upon seeing the teen had her fingers plugged into Lily's ears.

Taking a deep breath, "STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-!" Lincoln yelled as loud as he could, only to be cut off when his throat could no longer handle the strain and sent him into a coughing fit. His voice was probably heard throughout the whole house.

"LOUDS! TURN OFF THAT RACKET! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!" Came the cranky voice of none other than Mr. Grouse.

Ok, the neighborhood if that.

Clearing his throat, Lincoln saw his other sisters had finally listened; they were stuck in various positions upon halting their conflict. Leni was having her hair pulled by Lynn, Luna was on top of Lola with a fist raised and Luan's foot planted on her cheek, Lisa was latched onto the back of Lucy's head with her wig sitting crooked on her dome and her glasses cracked, and Lana had her teeth sunk around Luan's leg that her foot connected to Luna's face. The comedian herself was gripping the back of Lynn's jersey with a visible tear in the fabric. Each of the girls were covered in various scratches and small bruises, with strands of hair and a black eye forming on a few of them; like Lynn, some of their clothing was torn into as well.

"Look, you guys need to figure something out." The 11 year old spoke in a hoarse voice, rubbing his throat to soothe his pain. "I've tried to help you, it didn't last more than a day. Then _Lisa_ came up with something and things looked like they were going on. But even with the best roommates you could possibly get, you guys _still_ find something to complain about!" Lincoln coughed a lot more before clearing his throat again. "At first I thought bunking with Lily was gonna be a bad thing, but turns out I actually _enjoy_ it. And I was the only one who _didn't_ have a roommate before all of this started! I could've easily said that I don't want to stay with her, but I gave Lily a chance and adjusted to her needs. I can't just force her to change for me..." The boy's voice was getting clearer, but it still sounded like he was struggling to talk. "Maybe instead of changing rooms, you should change _yourselves..._ " Lincoln planted his arms to his sides with his hands curled into fists. "And it anyone comes to me about roommate problems, sorry but I'm not gonna help you."

None of the girls responded as they processed everything Lincoln said; except for Lily, whose crying degraded into sniffles. Turning around Lincoln walked up to Lori, thanking her for watching Lily before taking the baby into his arms. Lily clung to him like a koala as the boy made his way to the door, hoping that some water would ease his dry throat.

However, right as Lincoln opened the door, he was met with his father in his nightwear with a hand reached out for the doorknob.

Lincoln's eyes widened a bit. "Dad?"

"Hey sport." Lynn Sr. greeted with a tired yawn before letting himself in. "Kids, me and your mother usually don't interrupt your sibling meetings, but-" The patriarch paused as he became slackjawed at the state most of the girls were in. From what little information he picked up through the floorboards, it seems the discussion about room arrangements went sour.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Lynn Sr. gave a frustrated sigh. "Ok. I know you guys switching rooms is still a thing, but it shouldn't come to..." He splayed his hands out at the group of girls who were untangling themselves. "This!" The father rested them on his hips. "I thought you guys had already worked something out, but I guess I was wrong. Now, your mother and I have a busy day tomorrow and all of you have school, so lights out in 10 minutes. And as far as the room assignments go, if you kids can't work something out by tomorrow afternoon, we'll decide _for_ you."

The kids went wide-eyed at this before Lynn Sr. decided to head back down.

"This is bogus man!" Luna groaned as she fiddled with the ear that had a missing earring. "Every time the 'rents pull that card on us, it never ends well!"

Lincoln let a despairing sigh escape him. "Guess we brought this on ourselves..."

"Says the boy that whose yelling probably woke them up in the first place!" Lola chided as she examined her gown.

Lincoln was about to point out all the noise they were making beforehand, but Lori beat him to it. "You were literally rocking the floor the whole time before Lincoln woke up the neighborhood. But like Dad said, we don't have time to cry about it. This meeting was a failure, so everyone just go back to your rooms and we'll deal with it in the morning. Case closed." The oldest sibling tapped her shoe on the desk at the last word, making sure it wouldn't be loud enough to disturb her already irritated parents.

* * *

The next morning was filled with the usual moaning of being forced to wake up before you're fully ready, along with some additional groans from several sisters who hadn't fully slept off the injuries they inflicted on each other the previous night. The 5 oldest sisters were centered around the coffee maker with cups of joe in their hands, looking miserable as ever due to not yet feeling the effects of caffeine hitting their systems. The younger ones were in various stage of waking up; the only one absent was Lily, as she was likely still sleeping in her crib. Lucy let out a yawn escape her, Lana was still asleep at the table with her face in her cereal bowl, Lola munched her toast in a pace so slow that you might say a sloth could eat faster, and Lisa (although not appearing as tired) rubbed one of her bag-filled eyes under her spare glasses before taking another sip of orange juice. Lucy and Lisa turned their heads towards the stairs as they heard a pair of footsteps, following by the shuffling of feet on the carpet.

Seconds later, a zombie-like Lincoln moaned a soft 'morning' before making his way to the kitchen. The two uttered a similar greeting before turning back to their breakfast. Like his sisters, Lincoln hadn't slept well that night; his squinted eyes were a bit bloodshot and he still had his bed hair.

Rubbing some dead skin away from his eye, Lincoln greeted his older sisters with the same, zombie-like moan as he reached out with one hand for the fridge door handle, missing a few times before he finally grasped the metal frame and opened the door. The boy grabbed the milk carton before shutting the fridge, moving to grab a bowl and cereal so he could munch on some Zombie Bran to hopefully get his brain jogging. Once he had his needed items, Lincoln shuffled back to the dining room and started fixing himself breakfast.

Lana snored again, soon bolting upright when she felt milk going into her nose. Upon lifting her head, a bandaid was shown to be stuck across the bridge of her nose; turns out Lucy nailed her harder than expected. The young mechanic blinked a few times to gain her bearings, soon focusing on her older brother. "Wow, I thought you would've gotten _some_ sleep last night."

"Lily was being fussy until it was almost 2 in the morning..." Lincoln grumbled, using a hand to support his head while the other dipped the spoon in his cereal. "Thanks for that by the way..." He finished irritably before chewing on the first spoonful.

"At least be thankful you didn't have to attempt to sleep off a migrane the size of this county brother sibling." Lisa replied as she rested her head on the table. "It is nearly impossible to get any proper rest if your head feels like the equivalent of a 1940s automobile running at 60 mph."

Lincoln flinched a little at that statement, a minor flashback of that near miss at the ice cream shop running through his head before his brain registered it as an analogy. A cold sensation ran up his spine before Lincoln opted to focus on his cereal once more, lest he get caught in another panic attack that he really didn't need this morning.

The 5 oldest siblings soon joined the rest, finding a spot to sit at with their own breakfast of either cereal or toast. No one was awake enough to cook eggs without making a mess.

"So Mom carpooled to work and Dad took a cab, which means we get to use Vanzilla today instead of the bus." Lori stated as she lazily thumbed through her messages. "And since we got some time...anyone want to address the elephant in the room?..."

Lana widened her eyes a bit, quickly looking to and fro for the aforementioned mammal. "There's an elephant in here?!" The tomboy lifted the table cloth and peered under, becoming disappointed as she only found several pairs of feet.

Lola shut her eyes and did her best to suppress a growl; it still came out as if a cat was hissing. "No, dummy! She's talking about last night."

"What _about_ last night?" Luan muttered.

"We still gotta figure out this whole room shuffle before Mom and Dad come and arrange it into something no one will be happy about. So," Lori leaned on the table. "Any suggestions? I'm literally open to _anything_ right now."

"How about we draw straws on who gets to have their own room?" Lynn stated before taking another bite of her toast.

Lisa shook her head. "That would never work without everyone else getting upset, and I'm pretty sure father wants all of us to be fair and equal in this matter. Not to mention the room I currently reside in is only 10x10x14 ft, so only someone of small stature would find it comfortable and still have space to spare." She scratched at the base of her wig. "Unless you prefer to sleep in the attic or the basement."

"I would prefer the attic: it's decrypt and perfect Fang and his family. But there's too many boxes up there, not to mention the A/C doesn't work so well." Lucy added.

"And the basement is the opposite. It's dark and cold, not to mention the washing machine and dryer make too much noise; and who knows what kind of bugs keep sneaking in down there." Luan followed up.

Leni's pupils shrank at the mention of bugs. "Please tell me there aren't any spiders in the basement..."

There's a high chance that at least one was down there somewhere, but no one wants to deal with Leni's arachnophobia right now.

"Moving on, what about the garage?" Luna spoke in a half-confident tone. "It works out for me when I have my jam sessions."

"Um, Luna? Remember the time Dad went crazy over the new van?" Lincoln asked, taking another scoop of cereal, soon talking whilst chewing. "I doubt anyone wants to take all those boxes out and find another place to put them."

"My hands feel clammy just thinking about it..." Lola agreed, rubbing one hand over the other.

Lori gave an exasperated sigh. "Well unless we can come up with something before we leave today, we're gonna be stuck with whatever Mom and Dad decide to do when we get back home, so anyone _else_ have any ideas?" She looked at the genius in the room. "Lisa?"

"Apologizes..." Lisa slumped against the table, "But I am currently unfit to offer any meaningful suggestions..."

The rest of the kids started to voice their apprehensions about getting unfair room arrangements, which wasn't helping anyone's tired state one bit. Lincoln absentmindedly tapped his spoon against the rim of his bowl, listening to the angry chatter surrounding him.

Sighing inwardly, _"Seems everyone already forgot what I said last night."_ Lincoln furrowed his brows a little. _"And_ _it feels almost_ exactly _like_ _last Friday. I mean, seriously? How did my sisters deal with their roommate's quirks the first time? It's not like the twins or the two performers in the house complain about each other once a month; maybe not every day, but a few times a week usually..."_

Lincoln became wide-eyed upon realizing how good of a question that sounded. He dropped his spoon in the bowl with a loud clang before bolting up from his seat. "Girls girls girls!" He spoke loudly, which was enough to silence the arguing sisters as they turned their attention to him. "Now, call this a long shot, but how exactly did you guys deal with your former roommates complaints? I mean, take Lana ruining Lola's dolls for example, and Lori messing up Leni's hair pin."

Lola rubbed the tips of her fingers. "I just look for something I could tell Mom and Dad to get her to stop since hiding them does nothing." She glowered at her twin.

"But, what about all of her pets?" Lincoln inquired. "If Luna could get annoyed by just a snake, I can't imagine how bad _you_ would react."

"Oh." Lola formed an evil smirk. "They're too scared to even go _near_ me. At first they thought I was like Lana, but go ask what they think now after what happened to Seymour." Lana, hesitantly, gave a nod in agreement.

"I thought that schtick with Seymour was fake." Lynn stated.

"Nope..." Lana sighed heavily. "It was real..."

Lincoln remained silent for a couple seconds as he wondered if those other stories the sisters told about Lola were true. "Oooookay?...What about everyone else?"

"Well, Luna doesn't complain about my sleep puns," Luan folded her arms, "But she did nearly melt Mr. Coconuts with her fog machine more than once."

Luna raised a brow. "You make puns in your sleep? I usually have my music rockin' on my headphones all night."

Luan formed a half-lidded stare. "Well that explains _that_."

"And sometimes, I move your dummy away from my stuff since they can heat up _real_ nice when in use. Don't want Mr. Coconuts to be smokin' and nearly burn the room down."

"Or the _house,_ in case you forgot the time you decided setting off fireworks indoors was a good idea..." Lori chided the 15 year old.

Luna smiled nervously. "R-Riiiiight..."

Leni tapped her chin as she recalled the incident with her hair pins. "OH! I stash my pins in a place where Lori won't _ever_ find them." She gave a confident smile at this fact.

"Leni, do you actually _remember_ where you hide them?" Lori asked in a dull tone, her posture indicating that she already knew the answer.

"Uh, yeah?" Leni scoffed. "They're in my..." The fashionista paused as her train of thought began to derail. "Um..." Her gaze shifted around, looking for an answer that wouldn't present itself.

"You hide them in _my_ dresser." Lori finished for her, a twinge of irritation in her tone. "And I end up using them because they look so identical to mine. _And_ half the time, you literally forget which clothes and whatever items that go with them are yours."

Leni started to sulk in her seat, feeling a little hopeless at her constant memory loss. "I'm sorry...I would ask, but I thought you'd just get mad at me..."

"Leni..." Lori started, her eyes softening as her lips curled into a faint smile. "I'd only get mad at you if you wear something that clearly didn't belong to you. I just wish you'd stop putting your stuff in my space."

"So, Lynn." Lincoln began as he turned to his sporty sister. He leaned on the table once he felt his legs weren't fully awake. "How'd you manage to get Lucy's bats to stop bothering you?"

"Oh." Lynn gave a prideful grin. "I put on my lucky jersey and they stay away for good."

Lucy scrunched up her nose upon the mention of that, whilst Leni jolted a little due to being reminded of what happened yesterday. "You mean the one you haven't washed in weeks?..."

"Can I keep it?" Lana asked.

"Yes, and no." Lynn answered both of them, her lips pouting a bit as she folded her arms. "Not like I can keep it dirty anyways because Mom won't let me..."

Lana's smile deflated into a forlorn look. "Bummer..."

"Not bummer! She should've washed those icky things _long_ before our noses started to fall off!" Lola growled.

Lynn rolled her eyes. "Anyway, so long as Lucy keeps her dark stuff on her side of the room, we're good." The jock turned her head towards the young goth lover. "But she keeps crossing boundaries too much..."

"I needed some items for my seances, which usually require concentration." Lucy met the athlete gaze with her own blank stare. "Something I can't do if you're always yelling too much about your last few games."

"So? Don't you just go and hide in the vents to do it?" Lynn retorted.

Lucy didn't give an answer for a few seconds. Just as Lynn was about to respond, the emo finally opened up with, "They're good for writing in isolation, but not for anything else..."

"Since we are on this matter, I might as well admit that I _usually_ do not have any qualms with Lily." Lisa stated.

"Then what was that all about last week?" Lincoln asked, drumming his fingers on the table in anticipation.

"Sometimes, being that Lily has yet to realize the hazards of some of my experiments (and per everyone's request), she wanders into my space at random while I'm working. While I do prefer to the companionship that comes with having a roommate, I do wish she'd learn not to distract me while I conduct my research as doing so resulted in a few accidents. The reason I decided to take part in the room exchange was to see how effective this social experiment would be." Lisa paused as she tilted her head towards the table, her left eye twitching a little as she felt her head throb. Bringing a hand to her temple, "And so Lily won't have a pulsating brain from radiation poisoning like I do. In particular, I received that from accidentally miscalculating my experiment when she wanted to play and had to rush Lily out of danger."

"Well, that explains the 'nuke experiment' or whatever going bust." Lori stated.

"See, this is what I was saying last night." Lincoln began, sitting back in his chair. "You guys have gotten used to your roommates over a long time that eventually, you kinda cancel out each other's annoying traits. Which is why I'm guessing things aren't working out like the way they should."

"Well, you were lucky to have a room to yourself for the past two years." Luan pointed out.

"Yeah," Lincoln folded his arms as he stood up straight. "But I've grown used to her."

"That sounds weird coming from someone who liked having their own space." Lynn chided, her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "You sure didn't want me around when me and Lucy had a spat months back."

Lincoln furrowed his brows a little. "That's cause you snore louder than a bear and kept trying to wrestle me." He grew a smirk. "But you still missed being Lucy's roommate like she did with you."

Both the athlete and emo looked at each other before glancing away awkwardly.

"Now, you may ask _why_ and _how_ I got used to Lily's quirks, and the truth is..." Lincoln paused, hoping his sisters wouldn't kill him over what he'd say next. "Truth is I..."

"Come on Lincoln! Spit it out!" Lola commanded, making the boy flinch.

"I-I wanted to make up for the times I used Lily for my own benefit or nearly lost her!" Lincoln stammered out, his lips curling into his mouth as if he just ate something sour.

"What?!" Lori yelped. "When?!"

At this point, Lincoln figures he'd best make it quick before his sisters started to make guesses on their own. "During that one time you guys were visiting Aunt Ruth, and I volunteered to babysit Lily, that was because I didn't want to get stuck with massaging her feet..."

Lori's surprised gaze faded into an unimpressed look. "Oh, we already figured that." She spoke as she gave a dismissive wave. "Not that we blame you Lincoln, cause her feet are literally the worst!"

"Yeah, but...I nearly lost her at the park after accidentally mistaking her for another baby..."

None of the girls said anything, only giving the boy neutral stares. This was beginning to unnerve Lincoln further, so he continued. "But I did find her and gave the baby back to the father who did the same thing. Annnnd I got chicken pox afterwards, so I guess that's fair?" The Loud boy smiled nervously as small beads of sweat formed on above his brows. Again, no one was saying anything; they didn't look shocked or even mad like Lincoln would've expected. "Ok, why is no one saying anything?"

"Cause it's not the first time one of us nearly lost track of you guys." Luan admitted, twiddling her thumbs. "I nearly lost Lucy at the mall once and thought Mom and Dad would cook me faster than a turkey. Turns out, she was still hiding in the children playground near the food court."

"I don't remember that." Lucy flatly stated.

The comedian rolled her eyes. "Of course you wouldn't; you were only 7 months old. You know how hard it is to watch you when you're quiet all the time?"

"I regret nothing." Came the emo's response.

"I left Leni in charge of the twins when I went to the bathroom while we were at the park one time. They were close to Lily's age." Lori spoke evenly.

Lola's pupils shrank at this due to knowing how dense her second oldest sister is. "Are you crazy woman?!"

"Hey!" Leni frowned as she turned to Lori. "I didn't lose them! That was you!" She points an accusing finger at the oldest sibling.

"I went to the bathroom for _two_ minutes and when I got back, you couldn't tell me where they were!" Lori retorted.

"I told you they were in the sand box! You calmed down after that, then I think I got distracted by an ice cream truck." Leni tapped her chin in thought.

Lori dispelled a frustrated sigh through her nose. "Sometimes it felt like watching after _three_ babies..." She muttered, to which a few others but Leni caught wind of.

"So, if this wasn't the first time it happened..." Lincoln mumbled as he scratched his head. "Who was watching over me?"

"Lynn." Luna pointed towards the jock, who gave a curt nod. Lincoln's pupils shrank at the thought of Lynn constantly losing him due to various reasons, but he became confused when Luna laughed a little. "Relax dude. She watched you like a hawk the whole time. You could barely go anywhere without her having to tag behind you or drag you back to us when you started to wonder off."

Lynn shrugged. "Someone had to do their job right."

"Hey..." Lincoln narrowed his eyes. "What about the time you nearly left me behind during Halloween?"

The brunette raised a brow. "Wasn't that the same one where you met Clyde?"

"Well, yeah." Lincoln admitted. "But still."

Lynn smirked. "Something good came out of it at least."

Lincoln pouted his lips before leaning back in his seat. "I guess...Mom and Dad don't know about any of this stuff, do they?"

Lori gave a low chuckle. "Heck no. If they did, all of us would be grounded til we're 20." Folding her hands behind her head, "So your secret's safe little bro."

"What about the time we went to the mall?" Lana voiced in confusion. "I never got to say goodbye to my little duckies before they left."

"What time was that? And why don't I remember it?" Leni asked.

"Uhhhhh..." Lincoln stuttered out, shifting his gaze every few seconds as sweat started to form on his forehead again.

"Lincoln wished to have his survival guidebook signed by the author who wrote it, but our parental units assigned him with looking after us while they took our siblings above Lincoln's age to their afternoon activities. So, lincoln dragged us to the mall with him." Lisa explained, taking a moment to finish her orange juice. Giving a satisfied sigh, she continued. "Due to the approximately 2 hour wait time for the line that developed, Lincoln tried to keep us satisfied until then, which included sticking us on a train ride that apparently got out of control due to being overcharged with the amount of quarters he fed it."

By this time, Lincoln was hiding under the table in shame. "Eventually, said locomotive jumped its tracks and each of us landed in various locations in the mall as it rolled through the busy stores; Lincoln had to track us down once he received said signature. In reference to his earlier misgivings involving our infantile sibling, she was still on the train that by then was on a collision course with Flip's food cart. However, Lincoln applied the knowledge he received from his guidebook and saved Lily without a hitch before anything would've occurred that would metaphorically end his life."

"It wasn't that bad though." Lola grinned, tapping her fingers together in a smug way. "I got to rule over my subjects with an iron fist!"

"And we got to keep ducks!" Lana cheered.

"And I was able to create a multitasking machine capable of replicating the appliances found in the store I landed in." Lisa added.

"Wow. Guess Lincoln nearly _derailed_ his chances of getting out of that one." Luan chuckled, earning a collective groan from everyone else in the room.

"That's the other reason why I wanted to make it up to her." Came Lincoln's muffled voice. "She could've gotten hurt twice because of me..." The boy's nose flared a little as he felt his eyes becoming wet. "No... _three_ times..."

"Lincoln..." Lori spoke in a soft tone that many would've swore almost sounded like their mother. "What happened about the car wasn't your fault. You can't expect someone to randomly go and crash every day as you go about your business." The teen folded her arms, a glare taking shape as she stared off into space. "Just like I can't predict when some idiot is going to cut me off on the highway..."

"I'm surprised she hasn't gotten any nightmares about it..." Lincoln replied.

"But she didn't get hurt or anything, right?" Luna pointed out. "Yeah, you kinda messed up by doing all that other stuff, but at least you took care of her."

"I know the table makes a good umbrella," Luan pulled up the table cloth to see her brother curled up on the floor with his knees folded against his chest. "But it's clear skies up here, so come get some sunshine bro." She chuckled a little, and Lincoln couldn't help the little smile that formed on his face.

He uncurled himself and climbed out from under the table, giving a slight hiss when the top of his head tapped the underside.

"So, you want to have Lily as your roommate." Lucy stated as if it was obvious.

Lincoln raised a brow. "W-What makes you think that?"

"Everything you've said about her, and the emotional bond I've seen between you two; you're worried that you won't be able to stay roommates with her if we change it up again." Lincoln didn't say anything after this statement, giving the goth lover the confirmation she needed. "You don't have to worry; I won't make you switch if you don't want to. Plus, I fear that Lily would leave droll on my book and Edwin."

"I think her dirty diapers are bad enough." Lynn added.

Luan gave a wide smirk. "That's a lot coming from the girl who refused to wash hers."

"Watch it..." The jock growled.

"Not to mention the level of admiration Lily probably has for you; our infant sibling may grow restless without Lincoln's presence at this point." She stopped upon hearing a high pitched squeal followed by what sounded like someone blowing a raspberry.

The siblings turned towards the dining room entrance to see Lily stumble in, making a few happy noises before she tripped over her feet again. Unfazed by the fall, the little girl pouted a little before walking over to her siblings general direction, then making a beeline straight for Lincoln's seat. Lily cheered to herself as she grabbed the leg of her brother's chair, bouncing on the spot like a happy puppy.

Lincoln gave a light chortle, leaning down and picking up the infant. "Morning Lily."

"Haai!" She responded back, giggling more when Lincoln softly tickled her tummy.

"And with physical evidence presented to us, it would be best if he and Lily remain in the same room." The genius commented.

"So you're gonna stay in that tiny little excuse for a room?" Lola bemoaned in disgust.

"While the floor space is much smaller than what I am used to, I do appreciate the isolation it gives me to conduct my research in peace." Lisa started to smile. "And the amount of insulation in the walls prevents me from being disrupted by unwanted noise."

"Until someone opens the door." The pageant winner half-joked.

"Guess you're takin' one for the team bro." Luna joked.

Lincoln shrugged. "I'd agree with you when we first started this, but I don't see it that way now." Lily grabbed one of his fingers, needing her entire hand to grasp it. However, she thought it might've been a pacifier and started to suck on it. Lincoln didn't seem to mind though, just letting the baby do her own thing as she rested in his arms.

Lori couldn't help but coo at how cute the scene was before snapping a photo of the two. "I'm totally gonna share this with-AAAH!" The teen suddenly screamed, gaining the attention of everyone else. "Ok, we need to wrap this up _right now_ or we're all gonna be literally late. So, everyone besides Lincoln, Lily, and Lisa who vote to switch back to our old rooms and learn to work something out, raise your hand."

The vote was unanimous as every one besides the trio held up a hand; Leni held up two, but this was ignored.

"Ok. Everyone has _five_ minutes for bathroom use cause we need to get our butts in the van in 40 minutes!" Lori glanced at Leni and Lola. "No exceptions! Now go!"

The siblings didn't need to be told twice. The rest of the morning was filled with panicked voices of the kids putting their day clothes on (some getting mixed up with others), thumps being heard due to getting stuck in the changing process, and banging on the bathroom door to demand that the current user hurry up. Rest assured, getting 11 people out of the house in such a short time was cutting it close. Didn't matter much though, as the kids would look forward to moving their belongings around once more after suffering through the education system for another day.

 **A/N: Sometimes it's best for the status quo to remain the same, as alternative solutions don't always work the way we want them to. Other times, it can be a nuisance (as shown in Change of Heart and Vantastic Voyage. Yes, I don't like them since they basically amounted to nothing)**

 **In regards to this episode, I felt the room changes would've worked initially, but over time the siblings would still run into problems no matter what. It still felt odd that Lincoln wouldn't want to room with the baby since he and Lily share a close relationship. Plus, babies are relatively easy to share with so long as they get enough love and attention. And I wanted to get the drama out the way so I could focus on more cute moments. You could argue the issue between the roommates wasn't needed, but I saw it was unavoidable due to how it was set up and questions that needed to be answered. But don't worry, the story isn't over.**


End file.
